today I went to pick up my check from my job when the girl that my husband had a affair on me with walks in wearing my work uniform, I asked my boss if she hired a girl named allanna she said yes and I told how I know her my promblem is that I thought I forgave her when I came to christ, but I was all shaky and my heart was beating real fast plus my husband has to stop of at my work to drop off my unifrom, I'm scared that he might ask her to go to chruch I know everyone needs to be saved I just dont want her to go to my church,she can be saved and go some where else I know thats not very christian like but I've only been a christian for a year, not that that's any ascuse am I wrong here? please help!
2006-09-06 14:08:58 · 38 answers · asked by sunistao 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WOW, I cant believe what good answers I got from all of you, thanx you all helped me alot, but I was being pretty stupid overthe whole thing my womanly emotions got the best of me I'm chosing best answer on the REAL mind set of my emotions that cause all the pain and hurt
2006-09-08 04:14:31 · update #1
You are one crazy nutcase
2006-09-06 14:10:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
Don't feel guilty about your feelings not being "Christlike." It is an interesting prediciment but it is what it is. Express to your husband that you are not over that situation completely. That you thought you were but the feelings haven't gone away now that you have seen her again. Maybe this is the Lord working for you to view her and not feel insecure. Remember that it was your husband's short comings that lead to his affair NOT YOU or anything about you! Be yourself and don't try to be too much around her. Pray for strength and peace while you are around her. Also pray for forgiveness to come into your heart.
It is hard to view the final outcome of a situation from the beginning but things always work out. This will be no exception, you may be tried a time or two or this may just be as smooth as silk to get through. Be calm and patient in your emotions and actions. This will be a character builder!
You have my thoughts and prayers.
2006-09-06 14:17:33 · answer #2 · answered by ZIAGACITY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear IO cannot see your problem. She is free to get a job anywhere as long as she is qualified.
She is free to attend any church as long as she respects the general custom and do not cause any problem
She needs to be saved and g to heaven just like anyone else. The problem here as I see it is that you need to control your emotion. You need to do some real breathing exercises. Learn what is forgiveness and pray for her. Try to overcome the past by telling her something good about herself. Find the good things about her and commend her for those. Best of luck
2006-09-06 14:16:24 · answer #3 · answered by sexonsight 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry for anyone that has been through what you have been through, I had the same thing happen to me, I find it so hard to forgive, even when I say I forgive them the hurt , and pain just doesn`t go away, Did you think anything but a death in the family would feel this bad ? I want to forgive, But deep down I really want them to feel the pain, and hurt, that they have caused me and my kids. I hope God can forgive us, for feeling this way on the inside. I pray for you , that God helps you through this.
2006-09-06 14:22:18 · answer #4 · answered by theladylooking 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiving is one thing, but I'd have a hard time myself with having the object of one of the deepest hurts and having to stare at her mug every day. If you can avoid her, I would do that. Maybe tell her that you know you have to work together, and that although you are working on forgiveness and healing in your marriage, it may not be possible for you to really talk to her unless it's work related. And that you hope she understands. And then leave it at that.
2006-09-06 14:20:58 · answer #5 · answered by Kathy C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made the choice to accept him after his adultery, now you have to live with this problem.
Christ will show you what kind of husband you have soon enough.
You will have to pray for help about you're feelings and deal with it or just get another job.
But, how can a "Christian" not want someone to turn their lives toward Christ and not want them in "Their Church". You have a lot of issues and you will have to deal with them. Remember you chose to say with him.
2006-09-06 14:17:31 · answer #6 · answered by Martin M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not wrong. Just because you forgave her doesn't mean you have no feelings about the whole thing. God gave you feelings to feel.... he wants you to use them, but in the proper way. You have every reason to feel the way you do.. I am christian and i still haven't been able to get past my EX and his affairs he has had... forgive? can't do that yet either.
2006-09-06 14:21:42 · answer #7 · answered by pink9364 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch! I am sorry to hear about your rather unfortunate chain of events.
My best advice is to never have your husband drop off your uniforms again. Don't bring her up. Don't tell him anything about this. You aren't lying so don't worry about breaking a commandment or anything. I just wouldn't speak to her. You forgave her in your heart and with Jesus. You don't have to be her friend.
Good luck sweetie. I am so sorry!
2006-09-06 14:12:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
forgiving people doesn't mean accepting what they have done or choosing to associate with them
if you can forgive her it will make you feel better, make you more peaceful and happier (it won't have much affect on her)
this does not mean you should trust her or that you have to like her
trust must be earned, and "like" is personal preference
try to be civil
you probably can't stop her from working where you do
be nice, but you don't need to associate with her
tell your husband that just because you are forgiving doesn't mean that you are comfortable with her or with him with her.
tell your husband that you feel it would be best if you and he did not associate with her at all for now, this is a reasonable request
2006-09-06 14:13:44 · answer #9 · answered by enginerd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i replaced into engaged even as i replaced into 24 and married even as i replaced into 26 Our wedding ceremony hues were a light-weight peach and chocolate brown We each had our brothers as witnesses (2 total), it replaced right into a really small wedding ceremony (14 people were there which incorporates us and our reverend) Our reception replaced into held a month after our wedding ceremony, and we did no longer have assigned seating, maximum persons did not sit down, it replaced right into a dinner social gathering We had a small chocolate cake and then one of those cakes for persons to settle on, i imagine there have been 5 diverse options We went to Maui for 2 weeks We were given married in Gleneden coastline, OR, a tiny city on the coast, basically outdoors of Lincoln city
2016-11-25 01:27:18 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiving is one thing. Forgetting is another.
If once tempted, then there could be a second.
Being a Christian has nothing to do with it. As the good book says, "God helps those who help themselves"
Dont put it in Gods hands. Take it into yours and ask for guidance. If he gives you none, take it as permission to do what needs to be done.
2006-09-06 14:20:50 · answer #11 · answered by billydeer_2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋