Hi! I am 18 and I rarely get approached by guys my age. I am asked out by always much older men or I have guys that say they want to stalk or kill me (yah true story :/ ) or like recently a group of guys hollered and said "your so hot you fine piece of ***"-it upset me very much and was very degrading and I almost feel like all guys are like that. :( anyways, I am sort of shy but not around my close friends. I love laughing and smiling a lot and I am always friendly to everyone I encounter. I am a Christian and apart of that I have decided to save myself for marriage. My best guy friends and people tell me I'm beautiful which I don't feel, I feel like I must have an arm growing out of my head for them to not approach me. I feel like the only guys interested are the old men or stalkers. What is wrong with me?? I try to always be nice to people, but it seems like guys don't want the good girl. Is there something wrong with me?? Thanks for any advice and God bless!! :)
2006-09-06 15:15:38 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. But there is obviously something wrong with some of the men your around.
A fact of life for being a woman, is that your always gonna get ogled, checked out, cat called, harassed, and embarrased. We all go through it.
Now, for the old men thing... tell them to go home to their wives and pop a few viagra's.
You don't need anyone else out there... as long as you have close friends and family, then your blessed, especially if your close friends are true friends... then you are really blessed.
Another thing... if there is anyone in particular you like, instead of waiting for them...ask them yourself... life is to short to beat around the bush... grab the bull by the horns and live a little. ;-)
2006-09-06 15:20:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
18 y/o guys are not noted for their depth. Some ARE more serious than others, but enough are out there looking for the quick piece that the stereotype runs pretty true. I think even most 18 y/o guys will probably admit to this.
Older guys are probably more interested in you because you show more depth than most 18 y/o girls, but you have the body of an 18 y/o. They may want depth, but they want the other stuff too!
Seriously though, as you get older, you do become more interested in actually talking to your girlfriend/boyfriend. You learn that the old saying, 'you have to talk to them sometimes' is absolutely true.(for women as well as men)
Don't change just to get a boyfriend. That never works and you'll just end up being angry with yourself or worse. Be who you are, the rest of your generation will catch up with you in a year or two and none of this will matter.
2006-09-06 23:02:09 · answer #2 · answered by glenbarrington 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are saving yourself for your future husband, why are you worried about what others say.
The hollering guys were probably hollering at everything that passed by that was wearing a skirt or anything remotely resembling a woman. Not to say you aren't beautiful, but when some men get together especially childish teenagers they act that way.
I was never interested in boys my age for this same reason, thankfully I rode a bus to school and when I was in high school the boys would brag about their sexual accomplishments on Monday mornings. It was always so disgusting, and rude I thought since some of them even gave the names of the girls they had conquered, of course most of them were lying....
It's too bad you don't feel beautiful, maybe because of your shyness, did you have a grow spurt and felt uncoordinated for awhile, I did, and everyone thought and said I was beautiful but I didn't see myself that way, and my sister told me that was part of my beauty. Maybe. Trust yourself and your feelings, and what your true friends tell you, not some guy who is after only one thing.
Men, boys they like to play the field but when it comes to settling down and they start thinking about the wedding march they go looking for the good girls trust me, no man wants to know that you had lovers before them, somehow its ok if they had 50 though.
God bless you and don't worry so much what other people think of you learn to love yourself and you will always be at peace, never conform to other's ideas because of peer pressure these boys and girls you are at school with now once you move on you will probably never see again.
2006-09-06 22:32:38 · answer #3 · answered by Neptune2bsure 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing I can hear so far but like I suggest to many teenagers do something outside of Church and school. Go to space camp, do 4h, Go to summer school program at a college, pick up an art class. Ignore the idiots who idea of bravado is yelling out stupid things. They are insecure and hiding behind loud stupid phrases. Take your time and stop looking for a boyfriend. When you begin to relax and start enjoying yourself you become that more attractive.
There are many groups and activities that christian teens can go to. Just remember to be safe christian teens have a higher percent of fooling around without protection. Besides embarrassment, pregnancy, there are also health risk to consider. Every christian should realize that we aren't perfect and that we can sin, which is why we need forgiveness. But make sure that if you are going to go against your teaching that you do it in the safest way possible for your body which is a temple.
Check around and see what is out there for youth your age. What structure environment is there for people who are around your age, because with more contact with people the more chances you will meet someone. Just remember it's not really important to have someone right now and relax, before you know it you'll wonder how it was that you didn't have someone.
2006-09-06 22:30:05 · answer #4 · answered by Attacus 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Older men are more confident than younger ones and the younger ones that do approach you are probably arrogant, right? This is typical with beautiful young girls thats why you always see pretty young girls with older guys. The reason, younger nicer men dont approach you is because you may be intimidating, you may not see why but a pretty young girl like, Im assuming you are, can be very intimidating to some guys. Not all guys are the same just like not all girls are the same. Stay patient and dont be afraid to flirt with a guy you like thats not approaching you because that guy may just think you're out of his league. The only reason you think all guys are the same is because the only guys that are cocky enough to approach you are alpha arrogant males that aren't ashamed to make a fool of themselves...and in turn that attracts a lot of females but you're obviously smarter and more mature to see thru their front. I wouldn't let it hold you back, you'll find the nice guy it just may take some time because you're only 18 and there is still a lot of time for both you and guys to mature at your age.
2006-09-06 22:25:17 · answer #5 · answered by Murfdigidy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No nothing is wrong with you--in fact you sound like a mature young lady with solid values--sadly most your age (especially boys) are immature and wild. The best thing for you to do is focus on your friends and family for a few years and of course school ;) and before you know it you'll have guys taking notice, they just gotta grow up first! lol As for the stalkers I'm not sure what to tell you, do you live in a bad neighborhood? Or dress suggestively, in no way do I mean to imply it's your fault but if it happens all the time you need to sit down with someone you trust and work on why and please talk to the police about that situation--there are anti-stalking laws that may help you. Best wishes for you.
2006-09-06 22:25:53 · answer #6 · answered by hala_leon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of guys don't want the good girl. And the reason for that is because they aren't looking for a relaionship, they're looking for a piece. Especially these older guys you're talking about. Don't fall into the trap of thinking "oh this guy's older and if he likes me, I must be really mature and look older for my age". But that's not what it is, in fact these old guys probably like you BECAUSE you're young. These guys are scum. It sounds like you know it, but don't forget. A good guy WiLL like you, and a good guy will want a good girl. Because no one marries the slut. They just sleep with her. If you have the patience to wait for sex for marrige, then you have the patience to wait for a nice guy too.
I will just say, I don't actually recommend waiting for marriage. That's WAY over rated. I married my first, and when you've been with him for like 5 years or so, you'll start to wonder what else is out there, and what sex is like with other guys. Take my word for it... or don't. We'll see...
2006-09-06 22:22:21 · answer #7 · answered by Smitten_Kitten 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes pretty girls are not approached by guys because they are intimidating. A boy may feel he doesn't have a chance with a pretty girl, and instead of approaching and possibly being rejected, he wont even consider it. I think that is why I see so many not so pretty girls with scores of boyfriends and pretty girls alone. Perverted men and stalkers usually look for girls who they think are weak. They are cowards and are afraid of women who seem confident. They may have mistook your shyness for weakness or vulnerability. Try walking up right with a confident stride, it will make a world of difference. Do not be afraid to give a nasty look to jerks, they usually will stop and look embarrassed.
It's great that you are waiting, I am too. I think this says a lot about how much you respect yourself and your future husband. I hope I was helpful.
2006-09-06 22:22:15 · answer #8 · answered by pinacoladasundae 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Congrats on saving yourself. Boys your age are just that, boys. Males mature much slower than girls. So, while you sound like a very mature young lady it may be intimidating for guys your age. That is why older guys like you, you are at their maturity level. Hang on it eventually evens out. Remember that God says for everything there is a season. Hang out and enjoy your season. It will eventually change.
2006-09-06 22:24:28 · answer #9 · answered by sexyheater 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
....kinda creepy with the old men stalkers part.... i dont think there is anything wrong... most guys might be shy... most guys are too shy to go up to a girl and ask her out at the same age (like me :( ) maybe you can ask your guy friend out or something... Hope you find someone soon ^^
2006-09-06 22:24:39 · answer #10 · answered by aznboi274 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋