I have sole legal/physical custody of my 2 sons. My ex tried to get them, but just ended up with the newer version of standard visitation. We had already made changes to our old agreement with no problem. (5pm instead of 6pm, met at a different location than ordered.) This new arrangement has 6pm as the exchange time again, and a different location than we were using before.
What I want is this: 1- I want the ex to be the one who has to come get the boys. he always sends his girlfriend. in 4 yrs, hes picked them up himself maybe 5% of the time. I have had someone go for me maybe twice. 2- I want them to come to our house to get the boys.
Here's the exceptions: I'm willing to let gf pick them up if they come to the house, but if I've gotta take them to him, I want him to pick them up.
Verbal agreements have been made fairly easily in the past. But he wants to be a d*ck, so if I get him to agree to some version of what I want, I want him to sign it.
2006-09-05 22:30:07 · 6 answers · asked by tonysdoll815 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How do I make our agreement legally binding? If I get him to sign a paper between us, is that binding? Or do I have to get it signed in front of a notary or have it drawn up by my lawyer? Or can I just take the paper to the courthouse and have it filed as part of the divorce?
2006-09-05 22:33:28 · update #1
i dont have another $3000 to spend just to make this agreement. If i thought I could stop him from seeing the boys at all, I'd come up with the money somehow, but I dont see spending that kind of money for a simple agreement. (and before anyone gets on my case about him not seeing the boys at all------ he drunks, does drugs, has serious anger management issues, etc. These are things I know for fact because I was with the sob for 7 yrs, but, if you watch tv, you know it only matters what you can prove in court. My word against his isnt enough)
2006-09-05 22:49:05 · update #2
Then stand your ground! I think in your agreement, it should specify something to the fact like: "The father will pick up... the father will meet at this location... the mother will meet... etc." If his girlfriend shows up to pick the boys up, don't let them go with her, it's just that simple. He wants his sons, but he can't even drive to pick them up or drop them off... that's some B.S. right there, unless he's working or something.
Verbal agreements are okay, but overtime memories seem to get foggy and misconstrued. Write it up how you would like the agreement to consist of; sign in front of a notary and see if the court will accept it as a legal document.
2006-09-06 03:22:10 · answer #1 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guess you don't want to bend for him no matter what. He pick them up, he drop them off. As far as his girlfriend being there for the drop off. That is a no no. Exchange is to be with certain people that both agree to. If you do not agree to girlfriend then you shouldn't have let her take them. You have already let so what you have done in the past will have to stay the same.
All the other stuff you stated if you two can agree on something then that is OK and you do not have to go to court. In fact courts would rather have you to work it as parents then have them decide for you. Since you two cant agree on anything you will have to go to a lawyer and he will have to contact your ex and make changes in your agreement and put in in writing. You and your ex will have to sign. Then you both will have to follow and not make changes. If you and ex cant come to agreement you will have to go back to court and what the court comes up with will be mandatory for both of you. No and if or buts about it.
Last. For the sake of your two sons you and your ex need to bury the hatchet. If you both don't your sons will resent one of you or possibly both of you.
Be parents first and do what is best for the boys. Keep your and your ex's feelings out of it. The boys need you both.
2006-09-06 05:45:08 · answer #2 · answered by Mit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If Verbal agreements have been fairly easy in the past, I really see No reason to Fret Now, But if you insist on His Signature of agreement, I'd definitely at least do the 'Notary thing... and by the Way, I don't think your asking to much! Good Luck....Kelly* Keep up the Hard work with your Boys!!!!!
2006-09-06 06:46:24 · answer #3 · answered by kellylewis652000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do whatever you want with your children as long as you both agree. The only benefit that court papers have are that they are legal and documented. If you have both come to a verbal agreement then go with it, the only time that courts should get involved is if they are disputes in you original arrangement.
2006-09-06 06:31:18 · answer #4 · answered by mcbaby98284 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, he can send anyone he wants to pick up the kids in his place. Within reason anyhow. It's perfectly acceptable for him to send his girlfriend. You can ask him to change the location of the pick up to your home. That shouldn't be a problem unless he's traveling a long distance to get there. Most child support agencies have the paperwork for a change of visitation. You can fill it out yourself and file it with the court house. The can tell you how to do it, and it generally doesn't mean court unless the other part decides to fight it.
Good Luck.
2006-09-06 07:51:35 · answer #5 · answered by Mary J 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it was me I would go to court. If you dont and you get him to sign something get it notorized so it is a legal document. What you want sounds pretty resonable if he cant see that then he is an idiot. I think in situations like this it is best to tell your side to a judge and let him decide
2006-09-06 05:41:51 · answer #6 · answered by Jay 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋