i am gay and want kids with my partner, why do so many people have a problem with it though?

Question

i am a gay women living in a world of equality. my partner and i would ;like to have children in the future, but even at this early planning atge we have come up against prejudice. even my own mother is not happy about it. why is it they cant be happy for us? we can provide love and support for the child, is ths not enough? why are people so against it?

Answer 1

think how the child will feel. never having a proper dad, having to explain this through their lives, bieng bullied at school.... you may accept who you are but that does not mean your child will or should have to.

Answer 2

This is NOT my opinion, but I have had this conversation a number of time with friends and this is what we've come to realise. Gay people having kids goes completely against nature and instinctly people will have problems with that. Every organism be it tree, wasp, shark or human are basically here on Earth to do one thing, reproduce. That's just not possible with gay people. Then again, another conclusion was that homosexuality is sort of natural selection, a way to control the world's booming population. Maybe, without realising it, that's why some people have such problems with it.

Like I said, these are not my opinions. I don't really think you should listen to other people. If you believe you and your partner can give a child all the love and support he/she needs in order to be a caring, loving, well-adjusted human being, then forget what other people think. I know it's hard, but you will have to be prepared for some harsh backlash and definite bullying of your child in school. I wish you the best of luck and hope your path to having a child is not too long and arduous.

Answer 3

I think there are a number of issues here.
Firstly, I don't believe we live in a world of equality, not just with sexuality but gender/race/ageism etc. We have it on our statutes but it is not always implemented.

Secondly, traditional values have been instilled in us since we were born, ie., stereotypical family, church on Sunday etc. I'm not excusing prejudice but a lot of people of afraid of potential societal breakdown....and basically, the world will change as they know it!

Thirdly, I'm sure your mother has been very accepting of your life and partner but may have reservations for example, unnatural conception methods, or maybe, she is just trying to protect you and grandchild from bigots? Like most mothers, she will have a lot of genuine concerns around the whole thing. Don't be too hard on her, I'm sure she'll come round in the end.

By the way, every couple (m/f, gay/straight) will have concerns, fears, hopes for their offspring.

I'm not trying to sound off putting but ignorance is everywhere.
If its something that you are both committed to and have support circle (family/friends), then go for it and I wish you all the best.

I also don't believe there is any basis for a child being raised by gay parents will turn out gay! If that's the case how did straight parents have gay children?

Answer 4

I am totally for couples, homosexual or not, who can provide for children physically and mentally to have kids. However, every single couple should think really carefully before making the big decision.

People are against the idea of homosexual couples having children mostly because of homophobia. This of course is an invalid argument. Being gay / bi / trans etc does not make the world a worse place. Hey, greenhouse effect does not get worse because the LGBT community grows larger.

Unfortunately, homophobia does exist on Planet Earth, at least at this current period. That makes many people's other argument worth thinking over - that the child will have to face extra pressure when growing up.

And then there are those usual considerations: money, time, family, love.

I understand that for LGBT people wanting to have kids, they have to face more challenges than straight couples. Nonetheless, if you and your partner are willing to take up such challenges, then go ahead, and I will be very happy for you.

Answer 5

You are dancing on dangerous ground. There are a lot of Christians on this web site so prepare yourself.
I'm with you, I think that gay couples should have all the rights that any other couples have.
The whole subject of Gayness upsets people because we are all told that its a sin, its disgusting and an abomination against God.
Blah Blah Blah...
The bottom line is that if you are Ok with your lifestyle then your kids will be too! Ive seen this time and again, regardless or sexual orientation. Love is enough for raising children and I hope that you and your partner get the family you want & deserve. Be strong and don't let anyone (not even your mom!) tell you that the way you live is anything less than perfect!

Answer 6

Only the people who have a problem with it will say so. Anyone who is fine with it probably won't be approaching you to say so. I don't see why people have such a problem with a couple who love each other having children to raise. What constitutes a typical family nowadays? If a single mom or dad can do it, why does two of one or the other matter? Why should anyone want to be "typical" if it doesn't mean love and security count the most? Why do others care so much about what doesn't affect or concern them? I say, live your life and ignore the ignorant. Good luck with the family!!!

I would also like to add that whether kids get made fun of at school is a stupid argument for having children or not. That's like someone saying, "my last name's Brownoser, I better not have kids because other kids will make fun of them". Yeah, many kids get bullied, or are bullies. Maybe if their parents were more tolerant....................

Answer 7

If you two want to be parents then go for it! Every parent gets put under pressure whether it how the child is or how they act and their beliefs. As an adult, it's your job to get the hell over that and do with what you want and know would be right.

Many people have "problems" with it due to the false propaganda brought to them by certain websites and certain people. The most common beliefs is that a gay parent will purposely try to "turn" their child gay, would sexually molest them, or are poor parents/human beings because, obviously, homosexuality = raging, molesting sociopath.

And there is the "but a family needs a mother AND a father" argument which is more crap than a dungpile. TONS of socially-well children grow up with only one family, a divorced family, et cetera.

Answer 8

Ignorance is a big part of it. Also, many people see the man loves woman and makes babies scenerio as the way it should be. For some, it's religion based, others they see it as a social norm.

Look how many single mothers provide love, support and nuturing for their child(ren). In my area, it's a little more common to see same sex parents and I feel there is no major problem with it. Same sax parents are going to have all the same disfunctions as regular parents.

No idea what the big deal is, and like others have said, you should do this without being bothered by what others think is best.

Answer 9

First off - I am sorry you are experiencing prejudice. I think people think that if two lesbians or gay men have a baby or a child that the child will somehow be affected by this - however, most psychological studies show that kids are treated normally despite this, they engage in regular activies, are of equal popularity statuses as other children and most children of homosexual parents are not influenced by their parent's sexual preference. Hope this helps.

Answer 10

Many people just have difficulty with change, by the next generation or two it will be perfectly acceptable. For example, the last generation thought that interracial marriage and childbearing was wrong, and now look at so many happy and successful couples there are. Don't be discouraged, those who work for change will make it better for your child's generation. Another factor many have is religion, but those who are extremely religious and closeminded will also be a minority soon. Best wishes :)

Answer 11

i think of it relies upon on the state and are available to a selection. Irregardless of sexual orientation, it in simple terms does not look good to deliver new enthusiasts around your little ones. whether you have been mutually for some months, it nonetheless does not look good. Plus, look at it from the youngster's attitude: they do no longer understand what's happened between mom & dad. Now mom is with you (possibly a great guy or woman), yet they do no longer understand the character of your "friendship." finally, you do no longer would desire to bypass away your female pal. You 2 would desire to communicate, set barriers (no PDA while the youngster's around), and you have have been given to lower back off while the youngster is around. If she is residing with you, she might elect to locate someplace else to stay. It kinda makes her look volatile if she's "bouncing" from her husband's abode (and hands) over to your's. You 2 will would desire to save your noses air purifier than a rapidly couple dealing with an identical undertaking because of the fact in reality that your sexual orientation and the character of your dating would desire to be a controversy in court docket.