My mother in law always steals my sons and my daughters cloths. And she does what ever she wants to them . In the past month she has cut all of my sons jeans because she said they were no good because they had holes in them . I just called her up and asked her if she could ask me before cutting his jeans, and she said "well then , can you not bring him over to my house all messy". So to make a long story short , now my inlaws are all mad at me because they think that , that was rude about what I said. But to me I should be the one that is mad , he is my son , not hers. The only reason I put him in bummy cloths when he does go over there is because I no he will be playing , so why dirty good Jeans?
2006-09-06 13:37:00 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You have every reason to speak up politely to your mother in law, and it sounds like you were very direct but diplomatic. This is a boundary issue for her, because she has not let go of the fact that she is not the mother; she is the grandmother.
I would not change anything that you are doing as far as clothing. If she doesn't get you on this issue, chances are it would be another. You may have to repeat your position. If she keeps this up, just continue to repeat in a kind but asssertive tone what your wishes are. Don't let her provoke you into someone you are not!
Ideally your husband should step in and in all cases defend you.
Your manner seems best, to be calm and assertive without creating a brouhaha but also not allowing her to run your life.
Go go girl! Stay true to yourself!!! Your children are watching you as an example, so don't back down. ::sigh:: Why are mothers in law like this? It is so common.
2006-09-06 13:45:42 · answer #1 · answered by lynnemaria 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be a little upset, but it is nothing to harbor bad feeling over. When you look at the big picture and this situation, you will see that the problem can be easily fixed.
The next time you send your daughter/son over to her house, make sure that he/she has some nice clothes on and pack his/her favorite jeans so he/she can play in those over her house. If the problem still occurs; try to sit down and have a one on one with her.
Good Luck Shawty!
2006-09-06 13:46:19 · answer #2 · answered by dempseyville 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I wouldn't be mad. You have every right to ask that the clothes that YOU bought not be shredded. I would send my son to his father's house on the weekend and he'd come back with hand-me-downs from his new wife's other child. They would give my son's nice new clothes to the younger boy.
I was furious and I tried to talk to them and they got very defensive so I stopped sending clothes over. They could buy him whatever they wanted him to wear or they could put him in hand me downs. I wouldn't waste any more money.
So I guess I'm suggesting that you invite your mother in law to shop for the boy's clothes and leave them at her house so when he goes over she can dress him. Whatever she send him home in, send him back with next time. She can't complain she picked it!
Good Luck with the Grumpy Mom inlaw!
2006-09-06 13:44:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have every reason to be angry. It is your son. Those are the clothes you sent over for him to PLAY in to not ruin perfectly good clothes. And they should be old enough to understand. Remember, at some point the elderly start reverting back to child like behavior. I would say this is the case for your in-laws.
2006-09-06 13:43:06 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because maybe if the kids were dressed up a bit more, the inlaws would want to take them out to dinner, or shopping, whatever.
Next time you bring them over, just bring over a change of clothes that they could go out in, in case they don't spend the whole time outside playing.
2006-09-06 13:41:46 · answer #5 · answered by Avid 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ahh yes, the controlling MIL. She is guilty of commiting a crime, destruction of private property. Given that touchy issue, your husband needs to set his Mother straight on this not you. If he refuses or can't then stop taking the kids over there letting her know the reason for it. Kids play and a trip to grandma's house shouldn't require black tie clothing.
2006-09-06 13:42:51 · answer #6 · answered by webwench2005 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The in-laws have no right to alter the childs clothes regardless of holes. They should be thankful he lives close enough to visit, and be enjoying this time in his life rather than nit-picking over clothes
2006-09-06 13:41:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
send over naked say when your done i'll bring him home with cloths tell them that if your not happy with the clothes that you send Buy him some your self that way you don't have to mess his play clothes and if you do there your so do what ever you want i'm not going to aford clothes for you to ruin copy this then give them one
2006-09-06 13:45:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How is she getting her hands on your kids' clothes??? You may want to stop letting her babysit if she refuses to respect your things. She has NO right to alter your kids' stuff without your permission!
Is your husband on your side in this? He should be. Have him talk to his parents & lay down some ground rules with them. If they still won't show some respect, refuse to allow any unsupervised visits with the kids.
2006-09-06 13:41:18 · answer #9 · answered by from HJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Mother in law is oversensitive, and she also appears that she likes to be in control. You were not rude but sometimes is better to overlook dead of in laws for the good of family ties.
2006-09-06 13:47:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋