Should I wait for my boyfriend who is in the military and is currently stationed in another country?

Question

Me and my man have been together for about 18 months. We have not spent much time together b/c he is in the army. but I do feel that we love each other. I am not sure when is coming home or if he is being faithful...he is stationed in another country. I am in my late 20's...I know that if he comes home to me our relationship will be strong but I am not sure if he is coming back to me. Am I silly for waiting or should I risk losing the most wonderful man that I have known and now love, to see other people so I am not feeling like I am being played for a fool?

some asked about our communication. we speak at least once a week on the phone and email each other throughout the week. and my question has nothing to do with sex....I love this man but I am just uncertain as to if i should wait for him when.Its hard not knowing if he really is being faithful. I am an attractive woman so men are asking me out so I hope I am not waiting in vain

Answer 1

Ok, first of all, if you are going to be a military man's girlfriend or wife, you don't need to be thinking about him messing around if he is in another place. Because you are going to be one of the many that sacrifies your time with your man so that he can serve and protect America.

You need to talk to him and see where he sees the relationship.

If you don't think you can trust him, then you don't need to be with him. I am not saying just because he is in the military, he is not cheating. But if you don't trust him, even if he is at home, then you shouldn't be with him.

I know how it is. My husband has just came back from Iraq, after a 18 month tour. Just a little while before that he was in Turkey, and Germany. You get to thinking he must be getting some somewhere. But you can't think like that. If you are going to be with a military man, it takes a special breed of a woman, you have to completely trust them. If you can tough it out, and do it, you will not believe how much this will help that person to know that he has something to look forward to when he gets to come home, and a reason to make it home. And don't forget absence makes the heart grow fonder.

But if you ever get to where you are being made a fool of....get out of the relationship. Don't ever let a man make you play the part of a fool.

If you would like to talk my yahoo ID sweetpeachiebear. I would love to talk, and sometimes it helps getting someones point of view when you know that person has been there and went through what you are going through!

Good Luck!!!

I hope I spelled everything right, it won't let me spell check!

Answer 2

Like the song says "Everybody plays the fool sometimes". You didn't say how the communication is with this guy. Are you two talking to each other pretty regular? How long has he been gone? are there any children involved? If you really love him, then wait for him! You will never know if you just move on with your life. Remember, he's a man and men have desires just like we women do, if you feel like he loves you like you love him, maybe he will wait too. I'm in the military and have been overseas to Iraq. It's stressful enough being there not to forget scarey too! I know there are phones all over the place and internet cafe's so it's not like he's not able to contact you. Hope everything works out the way you want it to. Hard as it is, try to be patient.

Answer 3

I'm going to tell you from a personal experience. I fell for a soldier, and loving a solider takes great responsibility and a women with strength. A soldiers main responsibility is to be a soldier first, so above all if he's a good man work is coming first. They do tend to get into spontaneous situations but nothing really serious(I think) when they KNOW a good women is out here waiting for them. My soldier was stationed over sea's and sometime my imagination took me there about what he could or could not be doing while he was so far away.
But I loved him first and for most unconditionally. He wasn't able to come to be with me or his family after his duties over sea's cause he was admittedly deployed... And now half my heart is in Iraq. If anything a persons first need is to feel appreciated. And yes, we tend to put our heart into things that's not whats best for us. But that's why we live to learn. My solider had been in Iraq for 8 months before they let him come home. Then was only given 10days to be home with his family after we hadn't seen him for over 8 or 9 months already.
When he was able to come home, he used that time to make me his wife. Acknowledging that fact that " I'm the one that's been nothing but his love and support from afar with all my heart.. I understand that a man's going to do what they want to to regardless. Do your part... Two wrongs will never make it right. And if your not cutout to stand strong like the type of women a soldier needs then being with him is something you shouldn't try to do..
We were married August 7th he went back to Iraq August 8th.
And good luck to you both, and please lets not forget to Support our Troops know matter what the situation.............

Answer 4

this is really something that only you can decide, to wait on him or not. it sounds like you have some trust issues with him that maybe need to be worked out. also if you are as in love with him as you think you are, then i doubt that you would feel silly for waiting on him or worry about being played for a fool. just a few thoughts, best of luck to ya.

Answer 5

You know, I was in the same position when I was in the Army and stationed over seas. The woman I loved waited untill she found out that my tour of duty had been extended and then beleived people when they told her that I must have extended it myself just to stay away longer, anyone who has been in the military knows that they do what they want with you.To make a long story short, she found someone else and broke my heart. stick with it and it will work out, Good Luck

Answer 6

Your a little old to ask a question like that. You were taught right from wrong a long time a go. Do the right thing and wait !!!

Answer 7

Stay the course. Wait until he comes home. What's a few more months? It could be the best thing that happen in your life. You could just ask him.

Answer 8

If you love him and want to wait, I think that it could work. You have a strong connection to him. But if you are not sure, find out what you want

Answer 9

you need to have this talk with him. If he thinks you are being faithfull, then be it. If he just thinks you're a hometown bootie call then yes you are being a fool.

Answer 10

yeah, u should wait him .. + you still love him, aren't you ? & most probably u've made a promise to him for him to come back, so u gotta keep ur promise !