Why do women put up with abuse?

Question

come on ladies it's 2006 and there is still some women with abusive men in thier lives. I don't understand why with so much information out there that ladies still think that they can stop the abuse if they do something better.of different. face it Abuse is a big problem still .

Answer 1

Probably because women are more patient than men. They have that big HOPE that men will stop abusing them one day.

Or, women are unconditionally in love w/ their men. They'll continue loving men no matter what. That could be called stupidity but there are women who are still martyrs.

Or, women depend on their men financially. Men, sometimes are more financially stable than women; and if women think that men could help them economically, they'd stay with their men...

There are a gazillion reasons but bottom line is there will always be abuse if women will tolerate it.

Answer 2

Even though I am almost positive Edna isn't the character being portrayed....the right sentiment is being expressed to try and help everyone understand by emotion.


despite out socio-economical changes in the last 50 years, even still some people are still being brought up in certain environments thatshow a child that sort of behavior is normal and tolerated by society. This in turn allows the child to grow up into the same type of adult their parents were ...or still are. You can not blame the ignorant, for they know no different and have never been exposed to anything different.

The only thing a person can do when introduced to any abused individual is listen and present them with options. To tell them they are stupid is to undermind the help they are asking for. If someone should finally open their eyes that they are being abused....when someone else tells them how stupid they are to not have protected themselves from the beginning, that abused individual will shy away ashamed that they even brought it up and hide within themselves, doing even more damage to their selves and their ego than the abusive other in the scenario.

Your blind and noncompassionate reaction actually hurts others, and in many scenarios hurts others more than if they just continued to live their life of slavery.

Go spend some time with an abusive shelter and then ask this question again.

reedit: Edna, thank you for the private email. I respect and understand your position. It is hard. But if you desire and deserve a life of your very own without religious doctrine, male dominance, or even mental/physical/emotional abuse call the police call a guidance individual. There are groups and organizatins of every form that are in touch with these initial contacts that will help you AND your children with a place to live, and social interactions with real humans. As I replied in the email I sent back to you, you are the first line of defense for your children, if you can not protect them then how can you possibly expect them to protect themselves.

Just remember if you call it abuse, then it is abuse. And it is against the law.

Answer 3

I AM THE ONE BEING PORTRAYED! I have 7 children. Ok some are grown but I live in California and can't afford anything. Our 3 children together are only 7, 4, and 3. I can't afford childcare even if I DID have a job. I am from Ohio and have no family here. I have no friends. If I go back my 4 older children would stay in California. I JUST CANT LEAVE them. Grown or not. They are 25, 20, 18, and 16. I can't do it. We are working class and own a home that would be sold and split but my share would not buy me another home. I would end up living on the bad side of town as it would all I could afford and would not want to raise my kids there. I HAVE gotten the numbers from the local shelter for support groups but I think I must be depressed or something because I just don't have the strength to even call let alone go. I feel so hopeless and scared and yet so full of rage at the same time. I just feel like I'm at this big wall and its soo big I can't even begin to fathom how I will even take the first step.

Answer 4

In some cases they don't have no were to go for help. I know there is women shelters but how can you run away from abuse.
Abuse is a serious issue in a relation wether it be physical, sexual or emotional abuse.
The only thing you can do is find a possible way of shedding a light on abuse and the problems it has on society.
It not only destroys one life but many depend if you have children.

Answer 5

Putting up with abuse is not the same as accepting it. Many women stay because they feel they are trapped -- and that can be in a physical way, an emotional way, or even just by circumstance. A woman could not have the necessary financial independence to move, thus she stays. She could be being emotionally overpowered, and overcome with self-doubt or feel that she is being blackmailed. She may fear if she leaves, he'll come after her.
Getting out sounds easy, in theory, until you have to do it. Planning how to get yourself, any kids, and your things, not to even mention pets, toys, etc. somewhere safe without alerting the abusive partner is overwhelming, and not simple. The information is out there, yes. And that information also says, according to recent statistics, that the average person attempts to leave an abusive relationship seven times before she is either sucessful or killed.

Answer 6

Women fear for themselves or others that they care about sometimes. They try to appease the abuser by giving in and staying put. After nine years with a terrorist in my life, I crossed the line to his side. He asked why I was sitting at the foot of the bed. I told him I intended to kill him when he went to sleep . And I do believe I meant it. And he believed it. He finally moved out. This situation could have ended badly. I was lucky. But fear is very controling and needs to be overcome to get help and use the help.

Answer 7

Yes, It is 2006 but there are still a lot of women out there that were taught "have to have a man to take care of them" Culture, self esteem, finances, and environment plays a major role in it

Answer 8

Though the date and times change, somethings never will, no matter how much information is out there.

Take drugs for instance, you learn in school that stuff such a pot or weed are bad for you. Over and over you hear it, but yet there will always be those that still use drugs, even though they know and have heard, it's not good for your body.

Answer 9

Part of it is that many abusers are very, very good at turning it around and making the woman feel that it's HER fault -- "You made me do it" or "You make me crazy and that's why I hit you." So they keep thinking they can somehow change themselves and become what he wants. It's impossible, of course, but too many women don't realize they're not the only ones in that rotten situation so they don't know what to do about it.

EDIT: Edna4Prez, please, please call the shelter. You desperately need to talk to them, and talking won't cost you anything.

Answer 10

some of them are probably afraid of their abusers...some of them have low self esteem and feel that they cant get another man (strange but true)...who knows?

I'm glad the man I have now is not abusive. If he ever started being abusive, he better sleep with one eye open.