My husband is a great husband financially and a great dad, however he refuses to give me attention sexually. I am about 7mth's pregnant that last time we had sex was in February, this is when the baby was concieved. He has not touched me or made an attempt..
To make it worse he sleeps on the couch every single night.. I feel extremely lonely and I have mentioned it to him and it goes one ear and out the other. I even told him that I we should get counseling and he suggested that I go and not him. He does not understand that this a two way thing, we both need to go. I am sooooooooooo frustrated.. What more can I do? Could someone please give me some good advice... Thank you for reading....
2006-09-06 11:59:32 · 42 answers · asked by Vicky 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I feel your pain. I have a question though...did this start when you became pregnant or is this something that was happening before then? I know some men are not attracted to pregnant women...sad I know because if you are anything like I was your sex drive goes through the roof ...hormones....lol. If it was happening before then well it could be a lot of things. I have been in the same situation. If you would like to chat about it message me or send me an e-mail. Maybe we can help each other.
2006-09-06 12:27:10 · answer #1 · answered by just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I'm so sorry he's behaving like that. Right now you need lots of attention and cuddling and comfort. The least he could do is sleep in the same bed with you, it's not like you have a disease, you're pregnant with his child! I agree with the others, some men have this misguided belief that lovemaking will injure the child. Kinda scary and makes you wonder how far along they got in school, because unless the doc says otherwise, you can continue to be active all the way up to labor! What would he do if you got to the sofa first? LOL But anyway, talk to your doctor about what's going on and maybe at the next ob appointment the doc will bring up the subject with hubby. The more comfortable he gets in there on the couch, the harder it will be for him to come back to bed once the baby is born. He needs to see you for what you are, his wife, lover, and the mother of his children. If you cut out the "lover" part, he'll end up looking for that aspect someplace else.
2006-09-06 12:16:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is all this crap about being afraid to hurt the baby? I can tell you from frequent personal experience that all the pounding in the world isn't going to harm a baby in the womb. On another note, anyone who says that it is difficult to have sex with a woman who is 7 months pregnant should go get a book on sex positions or something, or just watch a porn with pregnant women. My wife was 7 months pregnant, sick, and probably only had 10-15 minutes between trips to Taco Bell and McDonald's, yet we still found a way to get our groove on. So, if you can't find a way, you probably weren't that interested in the first place.
2006-09-06 13:30:09 · answer #3 · answered by James A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can get his attention by masturbating right in front of him! I had to do this once and its all been good ever since.
If he refuses to listen to you, the whole pregnancy thing can be scary to a guy and most guys tend to pull away when they're unsure or afraid.
You might also try takin off for a while, go stay with a friend and let him see just what life would be like without u there
2006-09-06 12:06:45 · answer #4 · answered by jelli_bean_36 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
err....I didn't want to have sex with my wife when she was 7 mos pregnant.
It may not be because of your body. He may be worried about hurting the baby. I certainly was....plus, do you know how difficult it is to have sex with a 7 month pregnant woman?
I also slept on the couch alot during the last trimester. I don't know about you, but my wife had trouble sleeping through the night and was in and out of bed all night. It kept me up and I opted for the couch several nights just to get some sleep.
I'd cut him some slack.
2006-09-06 12:03:23 · answer #5 · answered by badotisthecat 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Trust me i am in the same boat. we didn't have sex but maybe 1 or 2 times during the pregnancy. Some men feel funny about it. THey view you as a mommy not a sexual object because of the baby between you. I would love to say it gets better, but here i am 3 months after delivery and he still sleeps on the couch. Good luck!!!! and if you figure out what works, let me know
2006-09-06 12:02:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Sorry, not enough information. How many children do you already have? Is he upset about your having this baby? You don't say . . . In any case, you two have to have a frank, open discussion. You're married, how can you not be able to talk to each other? I just don't get it.
If he won't even tell you what's wrong, my advice is to tell him that since he wasn't interested in seeing a marriage counselor with you, you will be talking to a divorce lawyer, and he doesn't need to come along with you for that. Maybe that will get his attention. I sure hope so.
2006-09-06 12:24:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you just sit down and talkw ith him. Ask him why he has completely withdrawn from you. He might feel an immense amount of pressure now that you will be having a new baby soon - that means more money and time and he could be taking is frustrations out on you.
If he refuses to go to therapy then go without him - at least you will be able to vent your frustrations about what is happening.
2006-09-06 12:16:22 · answer #8 · answered by OohLaLa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men are afraid of hurting the baby so they won't have sex maybe you need to ask you doctor in front of him if you can have sex and is it safe. Some men feel different with women after they have babys they look at women like a mom not a sex toy and talk to him and tell him you understand his fears about sex right now. He need to know he is loved too. so I hope this helps you can go online ask a doctor about it.
good luck
2006-09-06 12:25:40 · answer #9 · answered by black lady 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rather than telling him how you feel, have you asked him how he feels? Pick the right time to ask him though, not when he's just in the door from work, or it's late and he's tired. Stress that you're not nagging, you're just worried about him. How is his behaviour otherwise? As you say he's a great dad, presumably you are already a mum, and I'm guessing this didn't happen last time? What's changed since then?
2006-09-06 12:03:53 · answer #10 · answered by pompeii 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋