What to do when you feel this way?

Question

I am so torn. I have this friend, and he is the best friend anyone could ever have. Always there for me. Called him first when my Uncle died. He saved my *** when someone tried to come into my apartment and attack me. We fight, but it never lasts more than an hour or two at most. He is one of the sweetest most caring people I know. Now here is the kicker. Do I tell him how I really feel, or just be happy that I have such a great friend and not screw it up. We are like 2 peas in a pod, always together. We have the same interests for the most part, definitely like doing the same things. Everyone I know comments that if we don't get together there is something wrong with the world, because we may not be a "couple" but we sure act like one. Apparently right down to the old married couple kind of banter between us. He even slipped up one night when we were at a party and had had a few drinks and told a married friend (in jest) that his wife should be a better wife like me. ????

HE IS NOT MARRIED!!! I don't know what gave you that impression. He is completely unattatched. In fact we are going away on vacation in 3 weeks.I said he said something to a married friend of ours not that he was married.

Oops possibly an important detail. We are not from the same country. And in fact not even living in either of our home countries. I am from Canada and he is from New Zealand and we are living in South Korea. Both of us are teachers here, and he is looking into getting a job at the school I currently work at. So if one of us were to leave we would be a world apart in the end, not just around the corner as you would be with most best friends.

Answer 1

Go with your heart. Tell him how you feel.

I was friends with my husband for several years before we dated.

Answer 2

I have actually been in your shoes. The thing is....revealing your true feelings can go one of two ways.

I personally had married (and divorced) my best friend. We fell in love with each other and did even know how the other felt. I was too afraid to risk loosing his friendship for a relationship that could possibly fail. So...it took him putting his heart on the line and revealing to me how much he was in love with me and always was. Boy was I relieved to know that he felt the same way. So we wasted no time probably making the biggest mistake of our lives by starting a relationship, getting married and trying to start a family. Non the less...it was good while it lasted and I learned some people are better off as friends. The way you deal with a friend can be completely different from how a person might deal with a lover or spouse. I HAD LOST MY BEST FRIEND FOREVER.

Now on the other hand it could go well. I personally always felt that people should be friends first before becoming lovers and lovers should always remain friends. Now if he feels the same way that you feel about him and you two can maintain a friendship....SHUCKS...you two could possibly turn into the perfect couple and get old & grey together. Make little people that looks like the both of you. (Isn't that cute...) Well whatever you may decide....GOOD LUCK

Answer 3

Obviously your afraid of what may happen if you all cross the friendship line. But you can see that this guy is really special and there are not many out there like him. You know what, its true there arnt many out there like him. I believe and i think that you believe that he feels the same way about you. Sometimes its better to take the chance at having something great and fail than never to try at all and not know what might have happened. Its clear you all care so much about each other and have love and respect for each other. Thats what every woman wants a man who respects them. You all have so much in common, its something perfect waiting to happen. Why stand in the way. Life is too short. If you dont say something your going to pop. So jump in.

Answer 4

For the kind of friendship you have described, it is better you guys get married.Most times when this kind of friendship dont lead to marriage it ends up in hurting the partners you feels jealous about the partners closeness to someone else.so tell him axacly how you feel and let him tell you he doesnt feel that way about you.then the friendship would be defined and both of you can have the liberty to do as you wish with some other person.

Answer 5

Go for it. I once dated my best friend. Sorry to say it didn't work out. We were together for about 8 years though it was nice. Now we don't hardly talk anymore. Maybe just a hi when we see each other. After our relationship our friendship went downhill. I got over it though and moved on. Who knows about him. I didn't want a relationship but everyone was pressuring me. One night I just leaned over and kissed him and that's all it took.
GOOD LUCK!

Answer 6

Since he is married, keep your feelings to yourself. If the two of you are so close, I take it that you and his wife get along. That means you must be kinda friends. Don't defy her trust in you. Don't break up a family. Find your own man. If you can't handle being just friends, I suggest you stop spending so much time together.

Answer 7

I think that you need to tell him the truth. He will still be your friend even if he doesn't like you. Besides, do you want the fact that you never said anything to him to hang over you head for the rest of your life? Tell him.

Answer 8

That sounds cute. You know he might feel the same way.....try flirting with him a little bit and see what kind of response you get.

Answer 9

Life is too short and it is too hard to find quality companionship......Drop a few hints and see where it goes....If that doesn't work, just tell him.

Answer 10

it sounds to me like you two are more than just friends lol j/k