OK, I WANT TO KNOW WHY WHEN A GUY IS CHEATING ON HIS WIFE, EVEN IF HE ADORES AND LOVES HIS WIFE, IF HE DECIDES TO CHEAT OR TALK TO OTHER WOMEN WHY DOESNT HE TELL THE OTHER WOMAN THAT HE'S MARRIED AND/OR HAS KIDS? IM THE WIFE NOT THE OTHER WOMAN!
2006-09-06 08:39:14 · 15 answers · asked by ya girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A cheater is a liar so the truth wouldn't be in him to tell it. When you cheat you can't truly love and adore your wife when you do things that you know would hurt her.
When you lie about being married or having kids what your doing is taking steps to insure you get with this person whether it means downplaying you being married or having a family and that's where I would draw the line.
Whatever you do out in the street don't disrespect the home further by denying the existence of your family in order to get with another woman.
Again, adoring and loving someone is just the opposite of lying because lying is disrespectful and causes pain and when you cause pain it don't feel loving or adoring.
When you are willing to lie to the other woman it seem like you are more concern about the feelings of the other woman and what she knows than placing emphasis on what your family would feel about your cheating.
2006-09-06 09:01:11 · answer #1 · answered by words from the heart 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all WAKE UP!!! He does NOT love and adore his wife AND cheat on her...the two just can NOT coexist, they don't go together. How exactly do you define love in a way that includes sleeping with someone else, lying, betraying your vows, your children??? I think you need to come up with a new definition. Secondly he lies about it to the other woman because she might not sleep with him if he tells the truth and thats what its all about. That man values his penis and its 'conquests' more than he does his wife, his marriage, his family and that woman is simply a sperm repository...nobody is anything more to him than that and if you delude yourself in to believing they are you are a fool. How on earth could you convince yourself that he could possibly love his wife???? He just doesn't want to get taken to the cleaners in a divorce settlement!! I'm sorry for your situation but honey you really need a reality check. Since he doesn't have the guts to say it I will....HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU (and even if in his wharped way he does claim to love you is this really the way you want to be loved????) Once someone shows you their character you need to believe it, accept it, and realize that is the truth of who and what you are dealing with, fooling yourself about it just makes you a fool.
The first thing to do in a situation like this is realize there is a pattern to the healing process, first there is a lot of anger, second there may be a period when you have sex with your partner a lot in order to 'stake your claim' or win your partner back, then the real affects of what has happened set in and thats when you know whether it is something you can deal with or not. I didn't realize this and made mistakes and big decisions while still going through this process and they turned out to be the wrong decisions. I feel that if I had known about this pattern I could have seen things more clearly.
As far as continuing the relationship or not you first need to determine whether or not getting over it is something you should do. I saw 7 things that can help you determine this:
Is it an isolated incident or a pattern of behavior? (including past relationships, even if its the first time he cheated on you has he cheated on other gf's)
Does he own it (take full blame) or does he make excuses for why it happened?
Does he REALLY grasp the damage he's done to you and your relationship or does he just pay it lip service?
Is he sorry for the choice he made or sorry that he got caught?
Is he willing to do what it takes to clean up the mess he made, whatever it takes and however long it takes? or does he want to deny it and move on?
Is it out of character for him or is he insenstive about other things too? (respects your feelings, treats you with dignity, etc)
Is it a legacy or a new behavior? did he grow up in a family where this happened? if its what he learned thats a big clue.
Once you've gone through these and IF you determine that the answers all favor a successful relationship then you take it one day a at a time, if its a history or a pattern you leave and realize that it is the idea of the relationship that you 'love' and not the reality, surely you don't define being loved as someone that devestates you emotionally and doesn't care that he did. you have a lot of thinking to do, but don't worry it WILL get better and you will be ok, provided that you move on and find something better for yourself! Stay with him and you will just spend your life devestated over and over again and don't you think you deserve better than that?
2006-09-06 08:48:49 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uhm speaking from both sides I agree but i have only had one "will i was single" not tell me the others i knew where, or they told me they were some females don't care (not one of them) i do care i feel if they are truly "unhappy" as they clam they need to work it out with the wife or leave! i can say i did sleep with 5 married men 1 i had no clue 1 was separated (so he clam) 1 was already filing for divorce! 1 was unhappy and "trapped" trying to leave but didn't have the heart to us sleeping together was an act of passion in the moment we were friends and it happened neither are proud of it wished it wouldn't have been while he was married! the other was god knows what and a very big regret!!!!!!!!
2006-09-06 08:49:21 · answer #3 · answered by loriaburton 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it counts, but whenever I'd look for a girl since being married, I'd tell her I was married, but then again, I was always looking for a threesome with my wife, so she would have found out sooner rather than later anyway.
Actually, come to think of it, that is a funny thought in my head... Pick up a girl, bring her home, strip each other as we make out headed toward the bedroom... "Um, who is that woman in the bed?" "My wife... didn't I tell you, this is going to be a threesome?"
2006-09-06 08:44:36 · answer #4 · answered by Sean J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
becuz some people have moral issues, and would never want 2 be the reason 4 a family breaking up. so men/women will lie r not tell that back home is a family.
2006-09-06 08:43:36 · answer #5 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because he has no plan on leaving the wife, and he doesn't want the other woman to even know one exists. That way he is able to kep you two from ever meeting if he plays his cards right.
2006-09-06 08:45:11 · answer #6 · answered by InternetPosterChild 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because most women have morals and will have nothing to do with married men. So he has to lie to get them in bed.
2006-09-06 08:46:05 · answer #7 · answered by ryan_horak 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because most women won't have anything to do with a married man
2006-09-06 08:43:03 · answer #8 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
good one. they lie because most women will not date or sleep with a married man.if he adores you and loves you he wouldn't be cheating on you.
2006-09-06 08:44:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are sexual beings but men cant help it. Man cheat with their eyes, women cheat with their heart.
2006-09-06 08:44:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋