I'll make this short. My brother dated this girl and ended up getting her pregnant. She had the baby and she's the most georgous I've ever seen. I want to be a part of my niece's life, but feel I can't because my brother isn't involved. When she gets older she'll wonder why I'm involved and not her father. I resent my brother and his negliance in the situation. He has not been there for the girl and her baby from day one and not he thinks it's her fault because she is going after him for full custody and support. I understand she is going after him clearly for money. She saids its for the child but she clearly makes more than my brother and has her **** together...We use to be friends and she welcomed me in her home and her family, but now we don't talk. Is there any way my brother can get out of child support . We are in California and know he can NOT give up his parental rights. She really is a nice person but i don't know why she has to go after him for cs?
2006-09-06 06:03:12 · 6 answers · asked by alwayscheerin49ers 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
she will find someone in the future to adope the child but i doubt my brother ever will. He is too immature! He isn't capable of handling his own situations. He is gonna be ****** 28 in December and he couldn't find the courage to see his own daughter at birth. I have seen her and all his friends have...beautiful!
2006-09-06 06:05:01 · update #1
Oh the baby is his indeed. We already have a dna test and it's his and we all knew it before. He just needed the proof on paper. He doesn't want to be involved because a) they aren't really a coupld and she doesn't personally want a relationship with him anymore. B) he is too immature C) a lot of his hollywood friends have been harassing her and him but mainly i feel cuz they are jealous he was with a beautiful girl and d) he feels if he is out of the picture it will be better for both of them
2006-09-06 06:16:25 · update #2
I told her two days before the baby was born she and my brother should get a legal agreement signed saying she wouldn't go after him for cs. She didn't say anything and wrote me an email saying I should at the least empathizes with her and put myself in her shoes. If I was in the situation I do the same thing, because it's number 1 for the child. Not her, him, or our familles. We don't come for a food family like she does, our mother abandon us and we were raise by our dad and granma and our dad is the dean of a college. so how is it about money? that s all she wants? she doesn't want to be involved with my brother, she saids its for the child and he wanted her to have an abortion or give the child up. she didn't. it was her choice to bring her in this world, not my brothers, its her choice to raise it!
2006-09-06 06:56:34 · update #3
I don't think it matters if he sees her or not ... that's his choice ... it's still his responsibility to help support HIS child financially even if the mother has her sh*t together ... why does she have to take on full responsibility ... they had the child together ... period ...!
Why would you want him to get out of paying ... it's the LEAST he can do ... especially if he doesn't plan on being in the child's life. Shoot it may even teach him something ... if she "makes" him pay. He should, he will & that's the way it is.
Ca. sucks .. I haven't seen a single dime from my ex in the past 3 years ... so if he's as bad as you say .. if he doesn't have a job, sales drugs, or works for cash .. there's not much they can do .. take his license and put a few liens on his name .. that's about it .. !
Oh yeah .. and I know how you feel ... my brother has 2 kids ... different moms ... different states ... and one more due Sep. 14th ... and he's only 23 never married, crappy jobs & lives house to house with his girlfriends ... I hate watching him make babies and leave babies ... it's disgusting ... and wish I could do something to help and be in the children's life but they don't even know I exisit ... it's like a part of us has been lost and probably will be forever .. !
2006-09-06 06:15:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well no matter what it is your brother's decision to do what he is doing. I know that you feel bad, and I think that you should try to be in the baby's life after all she is your niece and your blood. Is there a reason that your brother doesnt want to be a part of this?? Anyway I am sure that the girl is doing the CS thing for an emotional reason, if she has her life together. The only thing that I would say is for your brother to go and fight in court for some custody. If he doesnt want to then there is pretty much nothing that he can do.He can get DNA tested and see if it is really his baby. But until then he is going to have to keep paying that money, might as well make it worth it and see the child. Regardless he is going to have to keep paying until the baby is adopted by someone else, if that ever even happens.
2006-09-06 13:12:28 · answer #2 · answered by gm 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, its none of my business but your brother is a dead beat father. I don't know the law in California but I think they can either throw him in jail or take away his drivers license. I am not sure, so let that be known, and you might want to contact someone that is well versed in the ends and outs of Law in your state. As far as being friends with the woman and your niece, that might be a problem you will have to get in contact with her to find out. She may resent you cause of your relationship with the deadbeat father. Further more, if he doesn't want to be with the mother or daughter....that is still his daughter and will have to provide support. Think about it for a second, what if you got knocked up by a man who didn't want to be a part of the childs life? Even if you made a million dollars, you would still be entitled to child support from the father not unless you and the father have a written document stating that he doesn't owe you anything which will have to be on file with the court just to make it legal. So to your brother, do the right thing and help raise the little girl. She didn't ask to be here....You made her......support her!!!!
2006-09-06 13:25:17 · answer #3 · answered by ERIC W 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, there is no way your brother can get out of his obligation to support his child, hence the reason for Child Support. You've said yourself that he is negligent and immature, so why wouldn't you instead encourage him to be responsible? And aren't you glad that his ex-girlfriend makes good money and has her stuff together? That's a plus because the child is going to need someone in that capacity. I think it's a good thing that you were involved with your niece. Just because your brother is a louse doesn't mean the little girl should be shut out from the entire family. Beleive me, if the only thing he can contribute to the childs life is child support that's better than nothing. You should recontact the mom and make amends so that you can have the benefit of participating in that little girls life again.
2006-09-06 13:13:19 · answer #4 · answered by karen W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have establish what a D*ck your brother is, explain to your former friend that you do not approve of how your brother is going about it, but that you would like to be in your nieces' life.
Put yourself in her shoes.
Parents are obligated to pay for the support of their children, even when the children are not living with both parents.
Children have the right to support, which includes, but is not limited to, basic fundamentals such as food, clothing, medical care and adequate housing. Regardless of the amount the custodial parents earns, or can afford, both parents are responsible for raising their children, even if one is only helping out financially.
2006-09-06 13:20:43 · answer #5 · answered by impatientone_2000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope.. It is his responsibility as the father to help support them.
If he isn't responsible enough to pay it, he should have never had sex with her.
And shes going after him for it because she can.. It's not fair for one person to support a child (THEY ARE EXPENSIVE) when TWO people made her!
2006-09-06 13:07:45 · answer #6 · answered by sour_apple 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋