she wants visitation writen up in our divorce papers
but she has no legal right to have them they are mine from a marriage before
should i tell her yes have them written up or HELL no
you threw me out now live with it
best answer 10 points
2006-09-05 18:17:38 · 36 answers · asked by lordfatrat 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You never said anything about the mother of the children. Does she have rights to the kids? How was this soon to be ex with your children? did she love them enough to help you raise them up right?
Just because she kicked you out, doesn't mean that her love for the children is gone.
Don't hurt the kids because you two didn't get along.
Don't hold the kids back from "LOVE" if someone loves your kids, let them!
There are too many children out here in the world who don't have parents at all to love them.
If the kids love her, YES!!!!!!!! let her see the kids.
Plus this is your chance to have a life outside of the kids. When she has the kids, you can go out on dates or just hang out with old friends.
Don't be an *** like others are telling you to be, and think of the kids first please. It will hurt the kids in the long run. blessings to you and good luck!
P.s. You don't get child support for "visitation" I noticed that some people were telling you to tell her to pay. This is not custody we are talking about..its visitation..seeing the kids is not custody even with joint custody you don't pay each other.
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2006-09-05 18:34:30 · answer #1 · answered by poophead 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all i wouldnt have them written in the divorce papers, if she has no "legal" tie to them then theres no need for her to be given visitation rights.. Now on the other hand depending how long she's been in ur childrens lives, and how "THEY" not u.. but "THEY" feel about her then id just make arrangements between the two of u on the side, because if they are attached to her, then they shouldnt be made to suffer just because u both made poor decisions by marrying the wrong people..But u need to let her know that if she wants to do this she cant just stop seeing them when its not convient for her, or when she finds a new bf, or when she has children of her own, because they dont need to be hurt down the road when they are no longer convient for her life.. it would be better for them to break it off now, and go through the hurt now, then to be hurt later after they keep getting more and more attached.. So its ur call, but dont be spiteful if prior to her hurting u, and if u were thinking with a clear head, does she really love them???? or is she just trying to use them as a pawn , and will throw them to the curb as soon as they are no long convient to her.. Do what u think is best for YOUR CHILDREN.. not FOR HER , YOUR CHILDREN..
2006-09-05 18:25:20 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well, it really depends on how long you were together, and how long she raised them as her own kids. She must have grown attached to them, but I would not have it written into the divorce, you should just tell her that you don't want that. If she wants to see them, tell her that she can have a short visit with them at some neutral place. If she threw you out, then I would not give in on that, I wish you luck, and make sure that the kids understand what is going on...
2006-09-05 18:29:44 · answer #3 · answered by Just Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose you are writing about rights to visit your children ? If it is, even though they (the kids) are not hers, she might have grown to love them while married to you so, there really is nothing wrong to allow her visitations rights...and even more if the kids love her too. I dont really know the reasons why she threw you out and I suppose the chain of events have lead to a divorce..and I can only assume that she have problems with you, and not the children. In matters like this, you have to think rationally and be objective about the wellbeing of your children. Put aside your anger towards her and think about the children instead. If they have grown up with her for some years, did it ever occur to you that they might want to see her too ? So dont be selfish just because you want to get even. But having said that, if you think/feel that she have ill intentions towards your children, just to get equally even with you by demanding this rights, then by all means, SAY NO !!!
2006-09-05 18:26:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on the relationship she had with the kids prior to the divorce. Some things to factor into the equation are:
How old are the kids?
How long has she been in the kids lives?
Has she been involved in the raising of the kids?
Is their biological mother still around?
Do the kids want a relationship with her?
What's your ex's reasoning in wanting visitation?
Would it be safe for the kids to be with her unsupervised?
Remember, the kids aren't emotionally part of the divorce... that's between you and her; so you need to do what's best for THEM.
2006-09-06 10:19:01 · answer #5 · answered by ♫☼♥ ≈ Debbi ≈ ♥☼♫ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For as angry as you are about all of this, set your emotions aside and look at your children. Do they love this women? Have they developed a relationship with her? Do they want to continue to see her? If you answered yes to any of those questions, then by all means, do the right thing by your children and continue to let her see them. I know it is going to be hard. I also know that you have no legal duty obligation to her, but it's not actually about her and what she's done....it's about your children. Find another way to make her life miserable and PLEASE leave the children out of it...in the long run, you'll be the better person for it honey.
I should also add that since they are YOUR children, you should be the one to make up the visitation schedule that suits your life, not hers. If you let her write them up, you give her the power to dictate when she wants them, and she wins again!
2006-09-05 18:23:32 · answer #6 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Tell her as long as she is willing to pay child support....she can see the kids.
But seriously....if she is not the biological mother to the kids and did not legally adopt them then she has no claim to visitation.
For some reason a crazy judge gives her some visitation....the same crazy judge should also make her pay child support too.
2006-09-05 18:27:56 · answer #7 · answered by Tony 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really loved her and she has concern for the kids, and no risk of hurting them, and they like her in return, I would arrange some visits convienient to your own time, and out of the system. Tell her you are being reasonable to let her visit them here and there, and you would expect the same out of her. If they aren't hers biologically, tell her you are being kind, but she has no right to go after that in court. Showing hostility wouldn't be good for the kids.
2006-09-05 18:24:36 · answer #8 · answered by Country 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you ask this question are you thinking revenge or what would be best for the kids.Are they attached to her a lot? Has she been a large part of their lives?When you get a divorce it becomes way to easy to make it a pissing contest instead of keeping your eyes on the best thing for everyone.Think it through,only you truly know the answer to this question.
2006-09-05 18:24:37 · answer #9 · answered by kelliekareen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she never bonded with them b4, she has no need to start now. If the kids really feel strongly about seeing her, then you can decide when and where, without the papers. Just a precaution to make sure she doesn't abuse any rights to get back at you.
2006-09-05 18:21:35 · answer #10 · answered by ~blessss♫☼ ♪♥ ☼ ♠♫ ♣☺☻ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋