My wife is almost obese (150 lbs). How do I get her @ss to lose some weight.?

Question

I figure she would be thin from having to chase a kid around all day and cook and clean.

She is 5' 8".

Answer 1

Let her beat you for an hour a day.

Anyone who thinks my answer is harsh should read this guy's other questions.

Answer 2

Firstly, you should consider HER feelings and happiness. Is she content with the way she looks? Does she eat healthy or at least eat a full variety and spread of foods? At five foot eight, 150 pounds is nowhere near "obese". When I weighed 150 pounds (I'm five foot six) you could still see my ribs.

Secondly, you sound like you need to consider your own view of your wife. Perhaps some counseling is in order, as you appear not to appreciate your wife and her daily sacrifice for you and your family. She raises your child, she maintains the home and she puts dinner on the table in the very real and literal sense. These are things you should appreciate, not use as reasons why she should be 100 pounds, rail thin and without substance.

Frankly, I applaud your wife for doing all these things, maintaining a healthy weight and not succumbing to her husband's ill-kept notions that a woman should be a stick figure to be attractive.

If your wife honestly believes, without you pressuring or insulting her, that she is in need of weight loss, the first step I would suggest would be to cut these following items out of habit and diet:

No smoking, soda or juice from concentrate.
No pre-packaged cookies.
No pre-made frozen dinners.

Things I *would* suggest:

Buy her a pedometer. Have her wear it from the time she wakes up until she's laying down to go to bed. Then have her show you how many steps it counted. The next day YOU wear it and show her how many steps YOU took. You may be suprised to see the difference. Though it would require a certain honesty and respect on your part, which I have this gut feeling you lack.

Buy a Pilates kit for beginners. I just started Pilates and it's absolutely amazing. Don't scrimp on the kit either, go for the good kit with a mat that is at least 1/2 inch thick. I'd also suggest investing in liquid oxygen, which can be added to water, allowing more oxygen to absorb into her blood making her body work more efficiently.

But wait.. here's the most important part.

BE SUPPORTIVE OF HER!

Emotionally battering her will not help her lose weight, believe me I know from experience. My ex-husband was the type of guy who would tell me everything that was physically wrong with me, but would binge drink and *never* worked out, *never* lifted a finger around the house.

If you love your wife and value her and your relationship to her as a friend, lover, and husband, be supportive, be emotionally available to her, and hopefully one day you'll realize her worth and beauty for what it truly is. She's got to be one hell of a woman to stick with a boorish man like you who believes 150lbs. to be obese.

Answer 3

You - in your not understanding her situation - would think that having a child to care for and cleaning and cooking to do, she would be thin. What people don't always realize, though, is that if a person is tired and has to keep going no matter what (the way the mother of a young child or children does when she has the children to care for and all the cleaning and cooking to do), she may be so tired that she may eat something like a cookie or have a cola or two in order to boost her energy so that she can keep going.

If there are stresses in her life (money worries, elderly parents to worry about, an issues in the marriage, or having things like needing to get the car repaired and get the dog to the vet and get the child to the pediatrician, opthamologist and allergist, and shop for groceries and clothing for the child, etc. etc.) these may add to her "mental exhaustion" which always turns into genuine physical exhaustion. Most people see that while a man may be able to sleep on the sofa after work or go the bed and sleep for six or seven hours, women are often the ones who are up doing housework after the child is asleep or up paying bills or even just up trying to have an hour or so to relax.

There is no time off for most mothers who also do the house-cleaning and whatever else. There are no holidays or weekends. Often there aren't even any lunch hours in which she'd have the time to order up a salad and a tea without sugar.

She probably also feels really rotten about herself at this point, and if, by any chance, you've been adding to how rotten she feels that isn't helping.

When a person is very stressed out for too long they actually get to a point where their adrenal gland no longer gives out sufficient levels of cortisol (which gives people some "false energy" under stress), and when that happens the person becomes physically exhausted. This condition causes people to crave salt and sugar, and the cravings are fierce. Even if your wife hasn't reached the stage of real adrenal fatigue, from what I understand the elevated levels of cortisol that result from stress before the adrenal gland can't give it off any longer makes people hungry and makes fat tend to accumulate. I guess its got to do with the evolutionary hardwiring that makes the person who is stressed out (i.e., feeling threatened) react in a way that will make them store fat that they may need.

I have no way to know if your wife has a calm, serene, wonderful existence with your child and you or whether she has no financial worries or other stresses. I do, however, know that "chasing a kid around" and cooking and cleaning are demanding and, by themselves, could be stressing her out.

Have you ever known any couples who are both kind of heavy, and when they separate they both get thin? That isn't always because they're looking for a new partner. Sometimes its because they were so miserable together and having the life sucked out of them so much they would eat for energy.

I have noticed that very often there will be two people sharing a home, and one is thin while the other is heavy. They don't have to be a couple. They can be sisters, friends, a parent and child, anything.... Very often it becomes clear that in this duo one does all the work and all the worrying while the other is a little more aggressive, a little more selfish, a little more messy, and more than a little more unwilling to do his/her share of work. Sometimes one person even gives more and cares more emotionally than the other does. It is usually the heavier person who does all the giving and working and worrying and the thin person who just kind of sits back and reaps the benefits of the other's efforts.

You should maybe have a decent, thoughtful, sensitive conversation with your wife to ask her if this kind of thing may be the cause of her needing to eat or drink more calories than she'd like to (and I can pretty much assure you she'd rather take in fewer calories and be thinner and feel attractive, but she may be battling her own chemistry and find if she stops eating or drinking the calories she won't be able to have the energy to think straight or do what she needs to do). and maybe don't use the word, "***", when you're talking to her or about her.

If she says she's absolutely fine and non-stressed out and full of energy without eating any cookies or drinking cola (and maybe even is happy with how she looks right now) then I suspect you have to either accept that or not.

Most people with a weight problem are struggling with it and with things going on with their chemistries that are beyond their control. If the person, herself or himself, hasnt solved the weight problem its very likely someone else can't either. Most people would choose to be thin if it were as simple as some non-stressed-out and exhausted people think it is.

If she says its the exhaustion thing or the stress thing then talk with her about what you can do to help ease the stress and exhaustion.

One more point: If, by any chance, money is an issue in your home she may be eating things like pasta or crackers because they're cheap and filling. Its nice for people to have a tangerine and a salad for dinner, but neither of those gives a person that blast of energy that pasta does.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

That is not fat nor obese. The diet charts are pretty skewed. I'm a little worried about your view of her. She may be experiencing some stress and be unhappy, and perhaps she has gained some weight because she's of that (many women tend to "feed" their emotions--not unusual at all). If so, she needs your love, kindness and support, not your criticism. But if she is ready to lose a little weight, even though she DOES NOT have a lot to use according to the information you've provided, I highly recommend Weight Watchers. It's the healthiest approach. But talk to her about it in a gentle and concerned way if it's that important to you.

Answer 6

My,you ARE an insensitive little spanner aren't you-never mind what YOU figure,I figure the lady should lose YOU first,then lose weight if and when the lady wants too-i also figure that YOU should join all the other insensitive little spanners in the same tool box.YOU married this lady,now you are demeaning and insulting her??Wow,you are so sad.

Answer 7

The truely best way is by leaving your butt on the curb. That way she can find someone who appreciates her and she wants to look good for. Pal your disgusting and have bigger issues than can be solved here!

Just the humble opinion of a real man.

Answer 8

You have posted this "question" previously - are you running out of disgusting material???

Anyway, she needs to stop by the divorce attorney's office on her way to the gym and kick your fat butt to the curb! Instant loss of unwanted weight!

Answer 9

150lbs is not obese. Do you tell her how pretty she is? How much you love her? The better she feels about herself, the more she will want to loose the weight. Give her a break

Answer 10

I'm 140 and 5'7, do you think I'm nearly obease? I'm a size 8, size 5 at suzy shier, I don't think I'm obese at all.

Answer 11

5'8" and 150 pounds is a normal healthy weight for a woman. You are retarded.