My friend has been with his wife for 2 years and married for one year.
He just found out she had a one night stand with her co-worker.
He is very religious so he doesn't want to divorce, instead he wants to work on their relationship and move on. He would like to start a family in a year since they have no children now.
Do you think this is possible?
Do you think a marriage can last and be HAPPY after one of the spouses has cheated.
2006-09-06 09:02:29 · 17 answers · asked by HappyHippo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's not about me. If my wife (or I) cheated we would divorce. We agreed it was not okay in a marriage.
2006-09-06 09:13:16 · update #1
It's possible, but it takes a lot of work. If she is not sincerely contrite, willing to come completely clean, and willing to change, there's no chance.
2006-09-06 09:09:04 · answer #1 · answered by Otis F 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Happy ever after, yes it's possible! But the one who was cheated on has to forgive, I mean really forgive. it can never ever be discussed again...it has to be forgotten! erased from their mind..Can your friend do this? He will never ever be able to bring it up again. Can you trust her? Can he himself loving her as much as he did before the one night stand? If not, then no, it's possible. He's going to have to forget, trust, and love her like this never happened.
Is his wife sorry? I mean does she realize that one night stand could have destoryed the man's life. That only by his love for her and his beliefs are keeping him from kicking her to the curb. She's very very lucky to have such a man. Does she appreciate that fact? Or does she think that it wasn't no big deal...Her attitude toward the affair is a big question. If they don't fix the problem, and there was a problem for her to go off and sleep with someone else. I would suggest counceling, most definetly. because this could happen again if they both don't face the issues! Talking talking talking and more talking, they have got to be able to talk.
I know a marriage can survive, and if you are lucky enough it's actually strengths the marriage. The old saying "you don't know what you have or you don't appreicate it till it's gone" is truth!
My parents have been married for 50 years, and my Father nearly through it away for a one night stand. But, they act like newlyweds, more than me and my husband...ha I am jealous!
So, as a friend stand beside him, be ready for him to take her back, wish him well, and be there if it happens again...be a true friend no judging, no well I told you so's.....I certainly hope things work out for your friend, he's lucky to have such a caring friend in his life....
God bless us all..................
2006-09-06 16:39:03 · answer #2 · answered by totallylost 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am proof that a marriage can work out, and you can lead a VERY HAPPY life after being forgiven! I cheated on my wife 8 years ago, WORST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE! Needless to say I was wrong in what I did. Long story short, my wife forgave me and I have NEVER cheated on her again. We now love each other very much, have two children, and she trusts me completly. If you have anymore questions or If I can be of more help to your friend feel free to e-mail me.
2006-09-06 16:56:44 · answer #3 · answered by Archangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES! But not on your own. Remember marriage is not just between 2 people it is between 3. Husband Wife and God. You said Your friend was religious. My husband and I were divorce and remarried. Everyone needs to grow up and we are all still made of human flesh. A mistake is one thing doing it again and again is no longer a mistake and needs to have consequences. We will be praying that things will work out and that God will bless you as much as he has blessed us. Email us.
2006-09-06 16:16:00 · answer #4 · answered by tim and grace 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there's any good reason for cheating...
but let's draw a scenario... spouse drinks.. someone puts something in the drink.. then the person doesn't remember anything .. but it turns out there's a one-night stand.. I believe that would be the only scenario that cheating.. would be forgivable... otherwise.. no...
- could be really a one off... but the women needs to straigthen her attitude out..
2006-09-06 16:27:03 · answer #5 · answered by Lyne B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For me, the marriage could not last. If my husband cheated, I would not be able to trust him and I would have to get divorced - just for my own sake. There is nothing he could say or do to change my mind - that is a mistake that is simply unforgiveable in my book.
2006-09-06 16:14:07 · answer #6 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If two people are mature and know what a marriage takes, yes, but both parties need to know how to communicate, compromise, trust and be honest, be able to give as well as take. Give emotional and moral support and I'm sure there are more things that are needed, just haven't experienced them yet.
2006-09-06 16:18:22 · answer #7 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on the couple. Some I know have worked it out and seem happy. I would never be able to do that. I'd be gone so fast you'd see nothing but taillights in the distance.
2006-09-06 16:40:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anythng is possible when someone wants it bad enough. If both of them are willing to give 100% then yes it will work. Now I am not saying that there will be rough times where he will remember it but I am saying if they both want their marriage to work and they both want to get past it and start their family then it will happen.
2006-09-06 16:07:47 · answer #9 · answered by tiggerluvnmom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe it can last if she is truly sorry for what she has done.every one makes mistakes, if he want it to work he need to get to the bottom of it and find out why she cheated because if he dont she will do it again. and also with the help of counseling because you can forgive but you may never forget.
2006-09-06 16:49:09 · answer #10 · answered by debbie s 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋