My wife is big-boned?

Question

It's not her. It's some of my family and friends, and especially my co-workers. I can't stand it when she brings lunch to me at my job, and they start talking about her and laughing and teasing. I think it is so disrespectful, not only to my wife but to me as well.

My wife is self-conscious sometimes, and I really get upset when people start laughing and staring at her while we are trying to eat together at a resturarant sometimes. I wish people would lay off with their stereotypes of the average "obese" person.

Personally, I think she is the sweetest and most beautiful person in the world, but when she gets really down she starts eating again even heavier. How do I stop the employees from poking fun of her?

Answer 1

You can't stop ignorance and that's a fact. However, if these people are your co-workers you might just have a one on one with a few of them and state the obvious... the fact that their behavior is not only unprofessional but hurtful and insensitive.

Now, your wife should seek counseling for her eating disorder... because as sweet as she may be eating when you're upset is unhealthy and if you love her you'll need to make sure she takes care of her health. Big boned is no excuse for over eating. Truth be told... most people are not big boned, but over weight, especially in America. Since you love her so much try encouraging her to go on walks with you. You can start by going on walks every other day for 15 minutes... work your way up each week by 5 minutes. Change your diets together, stay away from fried food, processed foods, sugars, sodas and all unhealthy snacks and treats. Don't focus on food so much, because seriously... It's not that deep. Each time she's feel upset or self conscience have her promise you that she'll find a positive activity like going for a walk, or going to visit a elderly neighbor or friend that needs company, or any other activity that takes the focus off of herself.. You may not be able to change society perception of overweight people, but you can do something to help her with her issue. Obesity is extremely serious and it's not cute or healthy and it certainly should not be encouraged.... regardless of how you feel about her. It's dangerous and it's a disease.

Through counseling you both may discover some really interesting things that may have helped to contribute to her obesity, and why she eats when she's upset or self conscience. Gaining weight to the point of obesity can lead to among other things heart failure, clogged arteries, strokes, high blood pressure, and other related diseases. That coupled with stress is not a good thing. These diseases (not to mention death) will not care how sweet or beautiful she is and you'll not be able to protect her from that unless you accompany her when she seeks help. Start an exercise and fitness program with her.... it will not only bring you guys closer, but it will also help to become a good resource for releasing stress and working toward a goal of being healthier. You want the love of your life to be there for you.... then the behaviors and relationship to food MUST change... quickly.

Answer 2

The first thing you will need is a spine. No way in sands hell am I gonna stand for anyone making my hubby feel self-conscious or disrespecting him and I know about it.

Stand up for yourself. Speak out! Tell your co-workers that you will not stand for them disrespecting your wife and even if there is not backbone behind the statement, say it like you mean it.

Answer 3

Stop taking that crap from them. Tell them in no uncertain terms that you won't allow jokes or teasing about your wife any longer. She deserves that much from you as her husband, and you'll feel better about yourself as well.

Answer 4

My baby said if I ever got big he would love me the same---and he did-good man--just keep telling her she is beautiful and loving her the same and she will find peace in it eventually and start losing weight--he drove me to the gym---getting thin is all about getting to a safe place in life--and as a husband you can lay and stay the groundwork- the rest is up to her- welcome to til death do us part--but truly-a happy wife is a healthy one---

Answer 5

grow some guts and tell them straight out that their nasty comments about her are un-necessary and hurtful to her and you.

You can also take her to a nutritionist and help her plan a healthy diet, eat the same as her, exercise with her and support/encourage her as much as u can,

My husband has done along the same lines for me and it means the world to me, as does he.

You are a rare man/husband and the he** with your co workers!

Answer 6

You are a very nice man. I am so sorry that you are surrounded by such rudness. I hope someone can post the right thing to do.
Good Luck.

Answer 7

Buy her a treadmill. She will love you for it. Tell her to lay off the Doritos and Debbie Cakes.

Answer 8

The next time you hear them saying something, walk right up to them and tell them how offensive they are and how much they've hurt you. Just call them straight out to their faces without being offensive yourself, and they'll feel like jerks.

Answer 9

Have you told them to "SHUT UP"! Tell them that you will ripe their heart out if they so much as say a word again. Seriously though tell them what you just wrote here, and that you will NEVER again listen to it. Good luck.

Answer 10

You can't. Just make sure you treat he extra special when they start. Maybe when they see that you thinks she is great they will quit teasing her. If they tease her to you then I would tell them you don't appreciate it. That she is your wife and you love her just the way she is and if they can't accept that and her that maybe you can't accept them and their prejudice.