MY HUSBAND AND I ARE BOTH 22 AND HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR OVER A YEAR NOW WITH A BABY GIRL AND ANOTHER ONE ON THE WAY. WELL THINGS HAVENT BEEN GREAT BETWEEN US AND I FOUND OUT THAT WHILE HE WAS HERE IN MIAMI VISITNG US HE WAS SEEING ANOTHER GIRL! I HAVENT BEEN AN ANGEL MYSLEF BUT IT'S JUST THAT WHEN IT HAPPENS TO U, IT HURTS TWICE AS MUCH! WHEN I FOUND OUT ABOUT HE CRIED OVER ME TELLING ME HE'S SORRY AND THAT SHE DIDNT MEAN ANYTHING TO HIM AND OTHER APOLOGETIC THINGS. I WAS A TOTAL ***** TOWARDS MY HUSBAND BEFORE HE DID ALL OF THIS ITS NO EXCUSE BUT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT DIVORCE BUT NOW WHEN I MENTION IT HE REFUSES TO DIVORCE ME AND HE SAYS THAT DEEP DOWN HE KNOWS I WAS UNFAITHFUL TO HIM BUT HE CAN'T LET ME GO! I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO OR HOW TO FEEL! SHOW I STAY WITH HIM AND WORK IT OUT OR JUST MOVE ON BECAUSE IT BOTHERS ME SO MUCH TO KNOW THAT SOMEONE THAT LOVED ME SO MUCH HURT ME SO BAD! IM NOT SAYING THAT I CHEATED ON HIM, JUST TALKED TO OTHER GUYS! HELP ME PLEASE!
2006-09-06 05:09:04 · 30 answers · asked by ya girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
.......*phew*....such openness . admirable .
i like your honesty. you will be happily partnered some day with such an eager guidance seeking intelligence. please be mindfull to realize what are the feelings to each of your own ideas and while you are attending to some of the responses which come to you from the circle...know your feelings to these also. and try to know these are impersonal...for these persons whom respond speak with good intent for the most part....and realize they may have their own unresolved and fettered notions of what is a good or what is a not so good relationship.
i am not going to advise you how to proceed since your sincerity shows you have a mind which is directed by feeling anyway. it will be up to you to realize what feels right and what do not feel right.
but i will say this about "infidelity".......it is a near taboo term and you should beware that those who hear and respond to it....respond to fears and taboos. they will not have the good wisdom or full realization (nor openness and honesty....you will need to be carefull whom you speak with) to counsel/minister with you/family.\
i would ask that you consider this.....if you had even an idea of sharing affection or intimacy with another (and not even doing such) it was because there were within you a nature to love/share....(it need not be reduced to ual engagement for the purpose...it need not be reduced to unfullness).
who is your loving being..? what brings her to share..?
do others whom with-hold sharing have their pocket-books for manageable relationships to refer to.
when do they share ...? and for what purpose...?
be well always
2006-09-06 05:41:10 · answer #1 · answered by noninvultuous 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The BIG question here is what do each of you think of each other? You did not say that you think your marriage is worth saving. If not continue along this path and leave a single parent home in the mix. If so you two need to sit down and recommit to fidelity. You were wandering and he acts out by having one of his own. How predictable. You left the impression that you were unfaithful whether you were or weren't you got the same response.
Interesting how you understand now how destructive that behavior can be. Assuming you have each learned your lessons, it would be a good time to decide if you are willing to start over. This is a joint decision. If you each are willing to say this stuff was a big mistake and it will not happen again then work on being a couple again. A relationship can survive this crap and be stronger on the back side. It takes commitment which might even be easier now that you both know the consequences and pain. To throw away your relationship now discounts that you each have learned how painful this is. Leave now and go relive this with someone else.
2006-09-06 12:41:14 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can wake up to this man everyday for the rest of your life and can honestly say that you trust him and you are able to move past what he did then you should stay with him - maybe get counseling to help you get over it - especially if you have a child and one on the way- ...22 is a very young age to be married and settle down , it is very hard to realistically expect that a man is going to be faithful always. But if you feel like you can't trust him and it is eating you up inside then don't waste your life - you are still young. Live for love but don't sacrifice your dignity for anyone!!
2006-09-06 12:21:03 · answer #3 · answered by Cola 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry your going through this but in my relationship that i have been in these past three years have not been good. my other half cheated on me with his babies momma. i was devastated and i didn't deserve that kind of treatment. he did this last year in december. well needless to say i tried to work things out with him and my heart and soul couldn't rest. every time he would leave the house to go somewhere no matter where he would be going i would sit there and think he was with another female. it has hurt me so much and has taken so much out of me. i am a good person and have been taught treat others the way you want to be treated. so i tried and things didn't work. look if your truely in love with this man which you married him so you should be go seek help. but if in your heart you feel that wont work then sweetie don't try to make it work cause it wont happen things will get wrose and by then it will be to late.
2006-09-06 12:18:24 · answer #4 · answered by kitty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a big difference between talking to other guys and actually having sex with them. A relationship is all about trust and he broke that trust. Right now he is saying sorry and refusing to divorce but isn't his refusal to respect how you feel and what you want more about him and his ability to control you than about love and marriage? You two need to sit down and talk things out and each of you decide what you want and need for your future.
2006-09-06 12:14:10 · answer #5 · answered by rkrell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They say "what goes around comes around". If you don't love others with all your heart, what do you expect more than that from others ... Now work it out, try to save a much as you can and try to be a good girl your self. If thing doesn't work, you can always move on later and how you will do to the next guy is how you want to be treated by him.
2006-09-06 12:23:04 · answer #6 · answered by Juliet 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are 2 options here.
if you love him that much that you want to work it out, then you both have to sit down and talk about it. Not just any talk, but the kind of talk that lets every emotion, pain, likes, dislikes, anger, and reason out. details about the past are not necessary it happened and its time to get passed it. details will only bring more anger. instead ask why he did it. let him know you did it to and why. if there is no longer any honesty and trust then there is nothing. get a baby sitter take him out to dinner and talk. for hours if necessary.
If that's not working for you than maybe its time for a divorce.
2006-09-06 12:19:49 · answer #7 · answered by phoenix 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Plain and simple, both of you go and get some serious counseling. If not for yourselves, for the innocent children that have to grow up with screwed up parents. It may even work to bring the two of you closer together and save the marriage. Remember, communication is everything!! JMHO GaryT
2006-09-06 12:43:14 · answer #8 · answered by gary t 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to save your marriage then get some counseling. If you are gonna take him back, forgive him and let it go. You can't be throwing it up in his face every time you get in an argument. So you decide is you marriage worth saving? Not for the kids. For you and him because you two need to resolve your issues before you can be the parents you need to be to your kids.
God Bless and Good Luck to you!
2006-09-06 12:16:10 · answer #9 · answered by sexylips232 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him, try to fix things back with him. Give yourself sometime and if he is still cheating on you then move on. Because he will never be faithful. He his probably telling the other women bad things about you while giving her false expectations!
Good luck . I know what i'm talking about i've been there.
2006-09-06 12:50:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋