Before married he told me, he won't me go to work. And if something happen to our married he won't share anything. that is mean i go out from his house without anything. which i agree.
my husband won,t me go to work. He give me some money if i want to buy something.
But what should i do now? how if oneday he divorce me, n i don't have any chance to find a job. I am 34 now. I got no house. I am so worry.
I did talk about this. He said, you did agree. if you are unhappy, go back to your mom because i wont change my mind.
2006-09-05 22:11:41 · 27 answers · asked by xx 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
my husband wouldn't let me work either, i spent almost 30 years raising our 3 kids. when they left home, i tried and am still trying to find work, i attended school. (in computers) , got a certificate to operate a forklift. put in applications all over the place. not just once but repeatedly, But no one wants to hire a 50 year old woman with no job skills, or experience when they can hire some pretty little thing that is still in school. Take my advice, find and keep a job while you are still able to. Don't get left behind like me.
2006-09-05 22:46:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are marred and you love him, so don't leave him because he has strong views, if he gives you all the money you need use some for a home schooling program so you can get a job when its all over, or if you already have a college degree then just wait, it might work out.
On the other hand if he barley lets you make any decisions on you own that aren't economic, then you should stress freedom of choice to him, but also realize that he told you that that was his thing, so you walked into this situation ( no offense meant)
SO in short invest or put away some of the money he gives you so that way you have something to fall back on if it caves in.
2006-09-05 22:30:11 · answer #2 · answered by Dylan F 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok sounds like he is a older wealthy man? Did you agree on paper like a prenup? if nothing is on paper and depending on what state u r in depends if the law will let u have anything. Did you marry for money? and now u r not happy? Are you unhappy in your marriage or just bored cause neither one of you work and u r with each other all the time? You are 34 and no matter what you need to work on yourself. work on a further education or get a full time job. Just because he has money does not give him the right to make u feel inferior to him, he should make u feel like his love of his life if you are married. Try marriage counsoling if needed but why r u worried about getting anything outta this marriage instead of working on the marriage? Get out and make some friends u will feel better. Did he leave u in his will? Good luck feel free to email me if you want. God bless.
2006-09-05 23:19:52 · answer #3 · answered by hubbys2ndbest2000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you sign anything? If you have signed a pre-nuptual agreement you need to get hold of a copy and study it. See what clauses are put in about the marriage ending. If you did divorce and he started it you should be entitled to half of everything. As for getting a job, just go and do it. Get some volunteer work at a charity shop, he can't object as you will not get paid, then move to a paid job once you have some experience. He cannot divorce you because you have a job. Your husband is a bully and the best way to beat a bully is to stand up to them.
2006-09-05 22:16:37 · answer #4 · answered by Ria K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You always have your mom.
Are you sure you love this man?
It sounds like you do not love this man and he really does not love you.
Where are you from? I am not sure what kind of opportunities you have for work and education but if I were you I would start looking into them.
I would also keep a room ready at my moms house.
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And dont listen to these women telling you to try to "take half of everything". Nothing angers a man more than a female hiding behind legal loopholes trying to get over. Depending on where you live, that may get you killed.
Give him everything he had and you take what you came with and if you decide to go back to your moms.
2006-09-05 22:15:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not being particularly reasonable, but then nor should you have agreed to that.
He has put himself into a dominant position, restricting you access to money and trapping you into the relationship. This position will only get worse as you get older and less able to develop you own career should you want to.
Does he actually articulate a reason as to why he wants it this way?
You have two options; both of you go to counselling, leave him
Or a third I suppose; stay with him and deal with it.
2006-09-05 22:15:06 · answer #6 · answered by Felidae 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he is in an upper hand. Your husband is worth **** and not a gentleman type. I wonder does he really love you. He has no respect in you. I say if you are an dependent type of lady then tell him to find someone else. Actually I wanna you to tell him go **** yourself. However in case you are stuck with him then you don' t have much choice. Especially if you have his children, then just have to bear with it for the sake of the children.
2006-09-05 22:24:10 · answer #7 · answered by Rod 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My first suggestion would be to get a better education,then perhaps you'd develop skills an employer might find valuable.English is obviously a second language. I don't know where you reside, but if it's the U.S. that would be the first course I'd enroll in.
2006-09-05 22:19:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are u still with him, u are an adult! do what u want just coz ur married doesn't mean he has totally controll over u!, why doesnt he want u to have any independence, is he scared youl realise wot a loser he is and fine someone who will treat u better, stand up for urself, good luck xxx
2006-09-06 01:06:55 · answer #9 · answered by claire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
did you agree to this in writing?
aren't there divorce laws to protect people like you?
i don't know where you're from, so i can't help more there
get out, leave him, go back to mom if that's the only answer
2006-09-05 22:16:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋