2006-09-06 05:35:55 · 18 answers · asked by wildone 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Accept the fact you are married, not blind. However, that goes both ways. There is nothing wrong with admiring someone from a distance, men and women do it all the time. Hell, it can be rather stimulating to a relationship. It can also be dangerous to a marriage if it is not put and KEPT in the right perspective. For example, does your spouse know about this crush? If so, then you are being honest and you should have no worries. However, if you havent disclosed this "crush" to your spouse, then I have to ask "why"? That's when it becomes dangerous, for your guilt in having a "crush" is keeping you from being up front about it and that may just move into "action" on it.
This conversation that you should have with your spouse should be open and light if all it is is a "crush". If it is more, then maybe you should ask yourself why you can't have a light hearted conversation about it with your spouse.
In the physical sense you have not cheated, but sex is sex and cheating is cheating when there is no emotion involved, for you married your spouse not of sex, but of emotion called love.
That is the problem with cheating besides simple sex, is the emotional attachment that manifests itself. This is what destroys marriages and relationships.
Cheating to get laid, is one thing, but having a "feeling" for someone is entirely more involved, and that is the real problem.
So, ask yourself this question:
Is this crush just a physical attraction, or do I have "real" feelings for this person?
The answer you come up with is what is the reality of what you are feeling.
So, are you cheating?
2006-09-06 17:33:15 · answer #1 · answered by jv1104 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would consider it an indication that you feel a void about something. But a crush or, god forbid, extramarital affair is only a fantasy. Remember that your crush is only based on what you see, superficially, in that person. You're not living with them through daily stressors. You don't see them first thing in the morning, or at their irrational moments.
Since you're asking the question before you've acted, you'll have no excuse to take the "crush" any further. Talk to your spouse and mention that you're having fantasies or that there is something about another person that is intriguing you. If you have a wise spouse, he/she will take this as confirmation of your commitment to the marriage, and will help you get to the meaning of your "crush" . . . thus, putting it to rest. If your spouse feels initially hurt or offended, I would think that understandable. But a wise person will get his/her composure and deal with the minor issue before it becomes a major one.
2006-09-06 05:44:03 · answer #2 · answered by georgia b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. But it does bring into question the strength of your feeling toward your marriage partner.
I had that problem all through my 25 year marriage. I was always "in love" with someone else.
When I met the man who I am now with, no one else looked good to me..........he is my dream man.
Although we fight and do not get along after a nine year on and off again relationship, we are still deeply in a love that I cannot even describe.
2006-09-06 05:43:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you found out that the partner in either of these situations is having a crush on another person, do you consider it cheating? I certainly would.
2006-09-06 05:39:43 · answer #4 · answered by KIMBO 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Absolutely not. It happens to everyone eventually. Only acting on it is cheating. The 'crush' will pass and you will probably have more of them. You're mate proably has too. Just don't tell him about it and don't act on it. It's just a fantasy but, it could upset him. Woudn't you get upset? Hang in there.
2006-09-06 05:41:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. Having crushes on other people are normal as long as it doesn't go any further than that. It's like checking people out. It's gonna happen despite whatever you say or do, as long as you don't take it any farther than that.
2006-09-06 05:48:46 · answer #6 · answered by T.G. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont quite follow u. but if u r asking if being married and having a crush on someone else is considered cheat... yes it is!
2006-09-06 05:39:33 · answer #7 · answered by Miss-Kenya 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
no my husband has a crush on Angelina Jolie which i think is ridiculous only if you act on it or turn to this other person instead of your spouse
2006-09-06 05:39:21 · answer #8 · answered by gigibluce 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No crushes are fun, as long as you don't act on it you havn't done anything wrong.
2006-09-06 05:39:03 · answer #9 · answered by sasha 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no. that's normal. it's when you act upon your crush is when you're cheating.
2006-09-06 05:38:40 · answer #10 · answered by dogstyle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋