I think I have "avoidant personality disorder." Now what?

Question

I've been previously diagnosed as having generalized anxiety disorder and social phobia, but I think this (seemingly stronger) diagnosis of "avoidant personality disorder" fits me to a tee. From the diagnostic criteria listed on wiki:

> Avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact, because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection

I definitely avoid all such activities that I can.

> Is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked

I suppose this is accurate. I am certain I will not be liked, thus I am sure that attempting to "get involved with people" is something I should not do.

(running out of characters... more coming.)

oh,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avoidant_personality_disorder

> Shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed

Irrelevant, as I have no intimate relationships.

> Is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations

I am certain I will be rejected in all social situations. Does this count as "preoccupied?"

> Is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy

I am certain I am inadequate; thus inhibition seems like the logical way to act.

> Views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others

Heh. This is where I question psychology. Sure, I view myself as all of these, but it's also a *fact* that I am socially inept, personally unappealing, and inferior (socially) to others. Why does the definition focus on "views self as" rather than "self is"?

and the 7th:

> Is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing

This is actually two things. I suppose I am reluctant to take "personal risks" because I know they will be doomed to failure (which I can handle) but also a cause of disruption in the things-I-have-to-do (which I can't handle).

I embarrass myself daily (hourly?), so I can't say that I do not engage in new activities for that reason. Well, ok, new activities would be even more embarrassing, but I'm just trying to keep alive here.

jeepwife4ever: my work is graduate school; I'm a first-year Ph.D. student. So yes, I sort of interact with some people, but I know they all feel icky around me. Except for a couple of profs that are nice to me.

SidTheKid: no, I'm not simply shy. I wish that were the case, as I've seen today that shyness does almost no harm to life; in particular, it is possible for a shy person to be liked by other people and actually have a gf/bf, while this is not possible for me.

Yeah, I suppose I'm a very-messed-up sad sack and should probably shoot myself, but I'm not gonna do that.

Oh, I am going to see a therapist as soon as I can make an appointment with one in the new city where I live. So... I know I need to see a therapist and I'm going to do that. I've seen therapists for about 10 years and I suppose the last one was helpful, as I managed to graduate with an MS degree in math in a relatively short amount of time.

I'm also curious if I should be taking different medications. I'm currently taking Paxil and Klonopin. I would say I've taken about every anti-anxiety and anti-depression drug, but an acquaintance told me about one I hadn't heard of yesterday, so this is not the case.

Answer 1

I don't think I am a misfit in society, but I enjoy a lot of isolation as some activities with people are just too stimulating and keep me up at night when I get "wound up".......you're ok......and remember, YOU ONLY PLAY FOR AN AUDIENCE OF ONE.....THAT BEING GOD...., just assume people like and approve of you until they say something......than only take the blame that you can own...not theirs...God bless and don't worry!!!!

Answer 2

I don't know what you should be correctly diagnosed with; by our social standards. Doctors would rather treat symptoms than the origin of the problem. It's my opinion that you are afraid of something other than the symptoms reveal. That is; your anxiety around people is a cover, a less humiliating result of hiding what you are truly afraid of. I have a similar problem. Mine is a result of not having any close intimate relationships during critical periods of my existence. Leaving me feeling alone in a crown, as well as ostracised while standing up for myself, or during conflict. I really don't intent to make this answer a simple venting on my part, but without much more information about you; this seems to me, to be the best way of getting your attention, giving your what little info I have, and perhaps helping in some small way. Breaking up with Fiancee= lack of intimate relations. Who represented your major moral support before your x-fiancee? Perhaps seeking out these people can help. I think I'm set up to receive email from you folks here at answers; feel free. good luck

Answer 3

If you do indeed have avoidant personality disorder, don't stress yourself . Are you depressed over not having close confidants or a significant other?

If you do feel depressed over not having a boyfriend, try to focus on what you can do to change yourself - maybe you are unapproachable; if you change your outlook, perhaps others will be drawn to you. For example, I sense some negativity and self deprecation; try to be more positive. Also, you might want to look into cognitive behavior therapy.

If you don't feel depressed, then there is no problem. Don't let society make you think that you are a failure for not having those things if you don't care for them - focus on your strengths - what makes you feel good about life, whether that be your studies, work, or a hobby.

Good luck!

Answer 4

I'm worried about your question, simply because you take paxil and klonopin. Both can actually cause these feelings. The list of side effects for both are a mile long. I have done extensive research on this: I am 12 years on paxil with two cold-turkey attempts that almost killed me. I have also taken klonopin, and you would pale at the list of other things docs gave me to mask the side effects of paxil.
Come to the site below and read around. Search for klonopin. The entire site is devoted to paxil sufferers, but we discuss many different anti-depressants and benzos. We have nurses, doctors, psychiatrists, and activists that answer questions, as well as many scientific references.
I used to have many of the symptoms you listed!! They were from paxil -- as I taper off the drug, I am finally getting relief. Come visit - you only have to join if you want to ask any of us questions, but you're free to read at leisure. Please, get the facts.

Answer 5

do not try to self diagnose. sometimes social anxiety disorder and avoidant personality disorder are very close to each other in symptoms. there are medications that can help. I have a son that takes one pill a day and it changed his life completely. now he can go to a party and start a conversation with anyone and he has a girlfriend of 2 years

Answer 6

You probably still go to work though or interact with some people? There are times of stress in our lives when we prefer to be more on our own because of comments people make. I don't know if it's a personality disorder or just not wanting to deal with certain comments.

Answer 7

40000 Cured Social Anxiety : http://SocialAnxiety.uzaev.com/?Gzws

Answer 8

Don't worry about it, everyone needs a little peace and quiet sometimes. One day you may find that you are just like most other people, just a bit more sensitive, and that is not a bad thing, as you are obviously quite intelligent

Answer 9

I think I have it too, but I don't have insurance to get counselling.

Answer 10

I use to have it when I was a kid/teen. I'm out of it now