cheating, lying, alcohol/abuse problems is when i would call it off, i am happily married and my husband exhibits none of these horrible things so I know we will be happy forever...just remember the old saying "its cheaper to keep her"
2006-09-06 12:10:37
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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Difficult one. I am there too.
Unfortunately, no one else can give you THE answer.
There is a lot that plays into it. First, all the "external stuff": the kids, the house, the common history, the financial links and you name it. Second, there is the "soft stuff": your values, what you believe in, how you feel in that marriage, the sort of links you feel you have with that other person, your fears etc.
Most people around me tell me I should end my marriage, based on various reasons. There is a lot inside me that tells me the same. But it is a journey until you get to the decision, and then act. No one can decide or act for you.
Good luck to you.
Sorry, your question was about pros and cons: well, I suppose you have this answer yourself.
Kids: trauma of the separation Vs showing them daily the model of a "wrong relationship": what's best?
House: find a new one, logistics, money, make it your own: ready for the move?
Social: some people care about their image, do you?
Stress: are you up for it? known as one of the most stressfull times in life
Been buried alive: if you stay and really can't stand it: are you ready to remain "dead" or "unsatisfied" for the rest of your life? they are pro and cons to both
Stay: you'll get more of what you have
Go: new start, with all the related stresses
Sorry, I keep sending questions back to you. But I suppose you are the one who knows when enough is enough. Hope that helps
2006-09-06 17:58:32
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answer #2
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answered by Claire 4
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There are steps you can take to actually build a strong, stable marriage and avoid divorce. Read here https://tr.im/OSRgn
Here are some key steps to apply to your marriage:
- Start by understanding and being informed.
You can never be too informed about tools, methods and studies about building successful marriages. Understand the risk factors like your age and maturity at marriage can determine how successful it will be, the anatomy of an affair and what you can do after infidelity. Understand the success factors like the personal and psychological circumstances that will influence your marriage, what are the tools and approaches available to you in dealing with conflict, and numerous other relevant data. All this information is readily available to you whether through self-help material, through a counselor, support group or other venues. In fact, we have made it our commitment to provide these to you in different formats to help you make the best marriage you can.
The thing is, remember, this is information is not available for you to begin hyper-psychoanalyzing your relationship, yourself and your partner. It's not a matter of spewing trivia for the sake of conversation ' information is there for you to ponder over and internalize to help you transform yourself and your marriage. That includes maturing to such a point that you become more competent in your knowledge but more prudent in approach.
2016-02-11 03:18:44
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answer #3
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answered by ? 3
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Just from my experience it was when I just knew that I would never be happy in the relationship. I had a very emotionally abusive husband, and the emotional abuse was starting to turn into physical abuse so I knew that I couldn't stick around to see what would happen. I knew in my heart that I would be happier crying myself to sleep every night from being lonely than having to take one more day of the misery I was in with my ex husband. It was by far the hardest decision I've ever had to make but also the most rewarding. I can't imagine what horrible things might have happened if I had stayed. Good luck with whatever decision you make. The part that makes it so hard is that there is something to love in every person.
2006-09-06 12:37:00
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answer #4
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answered by Monika S 2
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There is no concrete formula you can use to figure out when that point is. Thats a personal decision when you feel that there is absolutely way you can take anymore and want out. None of us out here could ever truly answer that for you nor do any of us really want to take blame for your marriage ending. You have to decide wether or not your marriage is worth saving or if its time to move on and be happy again.Only you know if there is still something left to rebuild your marriage on, because if there is no foundation, theres no house. Good luck
2006-09-06 12:36:13
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answer #5
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answered by Arthur W 7
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When you can't think of any more ways to fix it. You're past trying, there is no feelings for the other person, you are both miserable, you seem to be arguing all the time, and when your not you are living different seperate lives, you don't do anything together, and when you do it is out of obligation not because you enjoy spending time together. If there are children involved you would need to have a good hard think of what would be best for you all emotionally and financially.
2006-09-06 12:11:48
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answer #6
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answered by having_a_blonde_day_lol 4
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Christians believe that God created marriage.
If you want to know the true potential of any product you need to consult the creator of the product.Most creators have a manual for these products and from a christian point of view that manual will be the bible.According to the bible only because of abuse or adultery should you divorce.
Suggestion?Get counselling even if it is only you
2006-09-06 12:30:00
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answer #7
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answered by JUSEve 2
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I don't know. I feel I've reached the point of leaving but my faith gives me hope that my husband will change (he had an affair) so I'm going to walk down every avenue until I can honestly say I did all I could to make it work. I have been using a website that helps, it showed me where I was going wrong myself to contribute to his affair (although it doesn't justify him, what can?) so here is the link, please take a few minutes and check it out.
2006-09-07 02:07:17
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answer #8
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answered by good tree 6
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In my case, she has been spending away money while in training in the military far away, and we can't talk to each other very much, so it was hard trying to sort out things. finally, she just messages me to expect divorce papers. I tried to keep the marriage alive because I honestly love her, but now she's ruined my trust for her and her accountablility.
2006-09-06 12:41:15
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answer #9
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answered by zelgadiss 4
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You call it off when you have no trust left for the man/woman woman to whom you are married, are totally miserable, and have tried everything to find love again but just don't want the pain anymore...
2006-09-06 12:13:10
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answer #10
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answered by Angela 7
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