It was my 30th birthday yesterday, and my husband who works alot of hours came home and took me and kids out for dinner. When we got home he fell asleep almost immediately, while I put kids to bed. I asked him if he could wake up to have sex and he went mental, saying I was an ungrateful and spoilt *****, and I, should know how hard he works while I sit at home on the couch!( I take care of our 5 children one a baby, take care of everything in the house, everyones meals, including him, and am frequently up during the night with the baby!) This morning hes not speaking to me, and stormed out of the house telling me to pack him a bag! I'm in shock. I mean just one day a year can i feel a little special????? I'm just in total shock! Is this me?
2006-09-05 19:35:36 · 12 answers · asked by jade95661 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thats horrible. He is very ungrateful. I to am a stay at home wife, soon to be mother. My husband has never said anything so hurtful and selfish to me ever and I don't think yours should have either. I think that he shoudl respect you more than that and you should respect yourself more than that. You should know very well that it isn't your fault. You are a hard working mother who does everything but bring in the money. You are the most valued member of the family and you should be treated that way. I wouldset your husband down and talk with him. tell him that what he said was mean and hurtful and that he should be more respectful to you. And if he doesn't, then do what he says you do. Just set on the couch all day, don't cook him food (do the kids though), make him get up with the baby at nights. See how he does with it, being a mother and a wife is far more than a full time job. I hope everything works out for you and it sounds like you deserve better than what you are getting.
2006-09-05 19:45:31 · answer #1 · answered by Jessica 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is MOST DEFINITELY NOT YOU!!! What an ungrateful jerk. gone are the days when men were the bread winners and the wife stays home barefoot and pregnant slaving away in the kitchen. Women have more responsibilities and do more around the house than men could possibly do at work. I think that if you had to work all day like your hubby, he would still feel you are not doing enough. Any man would jump at the opportunity of sex. Why he didn't makes me wonder if he's not getting it somewhere else. I'm not saying he is, maybe he had a really rough day. But you should definitely try to find out.
2006-09-05 19:42:41 · answer #2 · answered by BabyAngel 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He probably had grief from work for 'slacking off' to take you out for dinner. Really, some people think workaholics are the only people deserving of any respect and if he was the first one to go home, they'd notice. He remembered your birthday - many husbands don't - and he involved the kids. Sounds pretty good to me. Birthdays don't have to end with sex. Just wait for the weekend and use candles, flowers and food to set a special birthday treat mood...in fact do this any day you want to be special, who needs birthdays? And remember to thank him for everything he does sacrifice for you and the family.
2006-09-05 19:54:00 · answer #3 · answered by dkska; 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can perhaps appreciate why he would be a bit upset at you waking him up, but I’m not sure if the dummy spit on his part was completely necessary.
I’m not going to try to judge what sort of a marriage you have, based on only one night. What is the rest of your marriage like? You have five children, including a baby, so it doesn’t appear to me that you are being starved of sex. Have you been intimate with each other since the baby was born?
Did you feel ‘special’ that you had been taken out to dinner? Was it nice? Did you enjoy yourself? Do you think perhaps your husband was trying to make you feel ‘special’?
You have got five beautiful kids… How ‘special’ do you want to feel???
Happy Birthday for yesterday !!!
2006-09-05 19:51:54 · answer #4 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's just a cretin, any man thinking a " Mother "sits around and does nothing at home should be horse whipped, and have his head examined by a Psychiatrist for not wanting to make love to you on your special day. I think I would be exhausted being you looking after 5 children and one big "Baby". I'm sorry your hubby doesn't appreciate you, I hope the children made your day brighter for you, happy belated B'day. What come around goes around, he'll get what he deserves one day.
2006-09-05 19:51:42 · answer #5 · answered by unwise_blonde 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I don't know how much you left out of the story from yesterday (particularly yesterday night when he went "Mental" on you about waking him up) but whether you left a lot of the story out from last night or not, there's a lot missing in this post. In otherwords it sounds like this isn't something that he just thought up yesterday. There has to be something getting to him over the past long long while. So what is it? If you don't know, it's probably a good idea to try and figure it out.
2006-09-05 19:39:23 · answer #6 · answered by Olivia B 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He needs a reality check...We treat people how to treat us, and if you allow him to treat you this way then you are asking for a troubled marriage. You must sit him down and talk this through, demand respect and gratitude for the work you do in raising your children and caring for your home, and in return express your respect and gratitude for him being the main provider. Both men and women need to feel that they are appreciated and respected for their roles in the family. He may have lost his temper, because of the way he's been feeling lately. Make him feel needed and appreciated, but you have the right to get a little back in return.
2006-09-05 19:58:46 · answer #7 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry your married to such an a$$. Probably started his midlife crisis already. Try swaping places and make him the stay at home dad to take care of all the things at home. He'll have more appreciation after that.
2006-09-05 19:40:07 · answer #8 · answered by wildhair 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's so not your fault. He's just being a freaking jerk. You should be able to feel special for just ONE FREAKING NITE A YEAR!!!
He may be tired or something, or maybe something bad happened at work. You should try to be especially nice to him for the time being, until he cools down. Just try to be happy for the time being too - yuour husband's a big fat jerk!
2006-09-05 19:41:23 · answer #9 · answered by LAVELLE! :] 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i think he just using that as an excuse for leaving are you sure he working all theese hours because what it sounde like to me is that there might be another woman...
2006-09-05 19:56:03 · answer #10 · answered by Ms. Rockstar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋