Is there anyway of overcoming this? I always feel as though I'm irrating/boring to people and feel that they will go off me. When I meet people for the first time, I can tell they like me but I say in my mind, "yes, but it won't be long before you start to dislike me" and then I start to feel weird and sad. Why am I like this and what can I do, please anyone?
2006-09-06 03:55:05 · 18 answers · asked by Say It Like You Mean It 4 in Social Science ➔ Sociology
Yea, take the meds and cure nothing! How you think determines how you will act. If you believe that they will not like you than you will make it come true (self-fulfilling prophecy). It's a defensive move on your part to keep people away from you because you are afraid of being hurt. You start to feel sad and weird because your subconscious knows what the deal is that's why there is an issue. Thoughts are not real they are just thoughts, it does not mean you have to act on them or that they WILL come true. Well unless you want them to. It's up to you, do something about it. Good luck.
2006-09-06 04:06:43 · answer #1 · answered by Scott 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can be a very disruptive symptom, try hard to overcome it before it gets the better of you.
We cannot possibly like everybody even though I am sure you are like me (i don't know why) and like nearly all I meet. Some times wonder why others at least do not show a similar friendly attitudes but I have come to realise we live in a very competitive society. That means people do a number of odd things to survive.
Some feel threatened by the competition others of not knowing the competition. The problem for most people like you and I is that we like to be shown we are liked and often have no idea we are in a competition or what that competition is about. So the barriers are put up before you ( they may be rude, hostile, choose to ignore you or even set out to destroy you) They do not reveal the reason behind them so you cannot possible break them down.
It is best not to dwell on them just keep smiling and keep your composure whenever confronted and if that does not melt those barriers then move on and do not give the perpetrator the satisfaction of knowing they got to you.
You are looking for constant reassurance which you feel puts people of you. This must be overcome by your inner self, keep reminding your self you are a very special person, you have survived and prospered this far in your life and you will go further. Another tip is trying to read the inner thoughts of other people is like a recipe for disaster whatever you think, your probably wrong.
Your not on your own we are all out there just the same as you but not showing it..
2006-09-06 04:23:12 · answer #2 · answered by philipscottbrooks 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should stop thinking this way hun !
when you start thinking like that, i am sure your body language changes and let me tell you - body language is such an important aspect when you are meeting someone new. when you meet someone, no matter what you say, if your body language is giving negative signals you will not be able to communicate nicely to the person
try this - go in front of a mirror in your best dress and your best hair, take a look at yourself - see your inner and outer beauty - appreciate yourself and say 'everyone likes me, i am a likeable person' , 'everyone likes me, i am a likeable person'
may sound like madness right now - but try it and do this everyday - this will build your self confidence like nothing !
then when you meet someone new, repeat in your head 'i am a likeable person' keep smiling and keep talking...
listen i am sure you are wonderful person to be with and all you need is self confidence
good luck ... if you like yourself - people will like you - and remember no-one can please everyone and if there is someone who doesnt like you - thats just fact of life !! you cant make everyone like you so just be yourself and believe in yourself
dont let those negative feelings get to you !!
good luck :)
2006-09-06 04:15:07 · answer #3 · answered by GorGeous_Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You clearly have huge self esteem issues. Go and get some advice from your doctor. They may be able to put you in touch with a counsellor or support group to help you over come this. Why do you dislike yourself so much? People obviously warm to you immediately, they are interested in you. Hypnotherapy could be an option for you but can be pricey.
2006-09-06 04:01:26 · answer #4 · answered by rondavous 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your're very insecure. Maybe you should try doing something that would make you feel better about yourself. When I start to feel insecure, I just remind myself that not everyone is going to like me and that's okay, as long as I am happy about myself that's all that matters. Do yourself a favor and dont be so hard on yourself and when you feel like you are going to panic over someone not liking you, take a deep breath and relax. Just be yourself and others will like you, and if not, the heck with them. As long as you are comfortable and confident with yourself that's all that matters.
2006-09-06 04:06:44 · answer #5 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Midwestern Girl. People often mistaken Social Anxiety Distoder with shyness. I am like this a lot too. A few Cognative Behavioural therapy sessions can help you think a little more positivily.
2006-09-06 04:01:15 · answer #6 · answered by S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of people are like you but you should remind yourself that nobody really likes a person who sucks up to everyone else just to avoid social exclusion.
The fact is that you don't belong in everybody's group. You're probably a lovely person and you belong in the lovely people's group. Don't waste your energy trying to make friends with people who aren't as nice as you.
2006-09-06 04:13:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you self conscious about something? =/ you have such low self esteem. im pretty sure you're likable, you're just worrying too much. you can already make the first impression, and if they dont like you after a while, just think, you're just getting rid of someone you won't like anyway and is getting closer to finding a true friend!
2006-09-06 04:48:47 · answer #8 · answered by poopermon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you are a lovely person, just a little insecure though. If you had a 360 I would be your friend, why don't you set one up and then invite me and i would accept you. You must remember my name though. good luck and have a nice day.
2006-09-06 03:57:54 · answer #9 · answered by Cj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I remember as quickly as I informed my mom i did not sense stable and did not prefer to bypass to college. She compelled me to get waiting for college and as i became approximately to go away, I threw up out the door next to me. of direction I have been given to stay domicile that day.
2016-11-25 00:27:48 · answer #10 · answered by nevius 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋