If we're happy with the person we're with, why do we look elsewhere?

Question

Ifeel sort of trapped. feel like i need to break free. a gap im my life.

Answer 1

Cause noone is ever perfect in our minds and we are always looking to have more in that person. So we look elsewhere to see those qualities that we think are not there.

Answer 2

Because some people are not contented or truly happy with what they've got. Remember they say we have unlimited wants, I think that plays a big part here. But it also depends on a person's outlook on life and their control in certain situations and the kind of principles that person upholds also. Anyone is capable of resisting temptation, but a lot of us don't think we can so we just go ahead and have affairs, cheat and that sort of thing. And the worst thing about people like these is that they're not happy. Not happy at all and it seems like they don't want to be either. Its all in the person's ability to determine for themselves whether they want to look elsewhere or not. Its a decision.

Answer 3

We look elsewhere because we only love with our emotions.When those emtions run low we are tempted to look elsewhere.But real love is not about emotions.

I believe real love is wanting to be with that special person and to make them happy.When they are happy and I meet therir needs I am happy.It is to serve them.I'm not talking about being a doormat here.

People will say looking is not touching but that hurts a relationship as well.Looking elsewhere is selfish because you only think about you and your needs.

That's why courtship(not fornication)is important before getting into a serious relationship.A person can only pretend for a time especially if they ain't gettin' nuttin'.You know what I mean

Answer 4

I think your real question is in the additional detail. It suggests that you aren't ready for a serious relationship yet. You obviously feel the need for more experience and this is fine - particularly as you have reached the conclusion and have admitted it to yourself. So it is only natural for you to start playing the field again. You should, of course, let your current one know how you feel so all is clear and you are free in every way to do your own thing. Enjoy yourself.

Answer 5

I think that if we are trully happy with the person we are with, then we do not look elsewhere. That is just a guess, because I am not deeply happy with the person I am with myself.
But I think that anybody who is happy enough does not look elsewhere. Or am I so naive?
If you are asking the question because it relates to your own situation, then you need to ask yourself whether you are truly happy with your partner. Just an idea.

Answer 6

There is a difference between looking and acting.

Looking can be enticing and stimulating. It's only natural. It enhances and validates what you already have.

Also, the person you're with will tell you, you are beautiful because they love you. Sometimes it's nice to hear it from a third party with no vested interest.

Answer 7

Your partner isn't meeting your needs and maybe that goes both ways, it's hard to say without details. You need to sit down together and sort out what you want. DO NOT under any circumstances have an affair, trust me I know how awful it gets. Please check out the web link which will give you a starting point for rebuilding the spark into your relationship.

Answer 8

:) being comfortable, and eventually stagnant, is gonna take a toll on ANY relationship, no matter how "perfect" it started out.

the reason is because a relationship takes Work. my theory is, u gotta take that love from the relationship, and use it to FUEL your ability to continue learning, teaching, and growing With eachother. that's the only way the relationship can withstand the negative things in life. if u are stagnant, not growing, standing still...when things come up and push u down, the relationship cannot stay up unless u Work it back to where it was. that is why, if u are constantly working on eachother to make the relationships Stronger, Better, More Positive, each day, it's harder to break.

here's my example: me and my boyfriend were happy on a straight line, horizontal line. but when he messed up, my happiness went down a little. and when he messed up again my happiness went down even more!! but he wasn't doing anything to work it back to where it was...so it wasn't growing. what we need to do, is be making eachother happy, in a Upward Sloping line....that way, when he messes up, my happiness might go down a bit, but because he tries to keep it growing, my unhappiness isn't as big of a toll on the relationship.

**this is from experience..i am going thru it RIGHT NOW. i've been trying to grow myself, keep myself accountable, take care of him as much as possible, take care of his family and friends, etc etc....but he hasn't been doing the same for me, and we realized he was taking me for granted. he is a great guy, but wasn't doing his part, which was stopping our relationship from growing. he needs to meet me halfway, if he wants this to work! cuz i know what i am worth, and i know that i make sure that i do as much as i can for him. therefore, i deserve the best too. :)

Answer 9

Some people are afraid of intimacy, have a fear of commitment.
Others just think the grass is always greener on the other side.
Still others simply don't know what they hell they want so they dabble in more than one relationship.

Answer 10

Ah, there is such a big difference between LOOK and GO, isn't there. I know of no one that has been hurt by the looking, but so many by the going. To look is nature. To go is just not nice. Good luck