i have a dear good hearted friend of mine that today asked me to stop meeting with him in person because he does not want to get into a serious courtship with me. he wants to stop his feelings for me because of my husband and wants to be with me when i get a divorce. this all came as a surprise to me because i always thought we were not being intimate. i felt we were just having fun. what do you guys think happened to him because i did not see this comming? he claims he loves me but is not in love with me..
2006-09-05 17:14:25 · 13 answers · asked by non-curious 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds to me as though he doesn't trust himself around you and wants to avoid any confrontation with his feelings because you are married. I think he is doing the honorable thing (in a strange way) but honorable just the same. I think you should let your friend go on his way...Good Luck!!
2006-09-05 17:18:17 · answer #1 · answered by sfs_onfridays 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's a good man, hes mature enough to realize that he's having feeling for u , more then just friendship, and he is smart enough to back out before they go any further, and respects the union of marriage enough to do so.. And i find it odd that u can say u didnt see this coming, because id be willing to bet if u could some how have a outter body expirence and view your body language and all the personal things u probably talked about ie your failing marriage.. ect.. U would see times that u "flipped your hair", "smiled at him coyly" , maybe told him alittle more then u should have.. "maybe touched him on his arm or leg in a flirtatious manner even if it was innocent while laughing and joking around" ect.. these things happen when u put a girl in a failing marriage with a guy that is being her shoulder to cry on and her support system.. So to say u have no clue how this happened i think ur being alittle to nieve.. and actting alittle to innocent.. and although maybe u dont think u were being intimate he obviously took it as u were.. Its like guys that get upset cause they flirtatiously flirt with waitresses, or girls behind the counter and they can understand why their gf's or wives are getting jealous.. its because although they are think their joking they are coming accrossed as flirting and depending on the woman she thinks he's flirting as well.......so just because u do something that u think is innocent doesnt mean that the other person isnt taking it as much more.. and if he was just a "friend" ask urself how many times did u spend hours getting dressed and making sure ur make up was just so before going to see "just your friend" ...time for u to be honest with urself..
2006-09-06 00:32:27 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without even realizing it, you were telling him everything he wanted to hear. Considering the fact, he broke it off, due to your marriage, says he's an overly emotional man that is very in-tune with things around him. He was probably picking up on things you didn't notice you were putting out there. Re-examine your relationship and think back to every encounter with this man. Then ask yourself how each incident could have been taken another way....that'll be your answer honey.
2006-09-06 00:20:52 · answer #3 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him this part: "i felt we were just having fun." He will leave you alone.
Not very kind of you to play with his emotions. If it were me, and somehow I'd made an error where a guy thought something else than what it was, I'd be gentle but truthful. But...yeah, I think you should tell him what you told Yahoo! That you have no intention of leaving your husband and playtime is over.
Ew.
2006-09-06 00:18:41 · answer #4 · answered by *babydoll* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you state you already have a husband, why are you tempting fate by putting yourself in close proximity to this man?
He sounds like a sensible man who may really be interested in having a relationship with you, but not while you are still married.
It sounds like he was speaking to you as a real friend giving good advice: avoid entanglements until your divorce comes through.
Best wishes.
2006-09-06 00:19:45 · answer #5 · answered by Jess4rsake 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds confusing - to answer your original question (seems the least convoluted) you cannot help falling in love unless you close your heart to the opportunity. If you do not allow anyone in then there is no risk of falling in love.
2006-09-06 00:17:52 · answer #6 · answered by jbabee22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all if you have a guy friend just remember that there can be some kind of feelings, I should know I lost my best friend due to that reason , and well it just broke my heart,,,he was in love with me and well he knew that I just couldn't just leave my husband just right away, so now our friendship is over now,,,
don't let this happen to you.....
2006-09-06 00:21:04 · answer #7 · answered by E.M. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously saw your relationship with him differently than you did. If he is not in love with you and you just want to be friends then what's the big deal?
2006-09-06 00:17:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
GET AWAY YOU DON'T NEED IT STAY WITH YOUR MAN I THINK HE JUST WANTS TO USE YOU GET AWAY YOU NEED TO HAVE A TALK WITH YOUR HUSBAND TO LET HIM KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO KEEP IT GOING WITH HIM SOMETHING IS WRONG AT HOME OR YOU WOULD NOT BE LOOKING STAY AWAY FROM THAT OTHER MAN GET IT GOOD LUCK TO YOU
2006-09-06 00:21:57 · answer #9 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You wouldn't happen to be just a little mixed up,would you,Honey?
2006-09-06 00:17:52 · answer #10 · answered by Putt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋