This has been going on for almost 3 years. Wife just no longer wnats sex when we used to have a great sex life (pre-children).Not planning on ending my marriage either. Just looking to fulfil that need...
2006-09-06 07:31:39 · 23 answers · asked by abc 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This has been going on for almost 3 years. Wife just no longer wnats sex when we used to have a great sex life (pre-children).Not planning on ending my marriage either. Just looking to fulfil that need...
AND YES HAVE TRIED TALKING TO HER AND SHE FLATLY STATES SHE DOES HAVE ANY MOOD FOR SEX...
2006-09-06 07:36:53 · update #1
A few additional points:
- Our relationship is also very weak (we are just very different people)
- I do not find myself as attracted to her as I once was
- After 3 years, trust me, I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING!!!
2006-09-06 07:48:22 · update #2
To be honest, I used this question hoping the answers would steer me in the right direction. I think I will stop the encounters...Thank you all...
2006-09-06 08:14:13 · update #3
Give me your name and number and I'll call your wife and ask her.
2006-09-06 07:45:48 · answer #1 · answered by YourAnswer... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, here we go.
When women start having children several things happen all at once. Our shape changes and we don't see ourselves as the lithe creatures that lured you down the romance path. We redefine our role in life. Going from sex kitten to someone's Mom is a huge jump and some of us make that jump better than otheres. We are TIRED. Raising kids is the hardest job I ever did - I have entire years on autopilot - can't tell you how I raised 5 kids - just did it. That deosn't leave room for much more than napping as a favorite pasttime. The constant barrage of other people's (albeit little people) can get overwhelming. "Feed the baby, do ther laundry, get the marble out of the nose, service the husband." It all rolls into one.
Solution:
Relax - it gets better as the kids get older and she starts sleeping regularly again. Plan a romantic evening that does not culminate in sex. Hot bath, hot dinner she did not have to cook or clean up after and into a bed with clean sheets to SLEEP, and you will be getting some again before you know it... and it will be her idea! My husband made Thursdays my night for that. I looked forward to Thursdays, and still, even tho my kids are now grown with kids of their own, I still love Thursdays.
Stay away from the skanks. If your wife finds out you will be paying alimony and child support for the rest of your natural life, and still not getting any from her. You have a bathroom, yes? Go for it in there for the moment until you guys get things back on track.
All the best!
2006-09-06 07:47:35 · answer #2 · answered by Susan L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are committing adultery! Is this what you had in mind when you decided to dedicate yourself to your wife and family? You are risking the happiness of your family. How could you? You need to be talking to your wife about this. Set aside time for each other. Be romantic. When was the last time that the two of you spent quality time together? Alone? You are probably so into the other "encounters" that you are forgetting to be romantic with your wife. Find a sitter for your kids and take your wife out on the town and bring her home or better yet, rent a room and make passionate love to her. Buy her flowers and gifts and make her feel special as your wife and mother of your children. Make her feel appreciated. A woman has to be stimulated outside the bedroom first. Remember that. Now, plan a romantic evening for the two of you and make love to your woman!!!
2006-09-06 07:43:15 · answer #3 · answered by Poetess_4U 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's put the sex thing aside for a second! It sounds like the lack of sex and the lack of communication has really taken it's toll! It sounds like there is no marriage at all!! Why do you even stay together then? I know you are going to say because of your kids; but that doesn't save a marriage!! You have reduced yourself to being a lying cheater; instead of being honest with your wife about the marriage being over!! It sounds over to me. Do you both love being miserable, or what?
2006-09-06 08:01:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its very difficult to live in a sexless relationship. I have done it.
I would suggest that you really think about getting some couples counseling. It can aid you finding out what the problem really is.
It could be something medical. She might not know it. A good doctor can be helpful.
I don't suggest that you keep doing it. But, I do understand.
Good luck.
2006-09-06 12:25:55 · answer #5 · answered by goldenlifev 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So why are you planning on staying? Ya know, your eventually going to fall in love with one of the girls your seeing, or someone totally ot of the blue. I for one, have learned not to judge other people, been through enough crap and wouldn't want anyone to judge me, we're all human but you should think about getting out.
2006-09-06 07:53:55 · answer #6 · answered by sasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are having intimate encounters with people other than your wife, then it is wrong. it is called cheating. think of the damage this could do to your marriage and even worse your children!
2006-09-06 07:37:22 · answer #7 · answered by honey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea your wrong, wrong, wrong
So,; she doesn't like the peta, you shouldn't give the peta away.
if she don't want it.
My wife told me the same thing after I was caught cheating over 10 times with different women. We've been unhappily married eva since.
2006-09-06 07:36:44 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all wrong in my opinion. I've heard that happenes to some women after having children.
2006-09-06 07:37:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that sucks well if you haven't already ask her why she isn't in the mood! ask her what you can do to put her in the mood!
stuff like that!
and get a baby siter!
Good luck
i feel for you!
Women are just complicated and i hope i never do that to my man!
but i don't think i will!
i'm a freak!
:)
Mad luv
2006-09-06 07:34:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont force her. Take her out for a dinner, or a late night romantic movie.
Go outstation in weekends with her. Pamper her thoroughly.
Suprise her with roses, flowers, gifts, a sexy nightie....
Automatically... she'll turn ON.
Dont just ask for sex, but Show ur desire too.(By pampering her)
She is ur one and only one ur wifey.
2006-09-06 07:44:19 · answer #11 · answered by ashlesha19 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋