2006-09-06 13:44:45 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all you have to realize that this is more common than not. Once parent divorce they completely loose their smarts. They feel they are in a battle to win you over to their side. They feel a need to lay the blame on the other former spouse. Each child deals with it in their own style. Usually the child winds up siding (or at least pretending to side) with the parent that has physical custody. (and for some reason the custodial parents thinks he/she has "won") You grew up in a family where you were the center of attention, now you have to live in a world where your parents are the center of their own little world. My advice is not play into their hands. Refuse to listen to their one sided narrative of how bad the other is. Remember they got a divorce from each other.. you didn't.
2006-09-06 13:59:44 · answer #1 · answered by lily 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You poor thing. This will never stop. If you are an adult, you can try firing back, being as dramatic, like if your dad says your mom's a **** you can say 'yeah, she says you're a ****' . You can try the more passive route and cry, telling them that all these rumors are hurting you. You can spread your own, tell your other relatives rumors about your parents, remarking that that's your new family tradition. I did all these things, they didn't work. In the end I just gave up, began ignoring it, and decided that was messed up stuff to subject your kids to!
2006-09-06 14:54:59 · answer #2 · answered by steelypen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them to grow up!!! They are both still your parents and it shouldn't matter what either of them say about each other, you are still going to love them how YOU want.
Sometimes it's a sad world when the child has to take a step up and act like a parent, but sometimes you just have to be the bigger person and let them both know how you feel!
Don't be afraid to do it, the sooner you do, the sooner they'll stop!
2006-09-06 13:52:07 · answer #3 · answered by rdhedhottie 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is really hard isn't it. because you love them both and just want them to stop fighting and they use you like a volley ball.
Or a punching bag. Dad always asked what is mon doing and does she have a boy friend? I say why do you care? You are divorced. Get a life.
then mon says well what did your father do? Like what? what was he suposed to do? We went and had chinese food and he asked me about school? He is very sad and alone and she is very sad and alone and all they do is talk about how bad the other one is. can't even talk to them anymore. They are the children and we are the adults.
2006-09-06 14:08:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would tell each of them that I loved them both and I hated it when they talk bad about each other and that neither one of them should say anything about the other unless it has to do with me or if it was something nice! I went thru this all my life when my parents got divrced but we did work it out, cause I told them how I felt about the situation!
2006-09-06 13:51:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately...both sides have grievances. Why in the world they think anyone else wants to know is beyond me. They get something out of it but I don't know what. They need to have someone else listen to them...so I guess they need all the attention they can get during this "rejection period" since they are not giving it to one another. It's misery for everyone else to bear..
Just come right out with.... "I don't want to hear about YOUR marital problems, they have nothing to do with me, I didn't create them, I can't fix them and you are both driving me bonkers with your selfish self centered hatred for each other."
It should shut them both up...for a while...so you will have to repeat your chastisement often...like a broken record.
Best of luck.
2006-09-06 13:54:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain to each of them that you love them both and feel hurt when they bad mouth their ex partners. Tell them how foolish and immature it makes them look as once upon a time they must have thought that the other rocked their world. It's a tough situation to be in and I wish you the best of luck.
2006-09-06 13:49:56 · answer #7 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't feed into it/acknowledge it. Let the rumor stop at you. Sometimes adults act like children. unfortunately you can discipline your parents...so child psychology should work. If you ignore their bad behavior they have no reward of attention and hopefully they will stop.
2006-09-06 13:49:19 · answer #8 · answered by ***Miss Ria*** 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would tell them individually that I love them both and that it upsets you to hear negative things about the other one. If your parents love you unconditionally, then they will see your side of it.
After all, they loved each other enough at one time to marry and have children.
2006-09-06 13:51:53 · answer #9 · answered by Kel 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell both of them that you love them & do not want to be caught in the middle. If one of them starts to say something negative about the other, hold up your hand in the "stop" mode & remind him or her that you are NOT going to play this game....
2006-09-06 13:48:14 · answer #10 · answered by from HJ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋