How does being sexually abused effect the person as an adult?

Question

this person is not an abuser themselves

Answer 1

Generally the assault is suppressed but the emotion does come out at times. Generally, they keep it a secret and deal with the scars.

Answer 2

I could answer your question, and give you every possible scenario of what can and will take place, and I can tell you how to be a survivor and not a lifetime victim.
I could give you what Society thinks they know, or I can tell you how I survived severe trauma at the hands of my own Father.
I will offer some of the issues that I have personally at the age of 50, and then I will offer how I cope with them.
Bad startle reflex. No one can stand behind me. I sleep on a bed without the frame. My closet doors must be closed. I have to have a night lite. I sit with my back to walls. I have a food addiction...I was an alcoholic..I suffer from anxirty..depression..was diagnosed with Post Tramatic Stress Disorder before they knew what it was..I have so many "triggers" it would be impossible to list here. For example the smell of old spice has sent me into a panic attack, and my Father has been dead for 13 years.
Do I still have these symptoms? Sometimes. Not as severe as they once were. I tried counseling for years, it did nothing but play on my ability to remain a victim, and I would not suggest it to anyone. The one thing that has helped me cope is my acceptance that I needed a Savior. Once I did that, I was able to forgive my Father, even though he was dead before I did it. Forgiveness is for the one doing the forgiving, not so much for the abuser. I did it for me, so I wouldn't carry around the guilt,shame, fear for the rest of my life. I still struggle with certain issues...But I refuse to give into depression, it is self centered and I have a family that needs me...I look forward..not back..I pray that you or whoever you wrote the question for will do the same thing...You are God's creation...He did not do the evil...The evil was done by the abuser...I would be more than happy to speak to you via email if you would so desire...May you find peace...

Answer 3

Well Natalie, the question to ask is "will this person confront the abuser and attempt to take control of his/her life". A person very dear to me was taken advantage of when they were younger, and the biggest side effect that I have seen from not finding closure is detatchment from intimate feelings. Not just sex, but love, hate, anger, sadness... especially love. If this abuse is a large part of you life that continues for extended periods, especially at a younger age, it changes how you interperate feelings. It changes the way you associate actions with emotions. If sex was a way for you to get things that you want for a long time, then even when you meet the "MR/MRS Right" you will still use sex as a tool. I would advise soul searching, acknowledgement that there is the possibility of a problem, and seeking advice from profesionals not as an admition to fault, but as insurance that later on in life, if a problem is there, you won't have to admit that it's your fault that the mental damage got as bad as it did.

Answer 4

Sexual abuse is the worse thing a person could ever be subject to.

Girls who are moderately abused at a very young age and have below average intelligence usually end up becoming prostitutes.

Those with higher levels of intelligence usually continue sexual adventures and may use sex as a tool for gratification or financial gain. The abuse may continue through them to their offspring or other happless 'victims'.

As a person grows, it is extremely important that the 'finer' senses be tuned...constructive thinking, social value, responsibility, competitive advantage, besides skills necessary to get ahead in this competitive world.

Those subject to sexual abuse do not get to go through these and end up as wrecks or preverts, though some may even get ahead in life (financially at least!).

Answer 5

The man I love was sexually abused by male relatives from the time he was an infant, until he was a teenager and he put a stop to it. But it was too late - the damage was already done!

By the time I came along, he was already in his early thirties, and had tried relationships with women a few times, but they had all failed. He was, and IS, totally convinced of his gayness. Furthermore, he likes them as YOUNG as legally possible. What he's doing is perpetuating the cycle he grew accustomed to growing up. Just as HE was the object of perverted desire, now he, himself sees MUCH younger males as the target of HIS lust

I spent - or should I say, WASTED - the past almost 10 years of my OWN life, trying to make him see that he wasn't "born" gay as he claims - he was MADE that way through childhood sexual abuse! I really hoped and prayed that somehow, some WAY, through my everlasting patience and devotion to him, he would someday realize the truth. I thought for a LONG time that eventually I could tear those "walls" down, and make him see that LOVE should outweigh his compulsion to relive his past by passing these perverse tendencies on to the NEXT generation.

Unfortunately, those scars run too deep. After nearly 10 years of SEEING - but not being able to physically TOUCH him - we mutually decided to go our separate ways just last week. I think he COULD change - and overcome this - IF he WANTED bad enough to TRY. HE thinks he was "born" gay, and I should just accept him for "who he is". Apparently, we will NEVER see eye-to-eye on this. So I must finally admit defeat.

But he is losing out, as well. He knows I love him more than anyone else ever has. Surely, deep down, he must also know I love him a lot more than any "little boy" EVER WILL! So he threw my love away for something he's NEVER going to find - a lasting, meaningful relationship. His perception of what a "relationship" should be is grossly distorted.

I personally think his "gayness" is really a manifestation of a very badly deep-rooted fear of INTIMACY. That's what terrifies him. He's even admitted to me at times that with a GUY he can just "mess around" - and then when it's over, they can just zip up and act like NOTHING EVER HAPPENED! That's the "denial" factor that's been played out again & again with all his young "friends" that he CLAIMED were "straight". It's a little "game" they all play - admit NOTHING; therefore, "nothing" is really going on!!! Sick!

It breaks my heart that his childhood abuse has ruined him sexually for life. In his twisted thinking, HETEROsexual relations are "abnormal". All his wires are CROSSED!

I just hope that after all these years (we were like a "real" couple in every OTHER way, except for the sex part) - that I can get on with my life and find someone new I can love. A NORMAL man, who is NOT turned-off by having NORMAL man-woman relations. But he's gonna be a tough act to follow, because he was EVERYTHING I ever wanted - all except for that ONE thing!!!!!

This is a VERY complex subject obviously. Why some people get past it, while others seem to EMBRACE it, is a total mystery to me. And it makes me very very sad.

Answer 6

The pain is still there and u have nightmares.Its worse when your kids are at the age you were when u got abused.it brings all of those terrible memories come back to you.you just break down and cry and pick your self up and keep living.If u stop living the perv wins and no one that has been abused whats that to happen.We want to win !!!!

Answer 7

Makes it harder for them to trust people. Makes it harder for them to let others get close to them in a relationship. Its always good to seek counseling when you are sexually abused cause its something no one should have to deal with on their own.

Answer 8

it affects the person as an adult in a very big way.it affects their self esteem and they feel like they can trust no one!!! counseling may help sometimes but they always have that feeling of doubt on who they can trust not to hurt them. it is a very hard and emotional thing to overcome.

Answer 9

It can make it hard to trust. It can make sexual relationships difficult, because you associate sex with the feelings about the abuse you suffered.

Answer 10

It's often been found that people who abuse children were themselves abused as children, so the abuse continues.