A 14 yr old looks 16/17 wears no make up or slutty clothing, is being grabbed on the butt by her "grandmother" She said that her gran swatted her butt playfully when she was younger. Now she "grabs" her & squeezes it. The girl has just come out with this. She is afraid of her father & grandparents & will do nothing to defend herself around them. Her Mom wants to go to the cops but the girl isn't sure. I think Mom should handle the biotch. The ploice & DCS won't do anything w/out a witness & if the kid won't talk there's nothing they can do. The parents are divorced & she is forced to go to visitation 2x per month & stay w/gran. What can/should Mom do?
2006-09-06 03:36:15 · 20 answers · asked by R P 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
GOOD NEWS!
Mom just called "grandma" and let her have it! If "granny" touches ANY part of the girl's body that makes her feel uneasy, the police will be taking her to granny jail!!
2006-09-06 04:44:06 · update #1
Even though the mother let granny know what would happen is she touches the daughter again, I would still monitor her. After a little while gran may seem ok & her daughter lets her guard down. Gran tries it again & now the girl might feel like it won't matter is she tells nobody did anything about it the first time.
I would recommed family counseling for all of you, but not w/gran.
2006-09-08 04:32:56 · answer #1 · answered by grrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not neccessarily sexual. The world we live in today finds sexual harrassment in a 5 year old boy hugging a 4 year old girl.
Anyway, my mother playfully swatted our tails like the football players do as we were coming up and every now and then we might get one now.
The grandmother may find it playful and affectionate. How about a very strong and serious "Grandma, I don't like that!" "Stop!" and if the mother wants to handle it she can always say,
"Emily mentioned that you swat her hiney. She said she feels very uncomfortable with it. Could you please not do that?"
I'm sure grandma will be surprised and feel bad she made the kid uncomfortable. If it goes further than that then naturally she should be firmer but no need for outright hostility to start off with.
2006-09-06 10:43:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would go to your local Dept. of Social Services and talk to a case worker there and report the abuse. It might be easier for the 14 yr old to talk to a caseworker rather than a police officer. If a child abuse report is filed then the DSS should take care of notification to the local authorities and will look into contacting the grandmother about the charges.
2006-09-06 10:41:01 · answer #3 · answered by goodbye 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's a tough one. If the girl is uncomfortable around her father and grandparents, definitely she should talk to the authorities about it. My dad always used to pat me on the backside when I was younger, but it was never done in a way that made me feel weird or uncomfortable or abused or molested. At the very least, the girl should have a conversation with her father and grandparents - WITH SOMEONE ELSE PRESENT - and let them know that this behavior makes her very uncomfortable and ask them to respect her wishes and discontinue the practice. If they refuse to accomodate her, then absolutely bring in the authorities!
2006-09-06 10:41:11 · answer #4 · answered by tanibk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to the Grandma and that's not an option, go to the police. They don't need witnesses! Many children and women are molested or even raped with no witlessness and they can still build a strong case. Good luck with that, and I hope it can get resolved quickly!
2006-09-06 10:41:24 · answer #5 · answered by Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All in question need to be confronted. The grandmother has no business putting her hands on the girl whether it be playful or otherwise. This girl needs to grow some hair on her chest and say something. She deserves as much respect as anyone. Something needs to be done before it gets worse. Tell mom to handle her business!
2006-09-06 10:41:27 · answer #6 · answered by gemone523 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, I've been in the same situation as you are in. I knew a 8 yr. old girl that her step-grandfather did the same thing. She came to me one day seeing that no one was doing anything to help her. I called dhs and of course they did nothing (as usual).Her g.ma found out it was me and yes I had to take it into my own hands. I was charged with attempted murder towards her grandmother. Needless to say once the judge found out why I beat her and her old man with a baseball bat, he dropped charges and returned full custody to her biological mother. I'm not saying the best thing to do is to take it that far, but it did work for me. She is now 10 and is loving life!!! Bless all our children!!!
2006-09-06 10:44:09 · answer #7 · answered by Helena H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
man that's a hard one, its hard because its the girls grandmother. Maybe that's how the grandmother was raised. Of course if she doesn't like it then she should say something to her before any *** kicking begins or going to the cops, because that is grama. If shes so scared, have her mom talk to her dad, her dad to her grandmother. If they do talk to her and she keeps doing it I think it should be brought to the cops or so for molestation.
2006-09-06 10:45:23 · answer #8 · answered by EsYoDaddy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree Mom needs to have a talk with grandma first. Then get the police involved if that doesnt' resolve anything.
2006-09-06 10:39:38 · answer #9 · answered by theblackenedphoenix 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The mom needs to tell the grandmother to keep her damn hands off her daughter in that manner and if she resists....beat ole granny's asss and THEN call the cops.
2006-09-06 10:45:20 · answer #10 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋