Okay this question might sound harsh but at least I'm going to be honest, right?!? I have a daughter, she's eighteen months. I love her but sometimes I cannot stand her...she cries around and I don't know she's like a little brat for some reason. My mother mostly takes care of her...while I work and party (I only party on the weekends...my mom didn't want me to miss out on "the best years of my life") Well I just found out that I'm pregnant...AGAIN! It's my boyfriends of course...well I'm pretty sure it is. And well...I don't know if I should abort it or give it up for adoption. Like, I want a big family but come on, I just turned nineteen! It's such a hard choice...I want to have an abortion (I wanted to have one with my daughter but my mom convinced me to have her) but if I do...my mom probably won't help out with my beautiful daughter anymore because she's against it. But I don't want to give my baby up for adoption...I don't think I could do that. What should I do??
2006-09-06 01:58:37 · 17 answers · asked by CeCe 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Do what you need to do...figure it out. Your nineteen...it's time to start acting like a BIG girl!
2006-09-06 02:03:52 · answer #1 · answered by .vato. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok this is gonna sound harsh but its the truth you need to be responsible and either keep your legs closed or get on birthcontrol or use a condom or something because obviously you are not mature enough to handle a baby if your mom is the one who takes care of her most of the time get your life together and stop sleeping around and partying there is so much more to life I say dont have an abortion once the baby is born put it up for adoption no matter what your mom says unless shes gonna take custody of it because you shouldnt have children it should go to someone who is gonna love it and take care of it and not think its just a pain ruining there life there are many women out there who are trying to have beautiful babies and cant and that would love a baby in the long run it would be way better for the babies any way then to stay with an immature non caring mother.If this offends you just know its because the truth hurts.
2006-09-06 09:09:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, this answer might sound harsh, but at least I'm going to be honest.
Change your attitude. There are consequences to sleeping around and you are going to have to live with them.
If you want a big family, well, you're certainly on the right road, but you aren't going about it the right way. Find a steady boyfriend/husband, and commit to your children instead of thinking that it's okay to still be partying and sleeping with a different guy every time you go out.
Stop being a baby, look after your children and get them raised properly.
And don't have an abortion. That is really selfish, you really should have thought about the risk of getting pregnant and taken proper precautions. if your mature enough to be having sex, then you should be mature enough to handle children too. Don't play the game unless you are happy with the rules.
You got yourself into this mess, now deal with it like an adult. Why do you think you don't have it in you to have your new child adopted out, but you have it in you to MURDER it???
2006-09-06 09:29:05 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Pamela♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, first I'm going to start by NOT judging you. You got yourself into one hell of a mess and that's that.
Second, I'm going to say that I'm against abortion because I feel it's outright murder. I know plenty of people disagree and I respect their opinion, I just thought I should put out a disclaimer.
I could take the hard line....you got yourself into this mess so deal with it but I don't think they will help you any.
Your have three choices:
1. Give up some of the fun in your life and commit to your two children.
2. Have an abortion
3. Give the baby up for adaption
It seems like option one is not a reality for you just yet, maybe in a few years you'll be ready but you need some time first.
Option two is not much of an option for me because like I said before, I think it's murder, so there's no point in me discussing that
Option three seems like the best way to go. Perhaps you have another family member that would consider adopting your children for the next few weeks and then when you're ready you can bring them home to you. At least you can be sure that you get to see your children. Another idea is for you to sit down with your mother and explain how you feel and give her a time line in which you'll guarantee to "take over" in two or three years.
Regardless of your decision, I wish you the best of luck and hope you can pull yourself out of this.
2006-09-06 11:32:30 · answer #4 · answered by maae10 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have some serious issues!!! I had my first child at 13, I never imagined having an abortion because it's just not right to take a child's life for the mistakes that I made. I went through the pregnancy and kept my son. He's now 8 and bright as can be. Anyway, give the baby up for adoption! And the child you already have let your mom take care of her. What kind of mother tells people that she can't stnd her kid?! You're nothing but a slut anyway. If you would have kept your legs closed to begin with you wouldn't have this problem!
2006-09-06 09:11:00 · answer #5 · answered by sparkles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would rather kill the child than give it to some one who will love it? I am not trying to be mean, but I don't understand it. I had my son when I was 18. I got pregnant with him on my 18 birthday, even with protection. I guess someone just wanted him to be. I understand what you mean about the crying all the time. My son is like that too. He got a head start on the terrible two's. If I was you, I would give it up for adoption. There are different forms of it. Nothing is final, if you decide to keep it, you can, but I would seriously think about adoption. I love my son, I was thinking about abortion with him, but I couldn't do it. I was still in high school, and the father was 36 years old. We are married and are planning to extend our family in a few months. But give the child up for adoption, it is better that way. Someone who can't have children would love a chance to have one and love them. A child is a child, no matter how small. I hope I help in any way. Good luck.
2006-09-06 09:09:50 · answer #6 · answered by gin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem. I NEVER wanted to be a mom at all. But found my self in that same situation. I didn't abort! I love my girl now 13. But Please give the children a chance of a full life and give them up to a caring family. There are so many loving couples (like my sister who has had 12 miscarriages) that cant have children of their own. Please take the time to contact an agency and set up an arrangement for someone to adopt your children.
An by all means get your tubes tied when you want and are ready to have children then the process can be reversed.
2006-09-06 09:12:25 · answer #7 · answered by jen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know what your asking but why didnt you take precautions the second time round? Right first things first:
You need to talk to a professional about this, a doctor maybe, that way, youll know all your options. And as for the selfish thing, i dont think you are being selfish, i think you are being just honest with yourself, its not just about you, but you are think of he baby too. Would you be able to bring it up and give it all the love it needs? If not, could you really give it up for adoption? I think you really need to sit down and think it through. The time is ticking and asking people on here isnt going to give you any real answers, it has to come from within. Only you know what to do. Either way, i wish you all the best, good luck!!
2006-09-06 09:09:45 · answer #8 · answered by fleurt82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, the fact that you kinda get angry when your little girl cries a lot... it is called Post Maternal Stress. It does exist. i think that you should go for some counseling, just to help you to make the right choices. OK, and then the new unborn baby.... tell your boyfriend that you are pregnant, sit down with him and figure out TOGETHER what you want to so! You can't abort the baby without his consent! Also talk to your mom!!!!!
2006-09-06 09:10:32 · answer #9 · answered by Fairy-Princess 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are finding it hard to cope with the baby you have now, like you said you still like to go out and party and the baby you have now isn't really spending that much time with you, if you have another it most likely that your mom wont take care of both, and its not her job to anyway, if you decide to have this baby your going to have to straighten you life out and make sacrifices for your children if not having an abortion is an option and its your right, remember its something you cannot change but in the future it might stop you from making wrong decisions.
2006-09-06 09:09:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need more than just help from your mother and from people here on the internet. You need to seek professional help with your current child and professional help and advise with your pregnancy.
First of all you need to be a mother to your child, nineteen or not you are a mother and it is your responsibility to care and provide and love your child, NOT your mothers!!!!!
Stop having unprotected sex if you are not ready to have more children, which it doesn't sound like you wanted the one you have. Please seek professional help with this. There are a lot of people who would be willing to help you and get you on the right track to being a good parent for your child.
Here are a few websites to start with.
http://www.teenbreaks.com
http://www.abortionfacts.com
http://www.iahp.org
http://www.positiveparenting.com
2006-09-06 09:10:31 · answer #11 · answered by Ang 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋