Why do you do what you do? Serious answers only, please.?

Question

I am a bi female with very little past exposure to gay culture. I had a few close friends in high school who were gay, but that has been 15 years ago. I have on occasion attended activities held by the nearest Lavender Women’s group, but my schedule does not allow very active participation. Mainstream media and entertainment have a lot to say about GLBT culture, but the people I know do not fit the stereotype (butch, flaming, flamboyant, lisping) as portrayed by these.

What I am wondering is, whether you are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, do you act in a manner that comes completely naturally to you or do you think society’s opinions, images, and biases concerning gay culture have any impact (for better or worse) on how you act?

Answer 1

this is a really good question. when i first came out, i wondered how anyone else would know that i was gay. i was really happy to be out and i cut all my hair off (oh... did i mention i'm a girl??) and bought carpenter pants and all that. but it's not really me, so after a "phase" of trying out what i thought might be attractive, i relaxed and did whatever i felt was what I wanted to be. some music i listen to is "gay man" music, even though i'm a woman... and even though i'm a woman who looks boyish, i'm not butch... meaning, at least for me, i'm not a person who likes to be tough and in control... i'm not very assertive! although, i could use a bit of that in my life...to be honest, when i go into a gay bar, i usually turn the heads of some of the guys!! but, hey... i'm me. i don't mind.
after talking way too much about myself... i'd say that mainstream media focuses on gay characters that COULD exist in real life, but they are more like an amalgamation of all of gay culture. i think writers sort of pick and choose what from gay culture is A) know by mainstream straight people, and recognized as a sign of gayness and B)socially acceptable. i think it's good to have gay characters on t.v, but i think putting the spotlight on real gay people who do important things in the world would be even better.

Answer 2

I'm pretty confident in saying that I think it's a combination of both acting as our own individual self as well as an influence by culture. We have our own thoughts, feelings, opinions, and ideas, but our environement also affects our behavior. For example, in some countries it's perfectly acceptible to eat dog. The average American, however, does not because it's not a part of our culture and we view dogs as pets, not food. Therefore, we behave on that topic based on what is culturally acceptible. Eating dog is not, so people here don't. When people do, they are seen as immoral, disgusting, even cruel. So I think no doubt our environement affects us to some degree on how we act and think.

I do my damndest to act like myself. I do not fit a lot of gay stereotypes, but I find a lot of gay guys my age do. So in essence, I'm unusual in that respect. I'm proud though to be myself and stick out from the crowd in positive ways. There are parts of myself that could be considered very stereotypical. I like interior decorating and fashion for example. Yet I also enjoy very unstereotypically gay things like all things auotmotive related and architecture. I am who I am. Thankfully though I'm not a walking stereotype. I would think life would be so hard to be like that, for the unlucky ones that are, whether by choice or not.

Answer 3

I'm not sure if this is answering your question or not but here is my two cents worth.

I act the way I do because I am a very private person. I do not feel the need to share my personal life with the entire world.
And when I get on sites/sections like this, I am very selective as to what I answer. This is not to say I disagree with those that are very open with their sexuality in terms of their communities and such. It just isn't for me. I'm not out to change the world. I'm just trying to get through it as best I can.

As I said, please don't think I'm not a supporter of gay rights. I understand what you are fighting for and I respect it tremendously. For those of you that are taking to the fight I commend you.

In the end, I'm hoping we all get what we are looking for. Peace, love and happiness.

Answer 4

I think that's a good question. I act like me. We all have feminine and masculine traits. In our culture men are supposed to be tough & macho, showing no emotion. I think gay men just don't cave into the "macho" schem of things so they are tagged as flamboyant. It's like I really love the color pink and I'm really ok with that. I don't know how many straight men would even say they like pink...even if they did.

Answer 5

I personally don't give a steaming f*ck about what people think. I act the way I want, which is polite, quiet, and very comfortable in my own skin. You're right, the media - and some very embarrassing homos - make it hard for the rest of us to go about our lives, but for the most part, I just act like me, and my girlfriend loves that. She loves that I'm not ashamed of who I am, but I don't make myself look ignorant either.

Answer 6

I would like to say that I pride myself on not needing to wear a gay or straight label. Yeah I am in a loving and monogomous relationship with a man and know in all probability I won't share that kind of love with a woman. However I don't feel I need to conform to any kind of stereotype. Yeah, I might listen to a bit of Cher, but I can't stand Madonna. I find men who are really effeminate in an insultingly camp way, not my cup of tea. Much as I find butch dykes with an attitude to match, the kind of person I would prefer to avoid. However as much as I respect my own individuality, I respect that of others and honestly believe we are trying to express ourselves in our own ways and need to be allowed to do that whoever that might sometimes offend. Therefore to a certain degree society shapes who all of us are whether we choose to swim with or against the flow. I guess the real answer lies in whether you can honestly go to sleep at night comfortable with whom you are. If not the only person who can solve that is you.

Answer 7

I do act in a manner that is totaly natural for me, I don't wear masks, put up fronts, or try to behave in a way that society thinks I should. I just do what makes me happy.

Answer 8

I do sometimes act to annoy. It's my little bit of vengeance after having suffered years of abuse, self-doubt, etc. It's also deliberate because I want to break down stereotypical images of role behaviour. I look like a macho male, but what comes out of my mouth is sometimes pure *****.

Answer 9

My father-in-law, my partners, father,sorry--we're canadian..marriage is legal..trying to 'un'confuse you.....anyway he once said to me that you reach a certain age you don't care what your neighbours think....(he was a great crusader for gay rights--he was straight)....I think that I have reached that age....I'm just who I am...I don't try to be anybody else...no more/no less---what you see is what you get. I think I often surprise straight people because I'm so straight looking/acting(whatever that means)..but I don't care about societies opinion. This is simply me.

Answer 10

I act the way I do because I been stuffed in a closet by people who hate and if I had my way I be out getting some. I hope that answers your question............