I said something to my bofriend that I really regret. Since then we've been arguing like crazy. I know he loves me and I know I love him but he doesn't believe that I love him like I should. He has become suicidal and the only reason why he is alive today is because his neaighbor called the police because of loud music coming from his apt. and they found him on the floor because he took a whole bottle of sleeping pills..150 pills...he got his stomache pumped. I feel so aweful. Like its all my fault. If I hadn't said what I said we would be so happy. But now all we do is argue, he doesnt believe a word I say, like when I tell him that I love him. I dont expect him to get over what I said but I would love for us to move foward. Now he's trying to change me. He said that he's going to make me into what he wants me to be. I don't know..things aren't looking too good. I love this man with all my heart but im afraid that if I leave him he will kill himself and I really will feel guilty
2006-09-06 06:59:47 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He called earlier this morning saying that he's thinking about buying a gun and saying that when he lays down 4 bed 2nite if he's lucky he wont wake up... I don't know what to do. Im here in Az and he's all the way in Atl. He's not answering his phone or texts so im sitting here worried as hell. Im so done with him but so scared that when I leave him he will kill himself and I don't want know that the reason why he killed himself was over something stupid I said. I can't talk to him anymore..he insists on being right about everything and Im always wrong. It even gets to the point where I just say that he's right even when I know he's wrong just to avoid arguing with him. How do I get through to him? He's so closed minded that nothing I say he believes. It's his way or the highway. No comprimising. I love him but I don't know if I can take this much longer. He says that he loves me but I can't see how he can love me the way he is loving me.
2006-09-06 09:40:30 · update #1
it sounds like you need more help than what can be offered on yahoo answers, seek a counslier for him and for the both of you if you want it to continue, yes..seek professional help!
2006-09-06 07:03:09 · answer #1 · answered by magickitty0621 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, hun but that's not the kind of relationship you want to be in. He sounds extremely controlling and manipulative. You should never be forced to stay with someone because they are suicidal! He needs to see a psychologist or get some professional help. I think the problem is more serious than you may think. It is not because of you that he is unhappy- he is making you think that way because he is manipulating you. Trust me honey- you will not be happy with him in the long run unless he gets some serious help. He may need to get on some anti depressants or just talk to a doctor.
Your relationship is not healthy, take a step back and ask yourself if you really truly love him and if its worth putting yourself through the stress of being worried about him all the time- not saying you won't worry about him if you're not with him. I've seen your situation too many times with people i care about and the truth is- you can find someone better, who will love you for who you really are and not try to change you.
Think about if your best friend were in your situation, what would you tell her- would you want her to be with someone like that?? I wish you the best and good luck honey!
2006-09-06 07:14:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly you should live you life your way don't let a single person( a man) intimidate you, you by yourself is the strongest part of your free will, the reason why he tried to kill himself was to make you feel bad and in a way it has made you feel obligated to stay because you fear for his life, but i realize that he thinks by doing this that you will stay with no matter what, i know i sound a little off but i know i have been there but i didn't feel obligation i felt fear not only was he suicidal but he was woman beater.......anyways the point is that it may start out as feeling guilty for telling him something you think you shouldn't have but if you told him because you felt it was necessary then don't feel guilty you had every right to. DO NOT let him change you and who you are. you are you and your also unique if a man tries to change you into his mold then he does not really love you i know this may sound harsh but its the truth i wish you good luck in your decision
2006-09-06 07:19:25 · answer #3 · answered by dreamgirl2153 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deal with it!! Stop making excuses! If you care about him and he cars about you there should be nothing you can't talk about!!! The more you calmly communicate the better you will be together!! Good luck!! Email me and let me know how it goes. Don't feel guilty! Suicied is a selfish act!!! If he knew how much that hurt you and his family he wouldn't do **** like that!!!!!! Maybe you should show him how mad that act made you and do NOT have pitty on him. He had a life before you and you could make it apart if you had to! This is a battle for ONE GOD!!!! him killing himself is only helping the devil win!!!!! Remember to say what you mean and mean what you say!!!
2006-09-06 07:09:38 · answer #4 · answered by tasty9744 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both need to sit and talk about the whole situation. If you really love him you woul dget him help and support him. Try understanding him and where he is coming from there may be more to the story (childhood past and issues/abuse/ neglect etc) Tell him that you want to be with him and wan tthe relationship to work out and you both try to start over and forget the past to move on to a better future.
2006-09-06 07:05:06 · answer #5 · answered by slimwithgoodies 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen... You cannot control the actions of others. FREE WILL.... All you can control is yourself. If you are NOT happy with him... which I know I wouldnt be... Then leave him. Its up to him and god what he does next. Its not your fault. But Do NOT stay with him because your scared to leave... Even if you love him, you cant be a slave and be whatever he wants you to be... You are yourself, Find someone who will love you just the way you are.
2006-09-06 07:02:34 · answer #6 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you need to do is move on and leave this guy alone get him some help or tell some people that he might want to kill himself when you see a man wants to make you into there perfect someone your not going to be happy she's going to be abusive so go and go now and tell someone
2006-09-06 07:04:32 · answer #7 · answered by ♥*♥Bahamian Gal♥*♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to leave him and move on.. u shouldn't feel guilty bout anything cause ur entitled to speak ur mind even if he doesn't like what ur saying... plus he took those pills not u, nobody held a gun to his head.. he wants attn and he's going bout it the wrong way..
u need to break it off w/him.. u can't say what's on ur mind cause u think he might try to off himself, and ur always arguing over something that u said along time ago..
tell him if he can't get past it and get over then u and him need to go ur separate ways... because obviously ur not moving forward and u dont' sound happy..
and remember ur happines comes 1st....
2006-09-06 07:03:59 · answer #8 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please keep the lines of communication going and I'm sorry he feels that life is not worth living and feels like killing himself. Life's no fun when you feel that way. Sometimes a change of scenery can jog your brain into remembering what it was about life that you liked to have made it thus far.
2006-09-06 07:08:21 · answer #9 · answered by Linda J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie it all falls down to your intent! if your intent is to break his heart just to do it! then yeah all the guilt should be placed on you!
if your leaving him is due to it just not working out and you feel it will be the best for both of you and he does that!
it's not your problem... that means he has to learn how to deal with rejection and live issues!
So what is your intent! good or bad!
Mad luv
2006-09-06 07:04:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋