how do you improve on your child's drive to compete?

Answer 1

You don't.. drive is a trait your child is either competitive or not..

Answer 2

Agreeing with some of the above posters. Maybe you should realize that there is a distinction between competing and excelling.

Competing implies that there always has to be a winner, a top dog. Most of the people I've ever met who took that too seriously were not very pleasant people, rarely helpful to others. Usually lonely in the end.

Let's take an example some parents might appreciate. Music. Give a kid an instrument and let them play. See if they enjoy it. If they do, they'll be attracted to it on their own. They'll end up practicing not because they have to to get better according to some extraneous standard... better than someone else. They'll improve because they begin to enjoy the process of music. That process then gets enhanced when they start to play with other people. In that setting, it isn't competition, it's cooperation, which builds respect for others. The child might discover that another person plays well, they want to play well, just like this other person. They want to make music with this other person. The product of this is joy. The best of what music can offer.

On the other hand, you can get the kid to sit there and run scales til their little fingers ache. Put the pressure on. Put increasingly difficult music in front of them. Force them to play at recitals, to compete with other musicians. To be the greatest pianist.

But this isn't the same thing as playing music for the love of music. It usually creates a prima donna, a selfish egoist. The worst aspects of both music and the human psyche.

I hope you get my meaning...

Answer 3

You said "improve", but you didn't explain what you mean by that. Depending on your point of view, improvement might be increasing or decreasing the drive to compete.

To be honest, your question kinda gives me the creeps. Sounds like you're a really annoying, pushy parent.

Answer 4

Give them goals that are attainable (but not too easy) with a reward that they really want to get. If your child isn't good at something, they will never want to do it so make sure that if you are having your child compete, that it is something your child is good at and likes to do.

Answer 5

it has been my experience over many decades, that those persons who are "very competitive" at all times with little heart, and no concern for others, also tend to be narcissist sociopaths. surely not something you would wish here. thus, while being quite motivated is probably fine; wanting to beat everyone at everything all the time usually indicates low self esteem and dysfunction. so, the "middle path" regarding "being competitive" would seem the best path. i have no idea exactly what you have in mind, i'm just offering this as general info. ;-)

Answer 6

somehow, i suppose, competitive behavioir will have to be rewarded, while noncompetitive behavior is punished...
I'm considered very competitive by my peers and myself. I am the eldest of three boys, and i've been in many martial arts tournaments, swimming tournaments, track and field competitions, wrestling tournaments and NJROTC rifle drill team competitions. Having mentioned that, none of my friends have ever been in any team sport or grew up with siblings.

Answer 7

Children are all different and you haven't given clear detail of your expectation of this child. Do you expect him/her to win? Do you expect him/her to try? Does he/she try? Does he/she fail? Is this something they care about? Is this the competition of sport, show or life? How old is the child? Is this for you more then it is for the child? Too much unknown to answer.

Answer 8

maybe it's just okay that your child not have a high competitive drive. Maybe you should let your child be who he or she is and let that be okay. Accept that. Maybe you should focus more on yourself then on your child. Hope this helps...

Answer 9

Give them incentives, but do not bribe!