My boyfriend is a cutter, how do i convince him to stop?

Question

I already tried talking to him about it but he keeps saying that it's the only way for him to lessen his emotional pain and that it really does help. I try to tell him it's making things worse but he won't listen to me, and he's not himself anymore. HELP!!!

His parents already know that he used to cut, and he already tried seeing a counselor. I feel like there's nothing i can do! And I'm against medication for stuff like this so please don't tell me that's what he needs. I don't need drugs changing who he is.

Answer 1

He needs to seek professional help..before he does too much damage to himself...and mentally to you!

Answer 2

My husband is a cutter, and I tried for years to get him to stop. It's sort of like an addiction, only your boyfriend can make the decision to change it, not you.

My husband's realization was that the cutting was for attention...but not the attention everyone talks about...REAL ATTENTION, someone to recognize how bad he really feels. Major depression, anxiety, all those things are horrible feelings...but since the pain isn't manifested physically (you can SEE it)...way deep down inside, he thinks if he makes a physical cut...then someone will see how bad it really hurts and reach out to help him...someone like you. But he will resist, just like when you fall down and your ego says you don't need help getting back up...That's what his mind is telling him, at the same time really wanting the help.

Just keep caring, and stick by him. Just let him know that you love him. You could mention that he could go talk to someone professionally. They won't make him stay in the hospital if he's not suicidal.

I hope this helped. You could always go talk to someone too. Here's some reading that might help you understand:

Answer 3

Wow, that's so sad...
The first thing you need to do is tell his parents. I mean, my boyfriend was a cutter, that's what i would do.
Then, you need to give him all the emotional support that you can. Then show him other options. Alot of guys like to use boxing to relieve pain. He can try music, martial arts, drawing/painting, etc. Then you need to explain to him that this habit of his will kill him. If you've already done that already, then great. If he doesn't have too many friends, then introduce him to some people you know that could help him. Being the girlfriend, you can easily tap into his mind and feelings and help him. It's just a female thing ;)
And whatever you do, try to keep him happy, but not too happy. Remember this:
"Through all happiness comes sadness."
Trust me, it always happens. He can be happy, but too much happiness will cause him to regret it.
I sure hope this helps, because that's a serious case you've got on your hands.

Answer 4

I have had a good friend in the same situation and honestly if they are convinced it's the only way to illimante pain and stress then it is almost completely impossible to change their mind. If it gets to bad then it might take an intervention involving you and other friends and getting professional help. But trying to simply change their mind will not work, unless you try to help him understand the negatives about it, but in a way he'll understand. Simply telling him he's wrong will possibly push the problem further

Answer 5

Found out what is causing his emotional pain, once you find the reason. Find a way to help him, leaving him alone to continue to cut won't any good, but getting way into his private life isn't good either. Sometimes counseling helps, sometimes it makes things worse, but try whatever possible.

Answer 6

First of all, is he on medication? Because it sounds like he has depression, and if that is the case, the only way to treat it properly is meds (i know- i cut and have depression.) If he doesn't get on meds, or get this fixed it could lead to suicide. I know for a fact if i didn't have my medicine i'd kill myself. Talk to him, his parents, whoever, and start him out on something like Zoloft. And I know it's probably impossible for you to understand, but just be there for him. Let him talk about his feelings- and simply hold him through his pain. There's really not much you can do until he gets some meds.

Answer 7

You really can't do anything or say anything to make him stop. This is definitely something that needs to be addressed by a professional. If you can get him to see someone that would be the best thing you could do for him. Do it soon before he's no longer around for you to help. :(

Answer 8

like others he need help really fast . Cutters have very serious problems . usually abuse in many formsac .
Ito tell a person to end a relationship but this is one time i highly recomend it . until he cets help a lot of med and serious dealaing wiuthn hisissuues . hevis going ot cutt himelf in my Wilderness Emt days we would get a cutter who messed up I was also a regualr EMT p[er die m for the county we would get cutters who either klled them aselves or camev damn cloes also it is a hell of a life ot lead being with one

best of luck

Answer 9

what he is doing is way beyond any one but a professionals help, IF he is already taking medication for depression then maybe you could call his doctor and leave a mesage for him saying how worried you are..........I am guessing that you are both reasonably young, maybe you can turn to family members, yours or his for some more guidance, but what every you do you MUST seek help, he really needs it, take care.

Answer 10

Honey, you can't make him stop, he has to want to stop on his own. All you can tell him is how it makes you feel and how much it hurts you. You can stand by him, if you fell like it is worth it, if not, get out as soon as you can.