2006-09-06 14:28:18 · 8 answers · asked by asrvivor 2 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Some children are naturally driven, some are not. I have 3 children, raised the same way with the same set of ideals. One is in University studying to be a lawyer - it's been her lifelong dream and she's never lost the focus on her goal. She has to be the best at everything she tries in order to fulfill her own personal needs.
My other two have no interest in being as competetive as their sister. They tried sports, but became disillusioned when it became clear there was more politics than sportsmanship going on. They're the sort of kids who make their own way without feeling the need to out-perform others.
Myself, I was never into competetive sports, but I do have an urge to succeed at a more personal level. I don't think "the drive to win" is something a child can acquire if it's not already in their personality.
Most kids are set in their personalities by the age of 6 - some can do math in their head, some who are clearly artistic, some who excel at sports, and some who are simply philosophers and writers.
We can lead by example, or we can threaten, bribe and cajole, but we can't force our kids into something that doesn't hold their interest, much less something that doesn't sit right with them.
Go rent the movie "Imaginary Heroes" - it was a real eye-opener.
2006-09-06 15:09:14 · answer #1 · answered by joyfulpaints 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
same answer as with your question on "compete", eh? i would also add, sometimes hyper competitive parents are "given" non competitive personality children so that they can see among other things how different people are one from the other, how superficial and dysfunctional our culture is, how winning and being a success in a toxic robber baron culture may be misguided, etc. are you such a parent? was your father? pushing an artist type to be competitive is often unsuccessful and destructive to the child. i would try to find out where my child stands in terms of, for example--the enneagram; the myers-briggs personality profile, and astrologically. he/she may just not be an extravert /aries /tycoon a**hole type like donald trump, or thousands of other heartless, clueless, one dimensional "success stories". hhmmm. is that clear enough? ;-)
2006-09-06 22:10:13 · answer #2 · answered by drakke1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What age child are we talking about? Not everyone has that drive to win, I think it is more important to do a job well, and take pride in yourself. Winning is just the icing on the cake.
2006-09-06 21:49:38 · answer #3 · answered by bubu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could give hima form of reward for winning. also, if he has another sibling or older bro/sis then they could have races where the one that wins could choose what you eat the next night or family game night where the winner has to have the other do their chores. there are may! :D
2006-09-06 21:32:19 · answer #4 · answered by funky_fresh_flower 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Encourage them to do their best, then they will enjoy when they win, and learn not to be too discouraged when they lose. Which is a better character builder?
2006-09-06 22:42:16 · answer #5 · answered by keri gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Praise their every achievement, regardless of victory or defeat..
But note that competitive people get in trouble more often than easy-going people..
:-)
2006-09-06 23:16:02 · answer #6 · answered by Andreba 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't. You just let them be who they are and let that be okay. Let them feel your love and acceptance and then they will grow to respect and love themself. Focus on improving your self if you want to improve something.
2006-09-06 22:08:25 · answer #7 · answered by guitaryogi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to spell. Then teach your children.
2006-09-06 21:30:52 · answer #8 · answered by Z Town Mom 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋