Hiya I am 31 years old and i am in a sexless marriage, my husband suffers from depression,i miss his closeness

Answer 1

What exactly is your question.....is your husband being treated for his depression, if not that is where you need to start. Does he know why he is depressed or is he just clinically depressed? The first place I would start is for both of you to start some kind of exercise that you both enjoy....it is unbelievable how much better mentally we feel when we exercise. If he hasn't been treated, he needs to get to a doc, so he can start feeling better along with you. A sexless marriage is a sure sign of something is very wrong! Good luck.

Answer 2

Hi sunflower. I am so sorry. But please believe me when I say that there is an answer for you both. The love that lies buried in the weight of his depression can be be brought back to life. I spent a lot of years as a very depressed girl. But now I am taking medication for it and I feel a lot better. And I have a bf so the sex part is good too. Just get your hubby to help. Whatever it takes, break this cycle. Don't go down with the ship! Bring the ship to a safe port. That's professional support and proper medication.

Answer 3

people who are depressed - are not themselves, depression plays tricks on the mind -including forgetting small parts of things, even in our recent past, people who are dperessed are on auto-pilot trying their best just to make it through the day and function. I had a family member go through depression and a breakdown, and this persons personality changed and was missing, and sometimes seemed vacant. Sometimes life just gets too much and we buckle under the stresses, demands and pressures, sometimes a hug is nice - other times distance is better, you never can tell from one moment to the next, sometimes you had to walk on egg shells around this person, other times they were very volatile, and others emotionally needy. I empathise with you missing someone who is no longer themselves - it really hurts, it tears at your heart, and you wonder how you yourself can get through the day under the burden of it all, I understand some of what you're going through. I found occupying the mind very helpful, whether its hiring dvds, using the internet, watching videos, playing board games/connect 4/ludo/snap simple games. I know you miss the closeness, and adult toys wont take his place, youve got to look after yourself as well, enjoy the afternoon out every now and again, se eyour friends, try to maintain a life for yourself, so your personlity doesnt disspear - good luck and god bless

Answer 4

I had serious post natal depression. My husband was wonderful.

Did you have a good marriage before this happened? If you did please stand by him you can not imagine how much he needs you. Be his rock.

Make sure he takes his medication and doesn't come off it until he is better. I wanted to be better so much that I tried this a few times. It only worked when I had recovered.

You will be close again if he seeks all the help he can get. Good luck, be strong

Answer 5

Ask your husband to seek help and reassure him that you will support him.If you still want your marriage to work put the sexual feelings aside and stand by your man.

You can start showing him that you miss his closeness instead of waiting for him to start.Maybe he feels unloved as well and needs this from you.Remember love is not a feeling it is an action.

I once heard that men express love with sex and women have the gift of sex.Use your gift but find out first what is causing your hubby's depression

Answer 6

Depression is bad for the libido. Not being able to have sex when you want it is also bad for you. You're in a difficult situation and no mistake. I'm assuming that you love him or at least used to and that closeness was something you used to share. If so, it can return but will probably take time. Meanwhile, he needs support but so do you. Contact Relate, the Relationship Guidance Service. You can go alone or as a couple, talk to them about anything and they have a high success rate.


http://www.relate.org.uk/

Answer 7

you sound depressed yourself and that wouldn't be a surprise living with someone with depression is bloody hard work is he on medication if not make him see the doctor anti depressants do work. if he has a reasonable day try to tell him how you feel but don't be over the top just gently tell him i doubt he'll see what you are going through and how lonely you feel cos he has enough to deal with the depression my heart goes out to you.i really do hope things get better for you both

Answer 8

First see if he will go to counseling and get on some depression medication. If he refuses, then you need to go to counseling for yourself to figure out where you stand with your marriage, what you want out of life and where you are going. You did not say if you love your husband. Do you?

Answer 9

Talk to him and tell him that. He should see his doctor regularly because it could be something else, something serious and if it is depression - why suffer when he can get help for it. I suffer from depression and we don't have sex as much as we used to, and my bf somet times gets fed up. I think that it is important to have that closeness, ask him what you can do for him to help him, maybe you can get close again.

Answer 10

you need more help than you can get here...Speak to your doc about your husband, but think about moving on and getting on with your life. You don't mention your age or if you have children (i.e. their ages and if you are working).
If your husband is depressed, then sex isnt the most important item on your agenda..,.I don't know you, so you either pin him down for a discussion or you pack up and move on. Your priority is to be safe...X