I am inlove with my best friend but he is gonna marry someone else. should I tell him how I feel or keep it to myself. I really want him bad, I want to be his wife, but I dont want to ruin our friendship either
2006-09-06 09:51:55 · 38 answers · asked by jamgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Girl I would tell him it could be the best! I would however, advise you that if things don't work out you should be prepared to deal with it if there is some arkward tension between you or he sever ties with you you shouldn't be too disappointed!
2006-09-06 09:56:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, your timing is really off - you could have mentioned your feelings at any point before this.
Let's face it, there's a reason you haven't dealt with this before now. How long have you known you felt this way? If a long time, ask yourself why you never did anything about it. If a short time, you might be under an infatuation because you're seeing your friend in a whole new light, as someone's husband.
Not yours, though. Presumably, he loved this other woman enough to propose and plan a wedding, and a future with her. No one forced him to do that.
If you really love your friend, you won't throw this on him now. If you were sure you were in love with him, and ready to spend your life with him as his wife, you'd be ready to tell him this and risk the friendship rather than be without him.
Is it possible that it's just that seeing him this way, in a relationship, about to settle down, makes you look at him in a new way? Fear the change in your friendship? Is it possible it isn't him you want, but someone with some of his traits?
You need to answer all of those questions before you even think about saying anything to him. If, after serious thought, you're convinced that he is The One Forever and you are also the best thing for him, and you'd rather lose his friendship than not tell him how you feel, then your course will be clear, but don't charge in and throw what should be a happy time for your friend into chaos unless you're absolutely certain.
2006-09-06 10:00:22 · answer #2 · answered by peculiarpup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have no power to "stop the wedding". It's HIS wedding, not yours.
Why didn't you tell your friend how you felt sooner?
In any case, tell him how you feel before it is too late in case he feels the same way.
You really don't have a choice about the "ruined friendship".
It's one of those all or nothing situations. You either tell him and risk everything or keep your mouth shut and regret it for the rest of your life.
2006-09-06 09:56:07 · answer #3 · answered by BoomChikkaBoom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT STOP THE WEDDING. DO NOT TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL. If you do, it will be out of selfishness. He loves another women enough to marry her. Be happy for him and move on. Also, it's probably not a good idea to remain close friends with him. It can only end badly, for you, or the other women. Life is not a romantic comedy and if you tell him how you feel odds are that it will only complicate you life and his. And it will not stop the wedding. Probably not what you wanted to hear, but I'm being honest. Please, move on. Easier said than done, trust me I know. But try, huh?
2006-09-06 09:58:41 · answer #4 · answered by Billy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No,, you have no reason at all to stop the wedding because, in the first place you did not have any mutual relationship at all.However, if you do really want him that bad..tell him so before the wedding.. If he loves you, he will be the one to do the otherwise. If not... accept the fact that you are not for each other.
And then and there you cannot and should not stop the wedding..
Good luck and GOD Bless.
2006-09-06 09:57:31 · answer #5 · answered by yulnores 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't interfere. it is his life to do with as he pleases. If he is getting married then he must love this woman. Your being selfish in even thinking about doing such a thing. Keep him as a friend, try and stop the wedding and lose his respect and friendship with you.
2006-09-06 09:57:50 · answer #6 · answered by Red 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I would tell them.
It may make for a really awkward situation but you should have said something a long time ago.
I want you to really reflect on yourself though and ask why now? Are you being selfish?
Do you really want to be his wife forever or are you afraid of losing him altogether?
Only you can answer the questions of you motive.
2006-09-06 10:14:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he felt the same for you he would have chosen you. While he may want to bang you after a night of heavy drinking, if he wanted to marry you, you would have the ring on your finger, not his Fiance. Stay out of it, go watch My Best Friends Wedding, and learn something.
2006-09-06 09:54:22 · answer #8 · answered by penwater1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should of steped up i the begining when you felt those emotions for him now to tell him i would think it would be best to say that you loved him but don't ruin the wedding because of your mistake. You should of told him earlier. now i know how that feels then you should tell him in privte before the wedding but not stop it remember you never told how you felt so what you feel now and never telling him is you mistake.
2006-09-06 09:56:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're going to say anything ever, say it now. Don't wait. You don't want to ruin his marriage later. Tell him how you feel, and then if he feels the same, he can call of the wedding, and if he doesn't, then he can tell you and you can close the door.
2006-09-06 10:10:52 · answer #10 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋