How do i help my teen daughter deal with the death of a friend sent to war in iraq?

Question

My daughter is 17 yrs old, she has known this guy,they are just friends, for four yrs,he was sent to iraq 3 weeks ago, he was killed in his first raid, his mom asked my daughter if she wanted to see the pictures of him, he was shot in the head, she is very upset and i'm not sure how to deal with this grief.

Answer 1

The only thing that you can really do is Comfort her and tell her that everthing will be alright!! She needs to feel secure! feeling secure is the most important thing to remember. Dont tell her that you KNOW what she is going through, but that you understand! Let her know that she can depend on you if she needs you! Reasure her that if she needs to talk, that you will be there for her whenever SHE is ready to talk! Dont push her to open up. Let her come to you! Dont act like it never happened, but at the same time dont be to opened about it. It can be VERY overwhelming to hear someone talking about it, so just give it some time, and when she is ready and she feels comfortable, she will talk about it! and remember, tears are healthy!its ok to cry. Try getting her a little gift to let her know you understand what she is going through! Tell her you are sorry for what happened, and that when she is ready to talk or needs anything, you will be there waiting. My sympathies for your loss, and god bless you, and your daughter! The sun will shine again! Time will heal your pain, and ease the emptiness in your heart! Just remember that God loves you, and your friend is smilling at you from heaven, and he wouldnt want you to be sad, he would want you to be happy and carry on with your lives.

Answer 2

Firstly I am so sorry for your lost. This is a very hard situation because every person deals whit grief differently. But maybe allow her to go to the funeral ore memorial service. Also let her see the photo if it will help her accept. After that there isn't very much u can do except provide a shoulder to cry on and a pair of ears to listen to her. If u see Ur child struggles to accept this, don't hesitate to let her see a therapist.

Best of luck whit Ur problem and send Ur Daughter my deepest sympathy. And remember God is only a prair away.

Answer 3

Let your daughter decide how she wants to deal with the grief. Everyone deals with it differently and there is no right way or wrong way. Just let her know that you are there for her to talk. And, if she is not comfortable with viewing the phtos then she shouldn't. Remember, his mother is also grieving over the death of her son.

Answer 4

Why supply them any risk of freedom even though if the effect could be death interior the line of accountability. They gave up any opportunities of...in case you suspect in conflict...an honourable death. Why might desire to they be relied directly to combat for a rustic and it fairly is human beings they betrayed with the help of taking an harmless existence, subsequently they are in penal complex on death row. it rather is the place they might desire to stay or until such time they are carried out.

Answer 5

it's never easy dealing with grief, it's very hard for someone her age to deal with the loss of a friend.. Tell her if she ever needs to talk your going to be there for her..Also try a grief counsler.. Have her write down her feelings in a Journal..

Answer 6

How is teen grief different from adult grief?
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What is similar about teen and adult grief?
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How is teen grief different from that of younger children?
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What is the difference between healthy and unhealthy grieving?
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Answer 7

I am deeply sorry for the loss of her friend.. right now she is really going to need the support of her family and friends. You would think that I would be the best person to really respond to this being that I am a military wife.. its one of my worse fears when my husband is at war. But right now I am dealing with a death of our child .. so this is the best I can offer.

I did do a search and found this link:
http://dying.about.com/od/caregivers/a/Being_There.htm

Death is a very strong and a dark word that many of us really don’t care to hear. Family members gather around offering all they can to support others. Many of us don’t want to be bothered by the fact that we are meant to be strong, supportive, and yet we don’t have time to worry about anything coming our way. We try to take what life gives to us, though, we don’t know how to handle the situation when it happens; nor do we want to.

I am here to tell you how to support that special someone during their time of need.

When family members are going through the transition period of death they tend to get moody because they are as scared you are. They worry that you won’t be taken care of, or that they are afraid of how you will handle it. Let your family member know that you will be ok no matter what is to happen in the near future.

Don’t always try to be the strong one, let someone else do it for a change. Trying to be the strong one all the time only results in tragedy later on.

Be sure not to argue with your loved one, as they don’t always know what is going on or why they are doing it. Treat your loved one as if nothing is wrong with them. If they see you treating them differently, they tend to worry more. Enjoy the time you have with them now and take things day by day. Stress tends to tire them out quicker than normal.

Tell your loved one how much you love them everyday. This helps not only them but you at the same time. If helps you say what you need to say before time runs out, and lets them know that it is not their fault. Many loved ones feel as if they did something wrong for them to be dying. They need to know that they are still loved no matter what is happening.

Rest! This is a big one, make sure that you rest and your loved one is able to rest too. If you tire yourself out then you won’t be any help to the other person. Not resting tends to make you sick or unable to care for another. Loved ones need rest too so they can keep up their strength.

Find out all the information on your loved ones illness. It may help you understand more of what is wrong and how much longer you can spend with your loved one. You will also know an estimation of how much longer you have with them.

Fulfill last wishes. If you’re loved one has a wish of some sort try to fulfill it. If you are not able to then find something close to it. My mom made me promise to be there till the very end and I found it very hard but I did it. You will be surprised at what you can do as a last wish for someone you love. It may be something very small, but, remember it means something big for them.

Please let your daughter know that we are deeply sorry.. as well as the family. Losing a soldier, or a hero is such a tragic thing.

Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brilliant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel

Answer 8

help her.....heal her heart.....his not really gone but he does live in her heart always. tell her that his always there. i know it sounds corny but i've lost my stepbrother of cancer. i really miss him a lot. he lives in my heart always.