Forgiveness. How do YOU achieve it within your social, personal and professional relationships ?

Question

What is necessary for you to achieve forgiveness of others? Is it easier for you to carry a grudge than make peace? If so, why?

Answer 1

doing something for the person I need to forgive helps me a lot.

Answer 2

I try to achieve forgiveness by doing the following; Mind you, I'm trying to put this in the smallest nutshell possible:
One, if someone inflicts a certain burden or pain on me, I think, "Why Did They Do That," and "What Can I Do About it Now?" Example, I'm driving home in rush hour traffic after a long day with my two hungry kids in the car. No one will let me merge onto the freeway when it's bumper to bumper traffic. I think I have the space to move into the next lane but another car quickly speeds up and cuts me off for no apparent reason. Do I get mad and honk my horn? (Sometimes... I never said I was perfect) Or do I just say, "Whatever, maybe he has to pee really really bad..." Later down the freeway more people are trying to get in and no cars in front of me are letting them in... I stop and let three cars pass in front of me. I don't want to, but why do I do it? Because is it really going to save me that much time if I don't let anyone in? No... not really. Will I at least make the traffic behind move a little faster and maybe even inspire some other drivers to be a little kinder on the road? Very possible... By not overreacting, not judging or criticizing and constantly trying to give people the benefit of the doubt, it's not difficult for me to forgive. Now, forgiving some jerk on the road is a lot easier than, say, a spouse that cheats on you. Forgiveness like this comes with time. I believe communication, though technologically abundant, has fallen on deaf ears in todays society. We have so much this and that screaming at us all the time, I think it's difficult for people to communicate what they want. Finding the reason as to why someone cheated on you or betrayed in whatever reason and understanding it, is the most difficult part about forgiving. I'm NOT saying their actions are justified or right, that's not the issue that we all get hung up on, it's the fact that we need to realize someone made a mistake, they are human and imperfect as are we and the sooner we forgive them we will stop dwelling on the pain and/or hurt they caused us... Does this make sense??? I feel like I'm missing a lot of good points I had thought of earlier... I really like your question... I wish more people had answered it.

Answer 3

Yes i stronly believen in forgiveness as i had lived long years of my life not forgiving few people. They weren't the one who suffered but myself. To forgive someone is not for their benefit. It's more of your own. There are some cases that when a person wronged you, the relationship is not going to be the same. You don't have to bend over backwards but you can just let it go. A lot of us find it hard to believe we can forgive because we hold on to our emotions. Forgiveness is a commitment not a feeling. Just because you've chosen to forgive someone doesn't mean it has taken your feelings towards that person. That feeling of hatred or hurt might be there for a while but keep telling yourself you have forgiven and let it go and time will heal the pain.

Answer 4

What a great question. Spiritually, I pray. I ask God (as I understand God) for help and direction. Mentally, I try to turn my thoughts away from the person or situation that has hurt me, instead of dwelling on it. I try to learn whatever lesson I need to learn, rather than what lesson I think the other party needs to learn. I have a tendency to feel anxious, hurt, insecure, and fearful. When people and life hurt me, I don't react well. Today, I really don't want to let other people have that kind of power over me. Pain, anger, guilt, and grudges keep me from living fully. It's called dumping the s**t!! To forgive, I have to let go. Letting go sometimes takes time. ...in the case of my ex-mother-in-law, I think it took a couple of years...

Answer 5

When you are angry with someone and do not forgive , your actions show. You may act unreasonably , rude , harst , prejudice, make the wrong choice, mean etc. People surrounding you will see exactly these.

You yourself will suffer rise in temperature , heartbeats , blood pressure , cannot sleep well.

Tell me , so far who suffer ? the one who does not want to forgive or the one whom you are angry at ?

Obviously the one who does not want to forgive. Therefore its better to fogive , because to forgive others is to set yourself free from all these suffering .

Once you forgive , you can save your energy , time, to do better things . Of course we can not forget . We can forgive but not forget ( how to forget ? its in your brain ) so that we will not put ourself to be in the position to be make angry by that person again .

You can forgive ( to set yourself free ) but not necessary to make peace . its like I can forgive him but I don't want to make friends with him anymore .

Answer 6

to achieve forgiveness of others, alls need be is to ask. if they do not, that is on them. consider yourself free of guilt, they are now the ones that have to live with that. carrying around grudges is only harmful to us and to others. it makes us bitter, mean, spiteful, vengeful, vendictive, (on and on), and robs us of true happiness, inner peace, and the ability to love someone wholeheartedly. Christs forgiveness is the only one you truly need to seek. The only one that ultimately matters.

Answer 7

as far as I'm concerned forgiveness is reserved for my personal relationships, as far as social and professional relationships thay don't mean enough to me to even think about holding a grudge or forgiving, to be plane and simple about it i just forget them.

Answer 8

i don't