When a man leaves his wife and he says it is because he is "not happy" what does that mean? Is it just a cop out - a way to justify their actions - especially when the unhappiness only became an issue when they began having an affair? I believe people are responsible for their own happiness - if you are relying on someone else to make you happy then you will never be happy. On another note - do these affairs last?
2006-09-06 07:09:23 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are very right. Other people can make you happy, but you should never depend on it. It is all in how someone chooses to see the world. " I am not happy", Just a lie they tell themselves to justify what they have done. It makes it your fault instead of their own. You made them leave, You made them fall for someone else, you could have prevented it.... blah blah blah.. yeah right. Wouldn't it be great if we were all adults who could just admit it when we are to weak to stand behind our actions or all the promises that we make. His affair will likely not last. he is wearing some really rose colored glasses right now, and soon they will be broken.. Good Luck to you.
2006-09-06 07:14:47 · answer #1 · answered by OnE GiRL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unhappiness in a relationship is generally not the outcome of an affair but the predecesessor to one.
If a person is unhappy because of a sucky spouse and a sucky marriage they start looking for things to pull them out of the hohums.. Some people drink, some people gamble, some people jerk off, some people get jobs where they are not at home so they don't have to listen to the incessant narcissistic whining and bitching.
If homelife sucks it's time to move on. I'd rather life in a cabin in the middle of Wyoming by myself then listen to a *****. Luckily, my wife only gets that way once a month, so my thought to flight are fleeting.
2006-09-06 14:38:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, you are better of without him .My ex gave me the exact same line,gave me hell,abandon me and the kids ,thank god!! and not even 3 months after leaving and during divorce procedings he got the other woman pregnant .Is been 2 years and someone ask him once no so long ago: ARE YOU HAPPY? what he answer?....."to tell you the thruth I live with her but I'm not happy I regret every day when I wake up divorcing my wife".Talk about inmaturity ,selfisness, midlife crisis or stupidity .What do I say now? "to tell you the thruth,Divorcing him was the best thing I did". So move on dear believe me even tho it hurts in the begining It will be better for you at the end. You deserve better.
2006-09-06 20:53:21 · answer #3 · answered by Alijoy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To the question of do they last, that depends on the couple. I think that some people do not know what you said and what I am always saying. Happiness is inside you no one can make you happy. As no one can make you unhappy. It is easier for a person to look outside for an answer then to fix what has gone wrong. Back to do they last in the end i think that 95% of them end up as their first relationship unhappy and looking for a way out.
2006-09-06 14:18:04 · answer #4 · answered by lost_soul 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, he wasn't happy... As to why he wasn't happy, that's a question for him... And yes, absolutely, each person is responsible for their own happiness - so the man you're describing is taking his happiness in his own hands and leaving the relationship in which he is not happy or fulfilled. Happens all the time. Affairs - I don't think they last, nor are they meant to last. Mostly it's just a distraction.
2006-09-06 14:19:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you: you can't rely on someone else for happiness.
Affairs don't always last the test of time, but some do.
When he says he's not happy, he probably means that his mistress is making him happier than his wife.
2006-09-06 14:17:57 · answer #6 · answered by nowimrelaxedicantbesure 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find out the reason "Why" Ask the question and look beyond the answer that he will give you,
Money, Sex, fighting, and there could be to many to mention for the reason Why..Do you know "why"?
does he need to go to family council, will he go, if not go yourself...A affair could last 10 years..is that going on in your life? fix it soon, leave or stay, but do something about the problem very soon, start today..life goes on!
2006-09-06 14:22:58 · answer #7 · answered by Gerry C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not happy is just an immature excuse for not wanting to work on a relatipnship. Who is happy? We should base our lives on happy? I don't think so. Happiness is a decision, looking around and expecting others to provide happiness for you is the act of a young child, who hasn't yet learned to take responsibility for himself.
2006-09-06 14:16:22 · answer #8 · answered by n_of49p 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah. It's because he is happy with someone else. He has an affair. He is in love. At least he is honest.
Good luck, it's better than him being gay
2006-09-06 14:13:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Very very rarely do the affairs last. The new woman will never trust him because he was married and cheated with her so he's likely to do it again.
You might want to post your question at drphil.com
2006-09-06 14:32:39 · answer #10 · answered by K M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋