My wife and I just seperated and we have a 5 yr old. All of us live in Michigan my parents live in Florida?

Question

And im thinking about joining them to start fresh and restart my life will I be a horrible person and father if I leave my son

Answer 1

Leaving Michigan doesn't make you a horrible father. You can live anywhere and still be a great dad. By the same token, you can stay in Michigan, be miserable personally and probably end up not being much of a father at all. At least not one your son will respect. Taking care of yourself will insure that you are fit to care for others especially your child. Obviously, you love him or you wouldn't have this concern. Just don't let "out of sight" feel like "out of mind" and he will be fine. Follow your heart and good luck to you!

Answer 2

This isn't what you wanted to hear, but you chose, with your wife, to remain in Michigan prior to the divorce correct? Assuming yeah, why leave just because of the divorce? You can be the Dad who lives an hour a way, and still maintain a good relationship with your son, yet still be far enough from the ex to feel like you are starting over. I'll go one step further, don't be the Dad who the kid has fun with on the weekends. Maintain some sort of authority over your son, as if you were still living with him. If you are "the fun Dad", your kid will unknowingly lose a lot of respect for you and not think of you as "the Dad I want to ask about my first date, etc". This is just my opinion. It is your life and your call. If you did leave to Florida, would you be able to see your son at least once a month or so?

I guess, overall, don't listen to me, I think you can work this out with a professional as well, or even a spiratual advisor (if you believe in that type of thing). It is a BIG decision, and is ultimately up to you, but it does affect others now since you are a father.

Answer 3

My husband and I separated two months ago, Im living with my parents exactly 45 mins away from him, and my 6 and 5 yr old ask about him constantly and can't wait to see him in the evenings during school. If he left now to a new state, my son would be sooooo hurt. You can live in a new town, to start fresh. You would come home, ( from florida) after a lengthy separation, only to find him shy away from you as if you were a stranger. Is this something you want? This is a question for a professional. ~Best of luck!~

Answer 4

I understand wanting to have a "fresh start" and moving back near family for support, but you really ought to re-think this honey. You have a little five year old who doesn't understand what a "fresh start" means. All he sees is a father who no longer wants to be with him. It's a selfish act on your part. You are going to give this poor little boy one hell of a complex that he will have to bear throughout his life. Do you really want to do that? Is making a fresh start more important than the emotional well-being of the child you created. He didn't ask to be here, you brought him into this world. It's going to be impossible for you to live in Florida and be in MI to see his first Christmas pageant at school, you'll miss father/son sports, that bond you together. You'll miss alot of things honey....as will he. Is it really worth it? Why not stick it out a few more years until he's old enough to understand, and old enough to fly on a plane for visitation. You'll be glad you did!

Answer 5

YES.. how often do u think u will see your son? maybe in the summer? if that.. what kind of father are u that would abandon his child like that, do u think he doesnt need a dad? what about his feelings, doesnt he have the right to have a father that is active in his life, that goes to school functions that teaches him how to play football, and other sports, that is there to give him advice about girls, and answer questions about puberty, and to love him so he will too grow up to be a good father one day to his kids?????????????????? What an inconsiderate a-hole u are.. to even WANT to leave ur child behind.. as if he was nothing but a stray puppy that u could leave out in the cold and only feed or give shelter too when it was convient for u.. Its not ur childs fault that u made crappy choices in your life.. why should he have to keep paying for your stupidity?????? ARE U THAT COLD HEARTED that u could get up and leave??????????? It would not only make ur a horrible monster, it would make u only a "Sperm donor" and not a father, and definately not a daddy..and if i was ur mom and dad i would disown u for treating ur son so badly and not being a REAL man and owning up to ur responsibilities.. and id be so depressed to the point of asking myself what the hell i did wrong to raise such a cold hearted monster as as son.. i would be disgraced..

Answer 6

I understand the need for you to want to leave an extremely hurtful and stressful situation. I've been through a divorce and wouldn't wish it on anyone. Sorry for your situation.

Even if you become divorced, I believe a child needs BOTH their parents involved in their lives. It's in the best interest of that child. I don't think either parent should have exclusive right to parenting...both are needed and bring different and unique qualities to the raising of a child.

This is a big decision that requires a lot of thought. Don't rush into a hasty decision. Best of luck.

Answer 7

Your son needs you. You divorced your wife, not him. So just not to make things worse for him, try to stay in the same town. A dad is so important, he is not only the money provider, but a male figure to admire, talk to, and the father is needed, even if you don't live in the same house, at least he can see you on a regular basis, hopefully at least 3 days a week.

Your parents love you, but your son needs you.

Answer 8

That will not make you a horrible person .. it just means you have to work a little harder to keep a relationship going for your 5 year old. I am currently living in Germany and my ex husband lives in Florida. Needless to say, my son spends some of the summer with his father, he calls daily to speak to our son and in addition I have Instant Messenger and Web Cams ..

Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brillant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel

Answer 9

you wont be a horible person you will however find that it is harder to have a good realtionship with your son how close can the 2 of you get with only 3 weeks every summer and a few holidays depending on if he wants to see you on those holidays when he gets older you may want to talk to him and your wife about your idea before you go threw with it she may end up fighting you for full custody because you are wanting to take him out of state and may never come back and who will watch your son while you are at work when he comes and visits you in florida all things to consider before moving there good luck hope all works out for you just remember your son should come first before anything else in your life if you want to have a good realtionship with him

Answer 10

only YOU can decide this...... you have lots to consider here.... being away from him will make it hard to even be a father..... if and when she meets another, you will be leaving room for him to step in..... but, if moving is the only way for you to move on, then maybe you should..... just make sure your son is the number one priority in your life..... phone calls, visitation, pictures, e-mails, special stuff like tickets to ball games, make the memories count......buy him a cell phone and make sure he can call you anytime......... and do NOT ever lie to the little guy..... kids are very smart and can read between the lines....... and do not start out strong and end up weak..... be a father 24 hrs a day, NOT when it is convenient for you.......... God bless