Confused about labels?

Question

Lately I've been getting more and more confused about my sexuality. I am attracted to guys but I am also attracted to girls. I could honestly see myself having a life with either sex. But whenever I try to bering up this subject with people around me I always get the awkward silence or someone says Being Bi, is just one more step to becoming a lesbian and from my gay friends I always get Stop trying to have your cake and eat it too I now have people from all sides telling me that I ought to hurry and choose a side and it has me confused and questioning everything. Does anyone else believe that being bi-sexual is like a halfway point? And why is there such hostility towards bi-sexuals, at least from the gay's I've talked to, from the gay community? I was talking to this girl and I explained to her that i was Bi and she completely just tuned me out afterward which hurt. I am so confused and hurt by the lack of support I am getting. most of all i hate the fact that labels are so important

I am up for being monagamous (sp?) and I always explain that yet by lesbian girls I always get blown off, any help is apreciated

Answer 1

"Gay," "lesbian," and "straight" are just labels imposed by society, like "black" and "white." According to society, we have to be identified as one thing or the other--either straight or gay. I'm glad there are a few other people who believe, like me, that you don't have to be either one or the other, but it's possible to be your own person.

I think, as someone else here said, that gays just resent bi-sexuals because bis have the freedom to choose who they want, rather than living in a societally imposed box.

Labels are evil. Resist them with all your might.

Interesting fact: The spell check rejected "societally," and gave as an alternative word "suicidally." That seems to fit.

Answer 2

Because people are ignorant as all hell. I’m not saying all people, but why are some people so against bisexuality? I’m not bi, I’m a lesbian, for the record, but I don’t share the same view many other people share about bisexuality.
For starters, bi people are no more or less promiscuous than straight or gay people. So when some people say “You’re sleeping with every one they ever slept with”, well, isn’t that kinda true for everybody?
I especially know a lot of people who say “Bi people can’t love, and are more likely to cheat/leave for another man/woman”
I’m sorry if I’m the only one who doesn’t buy that. I feel each person is who they are, and if somebody is going to cheat, they’re going to do it regardless if they’re gay, straight, bi-with a man or a woman.
I especially know a lot of gay people with this attitude, who say bi people are confused, or greedy, and that they should just choose. But if someone were to say to them they chose to be gay and they could choose to be with someone of the opposite sex, I bet they’d be mad as hell.
So, for the life of me, I cannot understand in a world where a person is so conditioned to hatred, intolerance and being prejudiced against, why all the hypocrisy? Why can’t some accept others the way they are, as we ask to be accepted for who we are?
Doesn't make much sense, does it?

Answer 3

Bisexual means capable of being attracted to either sex. That's YOU! You can label yourself however you want, or you can reject any labels at all. Queer is a good all-purpose term that doesn't go into any specifics. I stick with "bi" even though I only date girls because to ignore the fact that I think guys are hot, or that I wouldn't mind dating one if the right one came along, would be lying to myself. It is not a halfway point, it is not greedy, it does not make you untrustworthy. It will make you shunned by gays and straights alike, but trust me, the gay community will be much kinder to you in the end. There is a lot of misunderstanding about bisexuals in both communities, but the gay community is a LOT quicker about educating itself and becoming more... not just more tolerant, but more loving and supportive, too.

Forget labels when you are trying to meet someone. Stick with "I like you."

Answer 4

Hi, i am a bi-female myself, but when it comes to realationships i am only with one person at a time. I asked a few of my friends why some gays have issues with bis, their answer is because you have the ablity to lead a normal life according to society and we will always be viewed as wrong. Please dont get offened by that, they were just being as honest as they could, i have known them for years.But it is true. If i was completely lesbien where I live I would have people hounding my door spitting profainities at me, but i happened to fall madly in love with my husband so this is not an issue. The gay and lesbian couples here get yelled at, spit at, and sometimes beaten. OUCH! It does not however, mean you are at a half way point. I have been and always will be bi. We are how we are born and thats that.

Answer 5

Well, I have absolutely nothing against bi women. I think everyone should do what makes them happy as long as it's legal. But I'm a lesbian, and I wouldn't date a bi woman, not seriously anyway.Bi women are fun to play with, and I know I'm going to sound like a b*tch saying this, but I could never give a bi woman my heart when it came to permanently settling down, knowing that she could go back to heterosexuality after we've been married for 4 years and have kids.Don't take this personal, there are also others I wouldn't date, including studs/butches, mothers,smokers and of course men.Some may call me a b*tch or childish. Some may say I'm limiting myself, as I never know who I could fall in love with. But I can't help it if I know exactly what I want in my life at age 22.I can't speak for every lesbian, as some lesbians have no problem dating bi women, but maybe I can give some insight as to to why a lot of lesbians don't date them. As with every relationship(whether straight or gay), trust issues always come up, and you already have to worry about other girls, you don't want to worry about other guys too. A lot of lesbians have dated bi women, and they have treated the bi girl with respect, honesty, did the world for her, and loved her unconditionally. But if a guy comes along and he seems like he could be a nice guy, a lot of times the bi woman will choose him over the woman who she's been in a great realtionship with because not only is it more acceptable for a woman to be with a man but she can marry him legally, he can give her kids, and being straight is like Mastercard, it's accepted everywhere. However, you need to ask yourself when it comes time to settle down and getting married, could you really see yourself with a woman for the rest of your life if one was to come to you at that time? If that's true, then you really are bi. But if you reaally just like the sex with the girls and the relationships with the guys, then please let any lesbian you date know this upfront.But I'm just giving you my point of view, this should not change who you are. If you are bi then you are bi. Make no apologies about it. Being bi just means you're twice as likely to get a date on Friday night! Good luck and stay blessed.

Answer 6

I can only speak for my self, I'm Bi and who ever says it's the best of both worlds are very wrong, I been fighting this all my life and it's hard, I'm married and want to behave but yet I have these feelings. If I wouldn't hurt anyone and I had to do it all over again I be with a male but then again the grass is always greener in someone else yard...

You be your self because there's nothing wrong with being you.........

Best of luck

Answer 7

I think everyone is a little bit Bicurious

You can be a bisexual and not end up beig gay or hetero and actually stay bi. I know alot of people who know they are bi and want to stay that way.

people are just ignorant. just do what feels right for you and the person you are with or want to be with. It shouldnt matter or be anyone elses business who you love.

Answer 8

I don't think anyone who is a friend shouldn't care if you are gay or bi or straight, a friend wouldn't judge you and if they do that don't make them much of a friend anyway maybe you need to go with the way that makes you feel best you're the one who will have to live with your decision whatever it may be

Answer 9

Your straight or you a deviant. Thats not confusing.


Gays dont like bi's because it destroys their theory that your born gay or straight. If your bi then you have consciously made a choice.


Like Neh says as long as your two consenting adults. Go see if your parents are up to it, or maybe your aunt.

Answer 10

I don't care for labels either.

For me personally, I would never trust a bisexual or a vegetarian for a serious relationship. That's just the way I feel for a number of reasons and from personal experience.