My ex husband keeps sending me nasty emails, and refuses to let me see my kids... whom I have never hurt.. I just left him so he thinks that being nasty to me I will come back... thing is I am in a great relationship now but my family keeps intefering... any suggestions?
2006-09-06 02:21:36 · 21 answers · asked by Clints_wench 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ok let me explain something my ex would never hurt the kids.. just at the time i was in a bad situation and could not bring my kids... but divorce papers have been filed... so when there is a custody hearing hopefully he will let me see them.. his reason for me not seeing or talking to the kids is because they are little and are hurting enough and do not understand.
2006-09-06 02:39:45 · update #1
Well, you have the right to see your children. I would talk to a lawyer and see what you can do legally if you are getting divorced. As far as the e-mails I would print them out and show them to the lawyer b/c that is harassment.
As far as the other guy just take is slow and one day at a time. You are going thru something very difficult and you do need support but you should be getting that from your family. Your family should stop interfering and help you see your children.
2006-09-06 02:25:45 · answer #1 · answered by Farmgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, what is your custody arrangement. Since you say you just left him, I assume you don't have one yet. Save his emails, in the divorce, assuming there will be one, there will be a custody arrangment. You can use those emails as proof that he is not very cooperative. The judge may order that he could loose his visitation if he does not work with you and allow you to see the children. Specially depending on the content of the emails. If you want to see your children do everything you can, but don't take any drastic measures to get a hold of them if he is not allowing it, that will look bad. Do make sure you try to contact him and express interest in wanting to see them, if you can find a way to record any conversations on the phone. This will be proof that you tried to see them and he would not allow it. Make sure your new bo knows you are done with the relationship so he does not get insecure and let your ex know you really want to see your kids. Don't make threats, don't let him know you are holding onto his emails or recording his conversations. He may just get nastier. Just be polite and don't sink to his level this will all look good in a custody battle if you plan to fight him.
To the person who made the comment about leaving the kids with a man you didn't want to live with. For one, just because you don't love someone anymore does not mean they aren't a good father. For two, when my mom left my dad he got the house cuz he had the job and the money to pay for it, she had to go sleep on someone's couch for a while. She had no place to take the us kids, until she got back on her feet. What choice does a mother have but to do what is best for her kids at the time?
2006-09-06 09:28:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand that your children are hurting, but he needs to open his eyes and see that they are also hurting because he doesn't let them see you or you see them. Talk to him, if not talk to your lawyer about the matter. Most young children are closer to there mothers than to there fathers. You also need to make sure that you are in a relationship you really want to be in. Sometimes being on the rebound makes you do strange things and you tend to fall in love for all the wrong reasons or at least we think we are in love. By the way, if you are still married, you should not be having/have a relationship with someone else other than your spouse or no one. You shouldn't until the divorce is final. At this moment your children come first. You need to make the best for them, then think about yourself. On the other hand, take any advise your family/friends might want to give, 'cause in the long run sometimes they are right. Think about what you really want for you and your children. Just think!
2006-09-06 10:03:28 · answer #3 · answered by laigarval 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have more than a problem...You need to grow up and get your crap together before you even think about taking your kids away from the security of the parent that cared enough to stay. You say that you have never hurt your kids like it is an accomplishment...Normal people do not hurt their children. Leaving a child hurts them...You might be the most selfish woman on here... I hope what that man is giving you is worth being the loser that your children will eventually figure you out to be...Again grow up and get your priorities straight. The best relationship would be one that cherished and nurtured your kids....DUH!!!
2006-09-06 09:46:17 · answer #4 · answered by shelli552003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it to the courts to get to see your kids..
men don't think about this you can tell. if he thinks being nasty to you will get you to come back.. why does he think that you divorced him?
are you divorced or are you going through a divorce. you say you just left him.. and your already have a new relationship going. were you screwing around to begin with. not good but his being nasty don't help.. you need to get the courts to set up visitatioin..
and tell you family to butt out of your life that you know what you are doing? it isn't there place.
thing is you people never tell the whole story so go tell it to a lawyer and get help or do something to deal with him on your own.
2006-09-06 09:42:30 · answer #5 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your lawyer about the visitation schedule set up in the divorce if your ex isn't letting you see the kids, especially if you are paying your child support on time.
Your family loves you and wants to see you do the right things and not get hurt, that's why they interfere.
2006-09-06 09:25:39 · answer #6 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't respond to his emails but save them back, you never know when they might come in handy. Ignore those that want to interfere and concentrate on getting the divorce and seeing your kids. Make sure the judge knows what your soon to be ex is up too.
2006-09-06 09:44:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd block him, or take a new emailaccount.
you have a legal right to see your kids and I advice you to see a lawyer about what steps to take
it's your life, live it for yourself and your kids. Did your family ever help you with your ex-husband? I think that there's a reason that he's your ex right?
2006-09-06 09:49:36 · answer #8 · answered by lievedebs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to court over the children... WHy aren't they in your custody? Don't they normally go to the mother, with father having weekend visitation or whatever? Are you actually divorced? If not, maybe thats why he won't let you see the kids...
He probably doesn't want another man raising his children... So, if you aren't divorced get one...and if you are, then figure out who gets custody of the babies...
2006-09-06 09:24:58 · answer #9 · answered by sour_apple 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You left your kids with a man you didn't want to live with? I'd send you nasty e-mails also. Sounds a bit selfish on your side. I'd never leave my kids with someone I couldn't live with. But then, I care about my kids.
2006-09-06 09:25:03 · answer #10 · answered by Chloe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋