would it be best to keep a secret that I am gay?

Question

Even though I am gay dont want no one to know. Is this a good thing keeping this a secret not telling no one. I think I will do better without people knowing I am gay. I am trying to get right with the lord to overcome my sexual oreintation. If I am getting right with the lord about being gay, should I still tell my family and friends. It a african american culture it is just really hard for you family and friends to accept that you are gay than if I was in white family

Answer 1

Being white would not make it any easier. I doubt that a gay person can just get over being gay by getting right with the lord. Perhaps ou should just wait until ou are a bit older before exploring sexuality at all. You souns like you may be kinda young.

Answer 2

I don't think it has anything to do with being gay or not. It is more about the amount of drama the person likes. I have a straight friend who I can't tell a thing because she loves to dish. Many gay guys use someone else's pain or secret as a way to get others to like them. But I think that goes along with immaturity. As they become more mature, they will likely learn their actions are hurtful. It's good to know who those people are before you share your secret!

Answer 3

I don't like trying to tell someone what they should and shouldn't believe or feel. This is my opinion, and I believe it to also be fact, but you may disagree.

You can pray all you want, but if you're gay, you're gay. It's who you are. There are people who say they've been "saved", who claim to be "cured". I wonder if some of those people aren't perhaps 1) bisexual to begin with or 2) simply afraid of being judged, by other people and by God. I know I would be afraid in that situation.

For what it's worth, my suggestion is that you tell the people you love. You'll need some help getting through this, coming to accept yourself for who you are. If you don't think your relatives will understand or be able to accept who you are, then I suggest seeking out a therapist. Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

Answer 4

you can't change the way you are. If you don't want your family and friends to know, it's understandable. Keep it to yourself, however, don't try to overcome it, it's impossible. You will only be very unhappy and depressed. Your are the way you are, it's not a choice. One of my friends is gay, he did not want to admit it and was trying to become straight. He dated a woman a few times,but it did not work out. He could not get aroused by a woman and always was dreaming of men even when he did not want to. It got so bad, he almost committed suicide. Thank goodness he did not and we talked about it for a long time, he decided not to let his family know, but see men discreetly. He is a changed person, happy and content. If you are bi-sexual, then maybe you can stick with women, but if you're truly gay, you can't change. Good luck and be happy

Answer 5

Coming out to friends, relatives, parents - these are individual choices we have to make. Some will come out to everyone, some to a select few, some to no-one.

I know from experience that until I came out I was miserable. I drank too much, and had destructive behaviors. To fake being straight, I dated women and made their lives, and my life, miserable.

Since coming out at work and to my friends and family, I find I am happier, free of guilt and worry, and able to enjoy my life to the full.

I can't speak to your issues with religion - I am an atheist. I can tell you that if you are gay, there is no way to change that. You can live a celibate life, fake being straight, and marry and raise a family - but you will still be gay.

Answer 6

If you don't feel comfortable telling even your closest friend, then keep your orientation to yourself right now. You might benefit from talking to a counselor though, just so you can get some of this out to another human being who will not judge you.

The "closet" is not necesarily a bad place to be, especially if you still live at home or you are not really sure about your orientation.

Good luck.

Answer 7

You don't have to come out to your family, but you need to talk to SOMEONE. If you bottle it up, you just end up severely depressed.

Actually, a lot of what Julie B had to say was good advice, except that she made it sound as though you were somehow messed up because you are gay. God loves you. He knows your gay and he made you that way. Never forget that. And find someone to talk to.

Answer 8

God didn't create you to be miserable or not have love in your life. I think a different concept of god might be better for your well-being than trying to keep your "secret". It's your choce what to do, but you were "right with the lord" when you were created, it's the people who have told you that you aren't that got the message wrong.

Answer 9

ok color has nothing to do with it weather you r white or black each family has differt beliefs. i think honey if you r gay it is really hard for you to change that especially for the lord or your family how fare is that to you if your family loves you there going to love you not someone you r trying to be and the lord loves all his children he put us here for a reason.

Answer 10

I don't know --your sexual orientation really isn't anyone elses business unless you want it to be....If you are comfortable hiding it and want to then do just that....I don't know very much about african american culture..so I can't advise you on that...but coming out is never easy for anyone.