My husband and I were (or so i thought) happily married. And just recently he told me that he had deep feelings for my daughter.Who is 17 but will be 18 in less then a month. My daughter apparently has these feelings as well. And come to find out that they've been having sex for over two years. And she admits that it was her idea. Now she wants to move in with him. And i don't want to let her. I don't want him near my daughter. Is there something i can do to prevent this. Keep in mind she is almost 18. Please help me.
2006-09-06 09:04:38 · 64 answers · asked by claire c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
no its not incest. He was her STEP-father.
2006-09-06 09:07:36 · update #1
I've actually seen this happen twice in the 50 years I've lived on this street.
Each one of the men involved was a step-father to the young girls they got involved with.
The first instance (when I was a teenager myself), had the step-dad getting his daughter pregnant. She went to have the baby at a home for unwed mothers, and never saw her family again. The marriage didn't break up in the two more years that family lived in that house, but I wouldn't be surprised if it did after they moved.
The second time, a man moved into a house in the neighbourhood with his new wife and her 16 year old daughter. When the daughter turned 18, the dad announced that he was going to live with just the daughter now, and the mom could leave. That ended up in a huge screaming match out on the street, but the house was bought in his name only, so he got to keep it. The dad lived there with his daughter as his wife for another 15 years. Five years into the relationship they started having kids. They ended up with two daughters. Then, suddenly the house went onto the market 2 years ago, and the dad was nowhere around for the 4 months the house took to sell. It turned out that the daughter turned wife was never able to forget how her "dad" would come on to her sexually when she was young. So she made sure to question her daughters. "Daddy" was starting to pull the same tricks again, with his own kids. And Daddy had gone on the run before she turned him in to the police.
Leopards don't change their spots. Once a man has started fooling around with his "daughter" whether she is of his blood or not, he has given himself permission to do this always, and WILL NOT STOP.
2006-09-06 09:18:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all..I would have already put some serious action to this case. He is a "Pedophile" and you should have reported him IMMEDIATELY ! He is a SICKO ! And your daughter..after I whipped her ***...excuse me but this makes me sick and angry..
I would have taken her wherever you take a "Sick and Out of her mind" teen. first, he is the jerk that is an adult and can't get away with this "She made Me" bull...and she is not capable of choosing plus she has no respect for you as her Mother or for herself...so she needs some help ! some counseling...now suppose she comes up pregnant..you better check her out right now ! And you should move "Fast" like right away and get him and her reported BEFORE she turns 18...I would "Rock both of their worlds" and teach that Pedophile a good lesson...he probably has screwed up some other kids lives before and will again IF he is not stopped. This is where you can make a difference. Don't feel sorry for yourself..you should have had some warnings anyway. Make a move and save her from this Pedophile NOW !
2006-09-06 09:19:32 · answer #2 · answered by GRACE 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Once she's 18, there's nothing you can do about it.
As far as statutory rape as others have suggested, it's a long shot because in most states consenting age is 16, and even in the other states it's rare they will prosecute for a consenting 17 year old.
Basically, not much yo can do about it.
Sorry, but this whole scenario makes me wonder about your mothering skills. How is it our daughter has such low self esteem, and an amazing lack of judgement or common sense? And what did you do to her that would make her hate you so much as to do this to you?
2006-09-06 09:33:33 · answer #3 · answered by mrpeabody 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Call the cops. Call Child Protective Services. Check his background. Does he has a record for sex crimes?
I think you have some time to press charges for statutory rape. Don't wait though. Once she is 18 you have a lot less latitude.
Sounds like you are better rid of him tho. I guess you love your daughter. . . Know that something is wrong with her or she wouldn't be hooking up with a man that is so much older than her. She needs some help.
2006-09-06 09:15:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you should contact the authorities, local, state, gov't law. Next contact your local news station tell them that they'll have a story. They'll eat up the public exposure of what happened. That's your child too. To know about something going on a not report it is your fault as well. TheFather can be put away, and the child will live with you until she's 18. Once 18 legally you can't stop her from doing anything. So get to court while she's 17.
thanks for asking
2006-09-06 09:11:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well by law, you can prevent it until she is 18 b/c she is still a minor. It could be possible to bring charges against him since thay have been having sex for two years which means she would have been 15 when that started. Since sex with a minor is illegal, you can probably press charges and get him in some kind of trouble. Anyway, if that doesn't work, she will be able to do what she wants when she is 18 and there will be nothing you can do to stop it......
Good luck to you in your trying time.......
2006-09-06 09:07:38 · answer #6 · answered by wunluv06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they have been having sex for 2 years then he is a child molestor under the law and I would file charges on his sorry butt! You have my sympathy as I know you are terribly hurt. Your relationship with your daughter willnever be the same and I suggest you get some counseling. What about your daughter's father? Does he know about this? Due to her age there isn't much you can do but do call your local district attorney and see about filing charges. Also, get a good divorce lawyer to protect your interests.
2006-09-06 09:17:08 · answer #7 · answered by Proud to be an American 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is some messed up stuff. Sorry. At 18 your daughter is a legal adult. There is nothing you can do about this part, however you can press charges because for the last few years he has been having sex with a minor. It's statutory rape.
2006-09-06 09:08:15 · answer #8 · answered by WEIRDRELATIVES 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well talk to her and try to make her listen but she is almost 18 and you vant really do anything. But you should tell her that you are her mother and how can she lose that respect for you. If she doesnt give in then let her go when he finds someone younger she will come back to you but dont close the door on her be ready ok. Good Luck.
2006-09-06 09:07:52 · answer #9 · answered by Happy Mommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your man has been looking after your daughter for more than ten years and brought her up as his own then this is illegal, and she must have been 15 if she has been having sex with him. your husband is obviously very weak with the opisite sex as it doesnt matter if your daughter coaxed him into it, she was a minor so your husband could be charged for it and put on the sex offenders list, i would speak to the police about this if she was underage and also think you could benefit from speaking to a counselor as you so upset over this and you dont want to make yourself ill especialy if you have other kids at home? hope you get this resolved?
2006-09-06 09:12:13 · answer #10 · answered by TRACY M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋