I have a very nice wife and we have been married for 2 months now. I tried to be spontaneous and she is not all for that. I was getting sex every night before we got married. Now I am lucky to get it once a week. What can I do?
2006-09-06 02:54:12 · 20 answers · asked by theodore.story 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Talk to her, ask her in a different place, not the bedroom. She may just feel performance anxiety or have a different problem. Sex is NEVER a problem....until we stop having it.
2006-09-06 02:59:44 · answer #1 · answered by sweet pea 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Young grasshopper... let me, a veteran of over 20 years of marriage, give you a few helpful hints.
1. The every-night sex was to get you to the altar; say goodbye to those days (nights)... they are gone to never return.
2. If your spontaneous actions are intended to lead to sex... forget it. Try some spontaneous romance and leave it at that. Like the old song says; "Try a little tenderness..." Believe me, it will be hard (excuse the pun) at first, but you've got to hold her, snuggle with her, cuddle on the couch and NOT expect anything past that.
3. Allow your wife to initiate sex from time to time. We KNOW you're going to be ready, so just wait on her to make the first move.
4. Talk it over with her. Express your concerns and desires and then find out what's on her mind. Listen to understand and see if you can agree where you'll both go from there.
5. Go back to wooing her... write her some love letters... call her up in the middle of the day just because... pick her some flowers just out of the blue... run her a hot bath with candles, and wash her back... TRY to shower with her... and don't expect sex in return!
When you have combined all of these actions and you allow her to gradually feed on the vibes you're sending her... what she's gonna lay on you will all be worth the wait!
You have now snatched the pebble...
2006-09-06 10:52:35 · answer #2 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After reading all those replies I must say marriage really isn't that bad! Just tell her how you feel - don't get on her bad side like getting drunk and humiliating her, or like not helping out with the house work. All these things add up the more you help her the more you'll get.... My husband & I have been married for 7 years and so far this week I have got it ever night since Friday! So don't listen to those who say marriage is a bad thing, it is what you make it! and what you do and how you treat her has a lot to do with it, also you got do things you know that get her in the mood, not cheap things or actions but sincere things that come from the heart!
2006-09-06 10:03:42 · answer #3 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There isn't much you can do! My man told me that same thing the night before last, and I told him that I am just not horny and don't need it as much as he does!!!!!!!!! Well, I had sex with him the last 2 night's I don't know what's going on with me I guess there are an abundance of reasons I wasn't in the mood.
1. Financially strapped
2. I don't feel that he invests any Romanticism or finesse (just straight cut oral then inter coarse the routine)
3. I am tired from the annoying step children, busy day at work our baby (she's 1), jogging (tired), and hating the way I look!
4. I don't get an orgasm during inter coarse and (i do though for oral) I am like blah!!!
However, I do love him very dearly and wouldn't cheat I guess things have become mundane and it's feels like we're some old couple!
2006-09-06 10:04:13 · answer #4 · answered by souljagirpart2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your wife and find out what the problem is. If it is her then help her through whatever the problem is and take it slow. Ask her what she liked before you two were married and go from there. Maybe she feels that since she is married she doesn't need to have sex all the time. You two need to communicate don't shut each other out. If you do this it will only make your marriage stronger. The same thing happened to me and my now deceased husband and we got through it and have two beautiful kids a daughter who gave us a step-granddaughter before her dad past away and a son who my husband helped to get just two merit badges away from being an Eagle Scout. I hope things work out for the two of you. Good Luck and Congratulations on the marriage. If you have love and trust then this should work out.
2006-09-06 10:05:36 · answer #5 · answered by stubbornmom2000 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sit down and communicate this to her. Tell her you only expect the stock market to plummet not your sex life.
Tell her what she did before the marriage to make you happy you expect it after the marriage.
Communicate and see why her sex drive has gone down and if it is something you both can work on to bring it up.
You only have been married for 2 months and your seeing a decline as if you have been married for 20 years.
The person who can help your problem is your wife and I hope you communicate how this is bothering you before it lead to other marital problems. Good Luck!
2006-09-06 10:05:30 · answer #6 · answered by words from the heart 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Join the club
2006-09-06 10:16:24 · answer #7 · answered by popi 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go with her for a coffee, drink,or dinner,or walking,shopping,etc.Then try to talk in good,good manners with her.Ask her what is going on.Ask her if is something she does not like about you,she can tell you (do not be angry).Men need to be very careful when talk about sex with women,because women are very fragile; and can easily be hurt in anything you say.You need to be a good sex's doctor.Good luck.
2006-09-06 10:02:14 · answer #8 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Talk to her about it
offer to hear any suggestion that she might have to make sex better and more enjoyable for her
It might be nothing she might be just tired
but since talking never hurt
Talk
2006-09-06 10:05:13 · answer #9 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give her a break ! she might just be a bit tired if she holding a full time job down and doing housework too , give her a change to get used to married life
2006-09-06 10:00:38 · answer #10 · answered by lizella 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋