my husband asked me if i would...?

Question

have sex with another couple. I'm talking about getting another married couple and switching partners. I really didn't answer his question I kinda changed the subject. All he said is that if we did something like it would change him. I really don't know what to say to him.

Answer 1

I think if you did something like that it would change you both... into an ex-husband and ex-wife.

My parents tried to bring a little zip into their marriage (at my father's suggestion) back in the 70's the same way. They wound up divorced because he was far more attached to the woman than my mother was to the man and during "private time", my dad and the other wife were all hot and heavy and my mom and the husband were running errands and taking us kids to the movies and stuff.

There's no room in marriage for another woman or man, much less a whole couple. If your husband is that unhappy... that he thinks having sex with other people will fix his attitude or anything else... then you guys need to run, not walk, to the nearest qualified marriage counselor/couples therapist and if he can't find a way to be satisfied within your marriage, he needs to leave it... or you need to make the decision yourself.

Men especially always think the grass is going to be greener, but all he's looking for is probably a bit of excitement. Once you've had sex with someone else... you've effectively destroyed your marriage. The trust is gone, the respect is gone, the security is gone, the privacy is gone... you can't get that back. It's broken. He doesn't even realize the damage he's done by even suggesting this. Might not hurt to tell him what you're feeling inside about his suggestion.

Answer 2

Let me tell you this my opinion is the swingers is the biggest excused to have sex with others irresponsibly, if you love your wife or husband you don't need to swing it with any one, swingers don't love their couples or their selves, if I was you I wouldn't accept this, a wife isn't a car, golf clubs, wrench or nothing of the sort that you can borrow away when ever you want, a wife is the person you promised to love for ever and to protect, Is it giving away protection? I don't think so. Show him how valuable you are by denying to take part in his idea. If he really loves you he'll find other ways to change routine without risking your matrimony.

Answer 3

Tell him that if you did something like that it would change you too - and not in a good way.

There are thousands or couples out there that swing, but in my opinion it has no business in a healthy relationship.

Maybe you can tell him you don't want to do that (if you really don't) and offer some other suggestions to enhance or liven up your sex life.

Answer 4

I would tell him that you aren't ready for that kind of marriage. If you aren't that is. If you are ready, then go for it.
But if you both are interesed in swinging, i think you need to really look at your marriage. Are you unhappy, is he? Is there an underlying reason why you feel that swinging is okay for you?
Most couples that swing aren't really happy or satisfied in their relationships. There are a few that truly love each other and the swinging is just their way of having "fun".
Choose what's right for you. Good Luck to you!

Answer 5

If you are not comfortable being with another man while you husband is present, or prepared to see your husband with another woman, then say NO!

He may be bored with the sex life you and he has created. Find somethings to pice it up a little, talk to him, visit a adult toy store together, etc ...

Answer 6

All you husband was is to spice up your marriage, some couple decide on going on vacations and stuffs like that but in your case i think he believes sex is what will do the trick. I think this is a big risk in your marriage think twice.

Answer 7

well it all depends upon ur relationship with ur hubby if tis going on well and u r hopeful for a happy future maried life with him then u must ask ur hubby what prompted him to ask u such question and secondly i wont say to do it or not, its up to you if u find it interesting then u should if u dont then u try to ask ur hubby to not talk about it again, such couplings could go on well, if its limited but if tis getting bigger and bigger chain then some problems may b there so b wise take ur time ponder over it thoroughly with open mind and then decide

Answer 8

I suggest you discuss this with him deeply and specifically. Some men enjying watching their wives with others, some just want to swap. Whats key is the reason he wants this and what would it change for him. I've seen this work for the better and for the worse in a marraige. If you like more specifics ask.

Answer 9

He really does not love you.He want to have your permission to do that,because he want it.When you have sex with other people: you really become a public woman (like a bad girl).After you do sex in that way,you are not a wife in the meaning of the word.Some women become hookers after have sex many times with other couples(swinging couples).They become hookers,wife anymore.Some marriages destroy the marriage.If you really love your marriage: do not do it.

Answer 10

Sounds like your husband wants to experience with other woman. and thinking if you agreed to this he could have his cake and eat it too. Sounds like you need to get serious help if you want to stay in this marriage. Don't do it, do you think watching your husband with another woman, or man won't change your relationship? Think again.