that by attempting intimate encounters with you and bearing gifts of some kind daily that is making their wrong doings go away? Actions speak louder than words, i am sure some of you will say but how about sincere regret expressed along with a gift or 8? I would find that most effective..(and yes i have mentioned that and it was said- but why does one have to lead you to that point?)
Anyone have thoughts on this? And/or agree with me? Who knows what i am talking about..i know someone has to.
2006-09-06 06:30:54 · 6 answers · asked by Quasi 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I guess some people feel like they can make up for wrong doings by trying to make it better. By that I mean, buying gifts, bringing home ur fav foods, wine, snacks whatever it may be. Some people who consider themselves not affectionate, try to compensate for that with the gifts etc. But if u did wrong and u know it, why not just apologize and correct it if possible, or leave the relationship and go do ur "thang".
2006-09-06 09:21:00 · answer #1 · answered by lisa j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do understand where you are coming from....the man in my life never really buys things like that to say sorry, but I do know of men who do....I can understand why you (or any other woman) would want something from the heart, because it just seems all to easy and unthoughtful to just go buy something to make everything OK...
However, a while back, I skimmed over this book that explains how everyone has their own "language of love"....how people chose to give and recieve that love can sometimes be different....For instance Joe Shmoe might feel that the best way to show someone you love them is to give them gifts, because that is how he percieves giving love....where as Cindy Lou thinks the best way to show someone you love them is by physical affection, because that is how she understands showing love.....
Cindy Lou and Joe Shmoe get together....Joe Shmoe always buys Cindy gifts....however she feels that he doesn't really love her because he is never affectionate with her....Joe Shmoe doesn't understand where Cindy Lou is coming from because he always gets her these nice things....they are both showing love, but using DIFFERENT LANGUAGES.
Someone recommended a book to me, so I bought and read parts of the book, and it was insightful. The book is called "The 5 Languages of Love" by Dr. Gary Chapman....I haven't finished it, but I thought it made a lot of sense.I hope I explained it somewhat clearly (I might have missed a few main points or didn't explain it compeltely right) But I will put a link to the website under "references". Check out the website it may be helpful.
****I just realized that this question was in the "Lesbian,Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered" catagory after I answered it, with a heterosexual example, sorry about that. But I got that book in reference to my heterosexual realationship, but I don't think it makes a difference what type of relationship it is used for (goodness....that book could be used for relationships between friends even), I think it could be applied to ANY relationship with two people (friends, parents, lovers, or whatever). VERY insightful.****
2006-09-06 13:44:03 · answer #2 · answered by CBL123 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Once someone breaks your trust you never look at them in the same light ever again. No matter how sorry they are or seem to say. No matter how much money, or how many gifts they could give. You may still care for the person, but the fact is that they will never be that person you knew you could trust.
2006-09-06 14:40:27 · answer #3 · answered by Q~T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my girlfriend and I are fighting I will get her a nice card to express my regret but I don't buy her gifts. She used to buy me gifts until I explained to her that it makes her look guilty and I didn't like the fact that she thought she could buy her forgiveness.
2006-09-06 13:40:59 · answer #4 · answered by Scully 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Must be the guilt... you just want to make it up but you don't know how. Apologising sometimes doesn't seem enough. I'd much rather a sincere apology than gifts.
I think....
2006-09-06 13:34:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My head hurts trying to read what you wrote.
2006-09-06 13:39:20 · answer #6 · answered by closetcoon_fan 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋