Not sure if this is the one, but been with her now for 20 months? She is pushing marriage, but im not ready! What should i do? I tried to explain to her that im scared to get married, especially since my last marriage failed(not on my part)! I left her for being un true! I dont honestly know if i want to get married again, but i feel like she is pushing me towards this, and it is making me wanna run! Only woman please answer this, please? ty frank
2006-09-05 16:53:41 · 15 answers · asked by bubba 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get over it, Sir! Marry her and move past ur fears. And whatever happens, work out your issues!! Don't run away from them.
2006-09-05 16:57:10 · answer #1 · answered by pacific_crush 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well first off, marriage should NOT be pressured, that's a recipe for a failed marriage. It should be wanted by both parties. Secondly, you need to get over your fears. You're a big boy lol. She's also coming off a little too strong but I can understand her desire to get married. But now that you have had a failed marriage in the past, you now have experience with being a husband-you now know what not to do or what to do in a marriage. I'm not putting the blame on you b/c it's a 2-way street here but you have a better idea of what you're getting into. Think this way: Is she the woman you think you can marry and be happy with? Do you trust her? Is she worth it? Most importantly; do you love her? Analyze the situation. Be cautious. She should not pressure you nor give you an ultimatum either. You should feel desired to get married to her, not feel as if you have to or else. Sit down and have a talk with her. Share your feelings and concerns. Quite frankly, I would not want to get married to someone I had to pressure-nor would I force him to in a million years. I'd be on my way if there was no proposal after being with my man for a year :) But tjhen again, that's just me.
2006-09-06 00:01:28 · answer #2 · answered by NO♥NAME 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never get married from pressure, it is a horrible way to start off any relationship.
Seriously.... sit her down and tell her flat out what you wrote here.... You feel like she is pushing you, and it makes you want to run. Communicate your HONEST feelings about it with her. Let her know if you think you will ever want to be married again. She will only keep the pressure on unless she knows it makes you want to walk away. Maybe if she knows that, she will step back and not be as aggressive.
At the same time, if she needs marriage and you dont want to take that step, then you need to let her go to find the right man...
You need to think about what you really want and what is important to you.
2006-09-06 00:56:08 · answer #3 · answered by Tawny Amber 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
20 months really isn't all that long to know someone. My husband and I dated for 7 years before we got married and we had plenty of ups and downs in that time. You've been to the altar once, you know marriage isn't all roses all of the time. Don't cave to pressure. Your intuition is telling you something. It doesn't sound like you would be miserable without her if you already want to run! She may try to push even harder by saying that she isn't the one who hurt you but the fact remains that you were hurt. Most sane people are smart enough to be cautious a second time around. You'll know if and when things are right. Right now things just aren't right for you.
2006-09-06 00:21:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you marry someone that you are having second thoughts on? You don't have to do anything you don't want to do no matter what the other person wants.
If you want to remain single, remain single. However, don't give her the thought that it may happen if you know it won't. That would be unfair, but not a reason to marry someone.
Your a grown man, no need to run, face your partner and tell her how you feel.
2006-09-06 00:16:34 · answer #5 · answered by Sunflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask strangers on a message board if someone is right for you, then they are not right for you. When/if you are ready to marry again, you will know it in your heart. This woman is obviously not right for you if she is pushing you into something you do not want or are not ready for. When you find true love again, you will know it without a question.
2006-09-06 00:24:46 · answer #6 · answered by cowgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, you've got to understand her point of view... She doesn't want to hang around you forever, waiting for you to be "ready". There's NOTHING wrong with wanting to stay single - if you feel this is what you want, don't let ANYONE guilt you into anything. But you have to tell her honestly that you don't want to get married, and suggest that she goes to look elsewhere. It's not fair to her for you to not give her a decisive and final answer.
2006-09-06 01:00:54 · answer #7 · answered by codex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have been burnt and are taking a longer time to put out the fire.....you were hurt and it may take longer to jump into the pan again.....talk to your lady and tell her how you feel...if she is a good and sincere woman, she will understand and wait a little longer...if you are scared and do not plan on a future...let her go and let her move on!!!!
2006-09-05 23:57:38 · answer #8 · answered by Sammyleggs222 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her exactly how you feel. If she truely loves you she will understand and not pressure you. If you are questioning her, she is prolly not the right one.
2006-09-05 23:57:10 · answer #9 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how you should know if this is the right woman? when she is nothing but the best ... just straight up... and if she's pressuring you ... yeild!!!! don't do anything... just let your intuition lead you and don't let your fears lead you... build from them
2006-09-06 00:07:57 · answer #10 · answered by clover_t21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋