How do I stop being bisexual?

Question

Please don't tell me to except it either. My religion scares me into not "coming out" and also my parents said that if any of their kids, me or my siblings, would "come out" they would disown them on the spot. My parents are absolutley disgusted by this idea. I want to stop these wretched feelings! I really can't stand being a guy who likes other guys!

Answer 1

You don't stop until it's time...
why stop...if it's the way you feel - enjoy it.

Germany is one of the few places where you can revel in your sexuality and your sexual preferences.

I understand how bizarre - and complex - German parents can be...however I also know how clever German children are raised to be - so I know this isn't the crux of your problem.

i feel like you're asking a question simply to ask it...
because if you choose to be bisexual...you will be.
if a bi-sexual lifestyle is not for you...you'll give up one or the other (men or women).

I do wish you...sincerely...the best of success in your struggle...

and I also hope you can come up with a more poignant question.

Answer 2

1. You can't stop these "wretched" feelings. They are NATURAL AND NORMAL for you.
2. I know parents who said that to their 5 boys. 2 of the boys were gay, they came out in their 20s -- the parents changed their mind -- those were their 2 best kids, don't despair.
3. The religion is false. If you want to know why, read the website I maintain or contact me for direct discussion.

You have been lied to, brainwashed, and frightened. You remind me of Frank before he came out. I never dreamed he was gay -- and he was so unhappy. In his early 20's, having lived miserably from before puberty, the time came when he had to either be himself or give up on ever having any meaningful life. He decided to be himself and have a life and when he did, he gave it all up -- the lying to keep his family happy, the hiding from his friends, the whole thing -- and now he is one of the happiest people I know.

Your parents are not living in your body. The leaders of your faith aren't either. They don't know and could not understand what you are feeling. Only you do.

I know you want someone to tell you that you can change, but you can't. I could lie to you and tell you that you can -- then I would have lied, and done you a disservice at the same time. You might believe me for a few weeks, but when you realized that you weren't and can't change, you would feel worse than you do now.

Celibacy, if you choose that route, is certainly a viable route -- but I would never pick it, and it won't make the feelings go away, it will just mean that you elect to never act on them. If you decide to be celibate, do it for yourself though - -not because being bi or gay offends a bunch of other people who will never, ever understand what you have given up.

If you need to talk, email me.

Kind thoughts,

Reynolds Jones
http://www.rebuff.org
[e-mail]

Answer 3

If you are a bisexual and still a young fellow, you may very well be happy as a married man a few years from now, no matter what urges you might have towards the same sex.

I encourage you NOT to tell your parents anything about your true orientation at this stage of your life, especially if you are still living under their roof.

GermanDude, remember this too: A lot of the supposedly straight guys you have encountered in school, church, sports, etc. are actually bisexual and you just don't know it. Perhaps the biggest secret about men that you don't realize you have discovered yet is that MOST men are probably bisexual to some extent. They don't always act on it though.

I do encourage you to talk to a counselor and get these concerns you have about yourself out. Don't bottle them up. To bottle them up and never discuss them could lead to serious trouble later. You are a very normal, healthy young man. Don't forget it.

Answer 4

German Dude,
I haven't read any of the other posts yet. I am saying this to you because you touched a few pertinent points here.

Ready?

Oh damn! You didn;t say which religion. If you read this and this is the last line, add the info up at the top. Okay? I'm still writing.


When I was a child I was molested by several different "Entities." One was a boy about 7 years older, the other was my now deceased dad. I had no idea that it would affect me with depression and all kinds of guilt, resulting in anger and a life of general Hell. All seemed against me. When I became a Christian, I found that God had me in mind to do what I am doing now; spreading the word on the internet, giving people such as yourself hope, and the knowledge that God isn't against those who truly want to know Him. He puts the idea in our heads, in fact.

Unfortunately, tradition Christianity has perverted the Gospel, and made it a religion of "Deal with your sinful baggage and then you can come to God," thing. That's the Devils work. He constantly tries to distort the word of God. As he did in the beginning in the Garden.

You parents are making matters worse. But let's not try to change them. Let's just keep our eyes on Jesus, as it says in Hebrews 12. And live by faith, as it says in the Bible, " The just shall live by faith."

If you want more, tell me. I help people here. Just send me a message by clicking on my name.

Peace to you. It doesn't have to be that bad. But you will have to grow.

Answer 5

You can not ever change it. You can however change your religion and change your environment. I am sorry you will have to live in the closet till you can get out of your parents home. Make your own money and get a place of your own. You are bisexual at least you can pretend for a while find a nice girl to date and have sex with till you can get out on your own. The feelings will not go away don't make a mistake and get married. You will do better by staying single. You might be g0y not gay and that is a good thing. G0ys follow biblical principles in our relationships with men. We do not do anal sex or effeminate behavior. We are the kosher catches of the homosexual community. We love our buds like life itself and we extol masculine virtues like discretion, bravery and integrity. Tough, tender and trustworthy that is a g0y.

Answer 6

You can stop the physical aspect of it but you will never stop thinking about it. Its who you are its such a shame that it makes you so unhappy, but you have to think of your own happiness not others. If people care about you, so ok they might go off on one for a while but given time most will come to accept that it is still you the person that they love. If you cant accept who you are how can you expect other people to do so. Its part of you like the color of your hair and eyes. Love is blind so they say, you fall for a person not dangly bits or lack of them. Good luck

Answer 7

If you're that determined to live your life in misery, then do what some of the more determined monks and nuns did, which is lock yourself away from worldly distractions, surround yourself with biblical texts, even put on hosehair clothing and inflict pain on yourself everytime you even think an ungodly thought.

If you don't like the sound of that then you need to seriously decide what is important to you in your life and then set your mind on achieving this.

For what it's worth I think any family that is willing to disown someone for being happy and contented with who they are, is a family not worthy of that person's respect and love.

Answer 8

You can't stop being bisexual. You can change your religion, but not your orientation.

However, you don't have to have sex with men. If you're in a relationship, the idea is to only have sex with that person anyway. It'd would be a lot harder if you were gay - then you'd either have to come out or never have sex.

Answer 9

So, you would prefer living up to what other people say (which is attached to again what other people say) then to live up to what you feel?
You would prefer to live a lie because others expect that from you, then to be yourself?
If that is the case, good luck with it, I doubt you will succeed.
I am not religious, but if you are, ask yourself one thing.. if you are a creature of god, then wouldn't you honor god the most by being your true self?

Answer 10

This is a very hard question that ultimately only you can answer.Only you know how you feel and who you are.We can give advice and sometimes the advice people give you is only in their interest and not yours.So you just have to do what makes you happy and be yourself.That is the only thing that, in the end, will bring you any happiness.