my daughter is 14 i found out she has been having sex with her 16yr old boy friend what should i do?

Question

i found out my daughter is having sex she is 14 he is 16 it is her boyfriend i do not know what i should do they were sneaky enough to do it around people both times at his grandmothers after church and at my mothers in a swiming pool while she watched them she makes good grades great in school but a very good liar and now i have found out she has been belimic for about 2 months . my ? is how do i punish her do i let her continue to talk to him if i do am i giving her the ok to do it again or should i tell her she can not talk or see him again and watch her hurt and not like being around me now

Answer 1

Both the sexual activity and the Bulimia are important. I would tend to report the sexual activity to the police and not let your daughter see him again. No one has any business having sex with a 14 y/o girl! He needs to be stopped.

I would suggest that you and your daughter get into a good eating disorder program that does Family Therapy. The University of Minnesota in Minneapolis has a good one. I don't know of any others besides this one.

Answer 2

in simple terms Ask Her approximately It, permit her comprehend you're There For Her... in case you're Strict she would be waiting to insurrection. make certain She Takes each and all the Neccessary Precautions And issues (delivery administration, condoms ect) And in simple terms experience It Out desire This enables :) Oh And If She nicely-knownshows Out Her Texts And Diaries have been examine she would be waiting to get Mad And Lash Out as though She Is Being A being concerned make certain it is An Invaision On privateness Clo & Millie :D:D:D

Answer 3

Whether or not you "allow" her to talk to him, she will and she'll probably have sex again.

You need to have a serious talk with her about the consequences of having sex. STDs, AIDS, Pregnancy, Cervical Cancer via HPV, etc.

You also need to take her to her doctor to start getting Pap smears and yearly exams now that she is sexually active.

You may not condone her having sex but you might want to consider making condoms "freely" available around the house.

If this isn't the way you want to go, consider getting one of those GPS locking watches and not letting the grandparents watch her.

Answer 4

You don't "punish" her. You educate her and you use this as a way to bond with her.

Her punishment is her having her own consquence for her own actions.

It is time you let her grow up and fall on her butt. Sometimes the best way to learn from mistake is to allow a mistake to happen. She will then realize how cautious she has to be on her choices.

Punnishing her will only make her move away from you and rebel even more.

You and I were teens. You need to look back of how you felt and how you rebel against your parents. I know you did at least once. Remember that feeling and put yourself in her shoe's.

I am not condoning her sexual activity.

However, you stay stop and she will keep doing it. That is not the right way to approach this. She will rebel. Feel you "don't love her and he does" and rebel against you. You don't have a right to tell her who she can love and be with. If so, then she has the right to tell you.

She also can become sexually active with other's with out you knowing. Don't think if you seperate it will go away.

You do have the right to be a parent, protect her and make sure she is being safe if she continues to be sexually active.

You need to make sure she is on birth control and will continue to stay on it.

You need to make sure she is std free and so is he. He needs to know about condom usage and they BOTH need to be talk to together and asked

1) What you going to do about a pregnancy? School? Work? Bills? Rent? Doing this together? Marriage?

Make sure they go through parenting and youth courses explaing the consequences of sex and get it in their head that they are 100% responsible, not you.

Answer 5

It might seem a little late for this approach, but its worth mentioning...
Take her in for an exam with an OB/GYN & explain to the Dr. what your daughter is doing. They should be able to help you on both issues or atleast know where to tell you to go for help.
Second, "Family Planning" can help with alot of information, and probably help try to "scare her" into abstaining from sexual activities.
good luck

Answer 6

this is a hard one. I'd punish her, make her think about the consequences of having sex is, let her know that all her privileges will be suspended till she starts acting like a responsible adult. She is acting like one by having sex, but that's irresponsible at her age. Take away things that she loves, stop her outings, or if u do let her out give her a curfew. Tell her that having sex has lifetime consequences and it should be done till ur married or at least till u are at a mature age, which is clearly not "14" . PEople are going to tell u it's normal, but it doesnt make it normal eventhough everyone is doing it . Tell her that u dont care about what the world is doing, u care about what she does and it matters because she lives under ur roof, and she has to abide by ur rules as long as she lives in it.

Answer 7

If they are going to have sex, they are going to have sex. Punishing her isn't going to solve this problem. You have to have a very frank, in-your-face talk with her and him and let them know that this behavior is unacceptable. Lay out some ground rules such as never being allowed to be alone together with out a responsible adult present. Get his parents involved so they don't have a "safe" place to sneak off to. Most importantly,educate them about STDs and birth control and open their eyes on how their lives would be turned upside down if your daughter becomes pregnant.

Answer 8

by all means take her to the gyn. let her take over the responsibilities since she wants to act like an adult. when she breaks tell her to imagine adding a baby to the responsibility. give her no cash. let her know the real deal on stds. some teen girls want to have babies more than some want to have sex. find out where your daughters mental state of mind is on the consequences of each.

Answer 9

If you try to punish her it will just make them sneak around more. Make sure that she is on birth control and that they know that the pill alone is not safe against STDs. I would take her to the doctor to deal with the Bulemia however. There are a lot of girls that die from eating disorders.

Answer 10

First, you are her mom...not her friend. So you tell her that she can't see him. She sulks around!! Oh well...it is for her best interest!!! Being a Mom is hard...and you hate seeing your kids in uncomfortable but in the end they will come back to thank you!